Hey! I found this neat time machine, but the interface is a little obtuse. I can't just plug in a date, I've gotta put in a percentage. When do you want to go?
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I think it's actually healthy to have at least one life aspiration that's abnormal to want and impracticable to achieve. It lends a sense of perspective.
Hi. I’m Grace. I occasionally post my wild-ass worldbuilding/lorecrafting hypotheses here. I’ve tapered off ever since I quit WoW, but Azeroth was not my first love. It’s probably not even my third or fourth. My first love – by which I mean the kind of strained love of someone you care deeply about even though they have got to get their personal life together – is Auldrant. This fuckin’ planet. I won’t blame it for how or why I pursued geosciences as my field of study, but my fascination with it grew as I learned more about earth sciences. I say “fascination” rather than “appreciation” because whenever I chase some detail around I find something that looks pretty dang accurate at a glance and horrifyingly wrong at the second and third.
And there’s quite a lot of detail to chase! Out of all of the settings of the Tales games, Auldrant has the most comprehensively-documented facts and figures. I’m drawing primarily from the Famitsu Perfect guide for this, but there’s still a ton of ingame lore that a dedicated fan can document. It’s not quite on the same level as The Elder Scrolls, but it’s much more detailed in its worldbuilding than pretty much any game in its series. The history of the world gets tied very heavily into the story, such that understanding at least the broad strokes is essential to understanding the plot of the game. I don’t disagree that it creates a bit of a barrier to a new player, but for anyone who wants to really immerse themselves into a constructed setting it’s got a lot to offer. And it’s all very consistent! I’m not going to get into it here, but the setting’s magic system is one of the hardest and most unforgiving in its internal consistencies.
One area that’s caused no small amount of consternation over the years is Auldrant’s calendar. We know exactly how long it is (765 days per year), how many months there are (13), the number and names of the days of the week (7, and they have a naming convention following modern Japanese day names), and the current year (ND 2018). We also know from the game’s opening narration that it has an axial tilt, because Yulia’s Score specifies that the Hod War lasts “for a full cycle of the seasons.” It’s also definitely a solar calendar, as the number of days on the calendar is the same as Auldrant’s orbital period. The planet’s orbital period is a cheeky pun on the publisher’s name (765 can be read as “na-mu-ko”, and Namco uses it in other places). Most of the time, it’s relegated to the little bit of trivia that one Auldrantine year is more than two Earth years long. If you do the math, Jade is a little over 73 Earth years old – something he’d probably use to bolster his Old Man shtick if he knew about it.
What we don’t get, however, is any context for seasonality or even important holidays. The new year just… starts. When the game opens up on ND2018 Rem-Decan 23, Remday, there’s no sense that it’s been a little over three weeks since New Year’s Day. There’s no leftover party decorations. I can’t recall any NPC dialogue about starting a new year, though TBF it can be really easy to miss talking to one NPC. And the location of Baticul itself is not very helpful if we want to gather environmental context clues. The city’s latitude is either just inside the tropics or just outside of it, and we don’t get a great map projection to make that determination. The only, and most important, context clue we have from Baticul is that it’s located south of the equator.
Fortunately, Luke gets yeeted into Auldrant’s northern hemisphere about 15 minutes into a new game. And that’s where our context clues start to get interesting!
Over the course of the next couple of hours, we learn 3 things that help us peg the month of Rem-Decan to a season. 1, the forest north of the Cheagle Woods burned down. 2, that the Fubras River – a continent-spanning river that would make our modern Nile look like a drainage ditch if it was real – is at its lowest point for the year. And finally 3, that apples are in season. Stick a pin in that last one, because it’s actually the most important data point.
The other two support that the northern half of Rugnica – the largest of the continents – is experiencing a dry season. Forests aren’t usually tinderboxes unless there hasn’t been any rain in a while. A river, and especially a giant one like the Fubras, being at its low point means that its tributaries aren’t being fed with either rainwater or meltwater. Dry seasons aren’t exclusive to summers, though low water levels might point to a lack of snowpack at the far edges of the Fubras’ watershed. Without a watershed map, though, that’s just speculation on my part.
What isn’t speculative is that apples are in season in this part of the world. Luke falls ass-over-teakettle into the game’s plot when he steals one by accident from a fruit seller. It’s specifically an apple, and specifically one that’s freshly-picked from a local orchard. And that’s how we know that Auldrant’s northern hemisphere is experiencing summer.
If you don’t follow, here’s the implications: apples require something called “chill hours” in order to bear fruit. Chill hours are however many hours that a particular cultivar of apple tree needs to spend between 0-7ºC (32-45ºF) in order to get the hormonal signals necessary to bloom. Without experiencing these chill hours, apples (and several other fruit) don’t produce blossoms and, therefore, fruit. Once the bloom starts and the apple blossoms are pollinated, it takes several months to grow new apples. Assuming that they grow fruit at a speed proportional to apple trees on Earth, the earliest apples will ripen around the equivalent of late June or early July. Which means that in Auldrant’s northern hemisphere, the start of the new year is somewhere between the summer solstice and the autumnal equinox.
I’m now going to take a sharp turn into lorecrafting. If this is where you want to hop off, hop off. I’m going to show my work, but I don’t have any more facts to share. This is speculation, albeit evidence-supported speculation.
I think that the Auldrantine year is synced up to the seasons of the northern hemisphere, but inverted from Earth’s year in our northern hemisphere. I think that the start of the new year is on or around the summer solstice. And I think that because we know that the months at the start and end of the year are named after Rem/Lorelei. While the final month of the year, Lorelei-Decan, breaks the scheme a little, it’s preceded by Rem-Redecan. The first month of the year is Rem-Decan. And the very middle of the year is Shadow-Redecan.
I think
I think
that the order of the months is representative of the cycle of summer and winter in the north. The new year starts on the longest day of the year in the month named for the aggregate fonic sentience of Light. The months cycle through to Shadow-Decan and Shadow-Redecan, representing the loss of daylight and long nights of winter. If the summer solstice in the north is the first day of Rem-Decan, the winter solstice is Shadow-Redecan 35. The rest of the year cycles back to longer days, finally ending on the day before the summer solstice. For anyone wanting to keep track of them, the equinoxes are on Gnome-Decan 18 and Undine-Redecan 52. Whichever season it is in the north, remember that it’s the opposite one in the south. Baticul, Sheridan, and Belkend have seasons that are inverted from Daath, Grand Chokmah, and Yulia City.
There is. one. small problem with this, though. Since we have a detailed calendar, we also have canon birthdays for the playable characters. And there’s a lot of symbolism in choosing a day to assign to a character. I haven’t run all of the party through the paces, but I can say straight away that the 11th month of the year, at least in the north, is not a time in which the days grow shorter and the veil between life and death seems thin. It would be in the south! But in the north, the days would be longer than the nights and life would rapidly return to the land. It’s a time when early flowers bloom and the last vestiges of winter are withering in the sun.
What I’m saying is that our favorite asshole Necromancer wouldn’t have his birthday in the spooky time before the end of the year as shadows grow long and the chill of winter creeps in. He’d have been born in his springtime. Instead of being associated with autumnal gloom and the first frosts, he probably has to sit through Peony handing him a newly-weaned rappiglet on his birthday every year after shoving a flower crown on his head. He might be running out of ways to politely say that he doesn't want a pet. He certainly would have to consider ways to impolitely say that he doesn't want a pet, and how much trouble he would be in if he said them to his emperor's face. The closest he'd get to being spooky on his birthday is joking with the other army officers about being the harbinger of Allergy Season. He's seen more springtimes than Professor Nebilim ever did. There's always fresh flowers at the sanctuary when he gets his Score read. She would probably appreciate that more than he ever does.
As someone else who usually is writing the sort of random deep lore dives that nobody cares about, it's always a treat to see someone else doing the same thing!!
Speaking of volcanoes though, you're probably already aware but for everyone else out there, even the Abyss cast lampshades that little nonsensical bit of their world in skit 145...
Best Jade can do is go 'IDK the ~Sephiroth~' and that's funny. Even the writers were like 'shhh don't think about it, I already did and I don't have an answer'.
Ah, Abyss. Compared to most fictional worlds I've encountered out there, it truly does have a baffling degree of 'the writers were thinking about xyz beyond just the surface level' and other minute details in characters, huh? Whether it's politics or their magic system it's got a chunk of random facts, tidbits, and logic.
As part of my due diligence, I feel obligated to check in with a few other geologists that I know about the absolutely fucked state of plate tectonics on Auldrant. But I'm reasonably confident in saying that other volcanoes absolutely do exist. They have to. They may be dormant but they would have existed before Yulia and other Dawn Age people decided to float the planet's crust on a magic barrier. You can't have plate tectonics without volcanism goddamnit-
I've kinda decided to just imagine the Sephiroth as a giant complicated straw network that can funnel things (be they matter or fonon crud) from above and below and the Mt. Zaleho volcano was just the one that was properly hooked up to the straw outflow for where the magma in the mantle goes and the other connections kinda got messed up and the other volcanoes don't have their magma straw.
Speaking of, then there's the question of ' if they floated the whole thing in the air didn't the 'diameter' of the planet just get larger and if so how was it completely covered by that smaller sphere's land? Also, are there records that left scientists very confused about this ancient record says the diameter of the planet is x but our records say y, was it just a miscalculation despite their tech generally being more advanced???
We know that Auldrant is, take some, around 300 million square kilometers (presumably in surface area?)
The Earth from my little googling says it's 510 million sq.km in surface area. So is the Earth is about 50% bigger than Auldrant, then, in surface area?
Abyss things. They get specific about the most random stuff. They were not afraid to say numbers, for better or worse.
He - or rather, the writers - are off by about 10 million square kilometers. I'm approximating using a sphere and not a proper oblate spheroid (gasp!) to calculate surface area, but the Famitsu guide gives us a planetary diameter of 11,470 kilometers. Divide by half, plug that number into good ol' A = 4πr^2, and you get 413,311,000 square kilometers. Auldrant is smaller than Earth, but not that much smaller.
Also according to the Famitsu guide, the Outer Lands were raised up by about 30 kilometers. That's not a lot in the grand scheme of things, but unless the Sephiroth dividing line is actively pushing up the planet's atmosphere, the air is going to get thin. Really, really, lethally thin.
Hi. I’m Grace. I occasionally post my wild-ass worldbuilding/lorecrafting hypotheses here. I’ve tapered off ever since I quit WoW, but Azeroth was not my first love. It’s probably not even my third or fourth. My first love – by which I mean the kind of strained love of someone you care deeply about even though they have got to get their personal life together – is Auldrant. This fuckin’ planet. I won’t blame it for how or why I pursued geosciences as my field of study, but my fascination with it grew as I learned more about earth sciences. I say “fascination” rather than “appreciation” because whenever I chase some detail around I find something that looks pretty dang accurate at a glance and horrifyingly wrong at the second and third.
And there’s quite a lot of detail to chase! Out of all of the settings of the Tales games, Auldrant has the most comprehensively-documented facts and figures. I’m drawing primarily from the Famitsu Perfect guide for this, but there’s still a ton of ingame lore that a dedicated fan can document. It’s not quite on the same level as The Elder Scrolls, but it’s much more detailed in its worldbuilding than pretty much any game in its series. The history of the world gets tied very heavily into the story, such that understanding at least the broad strokes is essential to understanding the plot of the game. I don’t disagree that it creates a bit of a barrier to a new player, but for anyone who wants to really immerse themselves into a constructed setting it’s got a lot to offer. And it’s all very consistent! I’m not going to get into it here, but the setting’s magic system is one of the hardest and most unforgiving in its internal consistencies.
One area that’s caused no small amount of consternation over the years is Auldrant’s calendar. We know exactly how long it is (765 days per year), how many months there are (13), the number and names of the days of the week (7, and they have a naming convention following modern Japanese day names), and the current year (ND 2018). We also know from the game’s opening narration that it has an axial tilt, because Yulia’s Score specifies that the Hod War lasts “for a full cycle of the seasons.” It’s also definitely a solar calendar, as the number of days on the calendar is the same as Auldrant’s orbital period. The planet’s orbital period is a cheeky pun on the publisher’s name (765 can be read as “na-mu-ko”, and Namco uses it in other places). Most of the time, it’s relegated to the little bit of trivia that one Auldrantine year is more than two Earth years long. If you do the math, Jade is a little over 73 Earth years old – something he’d probably use to bolster his Old Man shtick if he knew about it.
What we don’t get, however, is any context for seasonality or even important holidays. The new year just… starts. When the game opens up on ND2018 Rem-Decan 23, Remday, there’s no sense that it’s been a little over three weeks since New Year’s Day. There’s no leftover party decorations. I can’t recall any NPC dialogue about starting a new year, though TBF it can be really easy to miss talking to one NPC. And the location of Baticul itself is not very helpful if we want to gather environmental context clues. The city’s latitude is either just inside the tropics or just outside of it, and we don’t get a great map projection to make that determination. The only, and most important, context clue we have from Baticul is that it’s located south of the equator.
Fortunately, Luke gets yeeted into Auldrant’s northern hemisphere about 15 minutes into a new game. And that’s where our context clues start to get interesting!
Over the course of the next couple of hours, we learn 3 things that help us peg the month of Rem-Decan to a season. 1, the forest north of the Cheagle Woods burned down. 2, that the Fubras River – a continent-spanning river that would make our modern Nile look like a drainage ditch if it was real – is at its lowest point for the year. And finally 3, that apples are in season. Stick a pin in that last one, because it’s actually the most important data point.
The other two support that the northern half of Rugnica – the largest of the continents – is experiencing a dry season. Forests aren’t usually tinderboxes unless there hasn’t been any rain in a while. A river, and especially a giant one like the Fubras, being at its low point means that its tributaries aren’t being fed with either rainwater or meltwater. Dry seasons aren’t exclusive to summers, though low water levels might point to a lack of snowpack at the far edges of the Fubras’ watershed. Without a watershed map, though, that’s just speculation on my part.
What isn’t speculative is that apples are in season in this part of the world. Luke falls ass-over-teakettle into the game’s plot when he steals one by accident from a fruit seller. It’s specifically an apple, and specifically one that’s freshly-picked from a local orchard. And that’s how we know that Auldrant’s northern hemisphere is experiencing summer.
If you don’t follow, here’s the implications: apples require something called “chill hours” in order to bear fruit. Chill hours are however many hours that a particular cultivar of apple tree needs to spend between 0-7ºC (32-45ºF) in order to get the hormonal signals necessary to bloom. Without experiencing these chill hours, apples (and several other fruit) don’t produce blossoms and, therefore, fruit. Once the bloom starts and the apple blossoms are pollinated, it takes several months to grow new apples. Assuming that they grow fruit at a speed proportional to apple trees on Earth, the earliest apples will ripen around the equivalent of late June or early July. Which means that in Auldrant’s northern hemisphere, the start of the new year is somewhere between the summer solstice and the autumnal equinox.
I’m now going to take a sharp turn into lorecrafting. If this is where you want to hop off, hop off. I’m going to show my work, but I don’t have any more facts to share. This is speculation, albeit evidence-supported speculation.
I think that the Auldrantine year is synced up to the seasons of the northern hemisphere, but inverted from Earth’s year in our northern hemisphere. I think that the start of the new year is on or around the summer solstice. And I think that because we know that the months at the start and end of the year are named after Rem/Lorelei. While the final month of the year, Lorelei-Decan, breaks the scheme a little, it’s preceded by Rem-Redecan. The first month of the year is Rem-Decan. And the very middle of the year is Shadow-Redecan.
I think
I think
that the order of the months is representative of the cycle of summer and winter in the north. The new year starts on the longest day of the year in the month named for the aggregate fonic sentience of Light. The months cycle through to Shadow-Decan and Shadow-Redecan, representing the loss of daylight and long nights of winter. If the summer solstice in the north is the first day of Rem-Decan, the winter solstice is Shadow-Redecan 35. The rest of the year cycles back to longer days, finally ending on the day before the summer solstice. For anyone wanting to keep track of them, the equinoxes are on Gnome-Decan 18 and Undine-Redecan 52. Whichever season it is in the north, remember that it’s the opposite one in the south. Baticul, Sheridan, and Belkend have seasons that are inverted from Daath, Grand Chokmah, and Yulia City.
There is. one. small problem with this, though. Since we have a detailed calendar, we also have canon birthdays for the playable characters. And there’s a lot of symbolism in choosing a day to assign to a character. I haven’t run all of the party through the paces, but I can say straight away that the 11th month of the year, at least in the north, is not a time in which the days grow shorter and the veil between life and death seems thin. It would be in the south! But in the north, the days would be longer than the nights and life would rapidly return to the land. It’s a time when early flowers bloom and the last vestiges of winter are withering in the sun.
What I’m saying is that our favorite asshole Necromancer wouldn’t have his birthday in the spooky time before the end of the year as shadows grow long and the chill of winter creeps in. He’d have been born in his springtime. Instead of being associated with autumnal gloom and the first frosts, he probably has to sit through Peony handing him a newly-weaned rappiglet on his birthday every year after shoving a flower crown on his head. He might be running out of ways to politely say that he doesn't want a pet. He certainly would have to consider ways to impolitely say that he doesn't want a pet, and how much trouble he would be in if he said them to his emperor's face. The closest he'd get to being spooky on his birthday is joking with the other army officers about being the harbinger of Allergy Season. He's seen more springtimes than Professor Nebilim ever did. There's always fresh flowers at the sanctuary when he gets his Score read. She would probably appreciate that more than he ever does.
As someone else who usually is writing the sort of random deep lore dives that nobody cares about, it's always a treat to see someone else doing the same thing!!
Speaking of volcanoes though, you're probably already aware but for everyone else out there, even the Abyss cast lampshades that little nonsensical bit of their world in skit 145...
Best Jade can do is go 'IDK the ~Sephiroth~' and that's funny. Even the writers were like 'shhh don't think about it, I already did and I don't have an answer'.
Ah, Abyss. Compared to most fictional worlds I've encountered out there, it truly does have a baffling degree of 'the writers were thinking about xyz beyond just the surface level' and other minute details in characters, huh? Whether it's politics or their magic system it's got a chunk of random facts, tidbits, and logic.
As part of my due diligence, I feel obligated to check in with a few other geologists that I know about the absolutely fucked state of plate tectonics on Auldrant. But I'm reasonably confident in saying that other volcanoes absolutely do exist. They have to. They may be dormant but they would have existed before Yulia and other Dawn Age people decided to float the planet's crust on a magic barrier. You can't have plate tectonics without volcanism goddamnit-
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Hi. I’m Grace. I occasionally post my wild-ass worldbuilding/lorecrafting hypotheses here. I’ve tapered off ever since I quit WoW, but Azeroth was not my first love. It’s probably not even my third or fourth. My first love – by which I mean the kind of strained love of someone you care deeply about even though they have got to get their personal life together – is Auldrant. This fuckin’ planet. I won’t blame it for how or why I pursued geosciences as my field of study, but my fascination with it grew as I learned more about earth sciences. I say “fascination” rather than “appreciation” because whenever I chase some detail around I find something that looks pretty dang accurate at a glance and horrifyingly wrong at the second and third.
And there’s quite a lot of detail to chase! Out of all of the settings of the Tales games, Auldrant has the most comprehensively-documented facts and figures. I’m drawing primarily from the Famitsu Perfect guide for this, but there’s still a ton of ingame lore that a dedicated fan can document. It’s not quite on the same level as The Elder Scrolls, but it’s much more detailed in its worldbuilding than pretty much any game in its series. The history of the world gets tied very heavily into the story, such that understanding at least the broad strokes is essential to understanding the plot of the game. I don’t disagree that it creates a bit of a barrier to a new player, but for anyone who wants to really immerse themselves into a constructed setting it’s got a lot to offer. And it’s all very consistent! I’m not going to get into it here, but the setting’s magic system is one of the hardest and most unforgiving in its internal consistencies.
One area that’s caused no small amount of consternation over the years is Auldrant’s calendar. We know exactly how long it is (765 days per year), how many months there are (13), the number and names of the days of the week (7, and they have a naming convention following modern Japanese day names), and the current year (ND 2018). We also know from the game’s opening narration that it has an axial tilt, because Yulia’s Score specifies that the Hod War lasts “for a full cycle of the seasons.” It’s also definitely a solar calendar, as the number of days on the calendar is the same as Auldrant’s orbital period. The planet’s orbital period is a cheeky pun on the publisher’s name (765 can be read as “na-mu-ko”, and Namco uses it in other places). Most of the time, it’s relegated to the little bit of trivia that one Auldrantine year is more than two Earth years long. If you do the math, Jade is a little over 73 Earth years old – something he’d probably use to bolster his Old Man shtick if he knew about it.
What we don’t get, however, is any context for seasonality or even important holidays. The new year just… starts. When the game opens up on ND2018 Rem-Decan 23, Remday, there’s no sense that it’s been a little over three weeks since New Year’s Day. There’s no leftover party decorations. I can’t recall any NPC dialogue about starting a new year, though TBF it can be really easy to miss talking to one NPC. And the location of Baticul itself is not very helpful if we want to gather environmental context clues. The city’s latitude is either just inside the tropics or just outside of it, and we don’t get a great map projection to make that determination. The only, and most important, context clue we have from Baticul is that it’s located south of the equator.
Fortunately, Luke gets yeeted into Auldrant’s northern hemisphere about 15 minutes into a new game. And that’s where our context clues start to get interesting!
Over the course of the next couple of hours, we learn 3 things that help us peg the month of Rem-Decan to a season. 1, the forest north of the Cheagle Woods burned down. 2, that the Fubras River – a continent-spanning river that would make our modern Nile look like a drainage ditch if it was real – is at its lowest point for the year. And finally 3, that apples are in season. Stick a pin in that last one, because it’s actually the most important data point.
The other two support that the northern half of Rugnica – the largest of the continents – is experiencing a dry season. Forests aren’t usually tinderboxes unless there hasn’t been any rain in a while. A river, and especially a giant one like the Fubras, being at its low point means that its tributaries aren’t being fed with either rainwater or meltwater. Dry seasons aren’t exclusive to summers, though low water levels might point to a lack of snowpack at the far edges of the Fubras’ watershed. Without a watershed map, though, that’s just speculation on my part.
What isn’t speculative is that apples are in season in this part of the world. Luke falls ass-over-teakettle into the game’s plot when he steals one by accident from a fruit seller. It’s specifically an apple, and specifically one that’s freshly-picked from a local orchard. And that’s how we know that Auldrant’s northern hemisphere is experiencing summer.
If you don’t follow, here’s the implications: apples require something called “chill hours” in order to bear fruit. Chill hours are however many hours that a particular cultivar of apple tree needs to spend between 0-7ºC (32-45ºF) in order to get the hormonal signals necessary to bloom. Without experiencing these chill hours, apples (and several other fruit) don’t produce blossoms and, therefore, fruit. Once the bloom starts and the apple blossoms are pollinated, it takes several months to grow new apples. Assuming that they grow fruit at a speed proportional to apple trees on Earth, the earliest apples will ripen around the equivalent of late June or early July. Which means that in Auldrant’s northern hemisphere, the start of the new year is somewhere between the summer solstice and the autumnal equinox.
I’m now going to take a sharp turn into lorecrafting. If this is where you want to hop off, hop off. I’m going to show my work, but I don’t have any more facts to share. This is speculation, albeit evidence-supported speculation.
I think that the Auldrantine year is synced up to the seasons of the northern hemisphere, but inverted from Earth’s year in our northern hemisphere. I think that the start of the new year is on or around the summer solstice. And I think that because we know that the months at the start and end of the year are named after Rem/Lorelei. While the final month of the year, Lorelei-Decan, breaks the scheme a little, it’s preceded by Rem-Redecan. The first month of the year is Rem-Decan. And the very middle of the year is Shadow-Redecan.
I think
I think
that the order of the months is representative of the cycle of summer and winter in the north. The new year starts on the longest day of the year in the month named for the aggregate fonic sentience of Light. The months cycle through to Shadow-Decan and Shadow-Redecan, representing the loss of daylight and long nights of winter. If the summer solstice in the north is the first day of Rem-Decan, the winter solstice is Shadow-Redecan 35. The rest of the year cycles back to longer days, finally ending on the day before the summer solstice. For anyone wanting to keep track of them, the equinoxes are on Gnome-Decan 18 and Undine-Redecan 52. Whichever season it is in the north, remember that it’s the opposite one in the south. Baticul, Sheridan, and Belkend have seasons that are inverted from Daath, Grand Chokmah, and Yulia City.
There is. one. small problem with this, though. Since we have a detailed calendar, we also have canon birthdays for the playable characters. And there’s a lot of symbolism in choosing a day to assign to a character. I haven’t run all of the party through the paces, but I can say straight away that the 11th month of the year, at least in the north, is not a time in which the days grow shorter and the veil between life and death seems thin. It would be in the south! But in the north, the days would be longer than the nights and life would rapidly return to the land. It’s a time when early flowers bloom and the last vestiges of winter are withering in the sun.
What I’m saying is that our favorite asshole Necromancer wouldn’t have his birthday in the spooky time before the end of the year as shadows grow long and the chill of winter creeps in. He’d have been born in his springtime. Instead of being associated with autumnal gloom and the first frosts, he probably has to sit through Peony handing him a newly-weaned rappiglet on his birthday every year after shoving a flower crown on his head. He might be running out of ways to politely say that he doesn't want a pet. He certainly would have to consider ways to impolitely say that he doesn't want a pet, and how much trouble he would be in if he said them to his emperor's face. The closest he'd get to being spooky on his birthday is joking with the other army officers about being the harbinger of Allergy Season. He's seen more springtimes than Professor Nebilim ever did. There's always fresh flowers at the sanctuary when he gets his Score read. She would probably appreciate that more than he ever does.
Just wanted to bring to your attention that the term whump was actually coined by the Stargate fandom specifically to describe making this guy suffer. He is the original Mr. Whump (no that's not his actual name). That's how torturable this guy is.
Everyone say mean things about him.
Here is a non exhaustive list of what he goes through in canon btw:
His parents get crushed to death right in front of him when he is a kid
He is forced to relive the memory of his parents death countless times
He dies and gets resurrected
His wife gets possessed
He fails to save her and she dies in his arms
He dies and gets resurrected again
He gets infected by a virus that makes him act crazy and gets put in an insane asylum
He dies and gets resurrected again
His ex gets possessed
He is exposed to a lethal dose of radiation
He dies and ascends to a higher plane, then gets kicked out of the higher plane and his memory is wiped
Daniel Jackson, the original woobie. God how I loved him. Between him and Blair Sandburg on The Sentinel, the hurt/comfort addicts were eating WELL off late 90's TV scifi.
This man is so heavily whumped in canon that when his actor had to have an appendectomy and the writers had to bench him for health reasons, it barely fazes him. They wrote Michael's injury into the show to explain why Daniel wasn't going to join in on the action sequences for a while. The opening of that episode has him casually chatting with Jack about it and being only mildly baffled over what had to have been a miserable and life-threatening experience. He's hanging out in the SGC infirmary like a VIP in an airport lounge. He doesn't get to help save one of Earth's best allies from one of SGC's most dangerous recurring enemies and he's slightly put out by that fact.
Luke fon Fabre is an outlier (largely indistinguishable from other humans, does not blame others for his existence) and has not been counted in this assessment.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I saw you on the Tales of the Abyss tag! Happy birthday! If it's not too late to ask, would you be willing to draw Anise and/or Ion being silly little goobers?
thank you so much for both the greeting and the request! i was so excited to get one from the tales of series (*´꒳`*)
i hope this was silly enough for your tastes! i decided to do a modern au, and i imagined that anise would be super into oshikatsu culture and gacha gaming (which i originally wanted to focus on, but i couldn't figure out how to properly express). ion is definitely a real living person in this au, but i thought it'd be interesting if anise was so skilled and motivated with needlework and doll-making that she'd have a collection of all her friends _(:3 」∠)_ hope you liked this!
If you look at the actual history of the decline of empires, in the vast majority of cases it's less an immediate implosion and more a decades-long slide into geopolitical irrelevance, so it's pretty likely nobody reading this post will live to see the ultimate Fall of the American Empire™, but there's value in being there at the start, too.
(Like, cities burning is a striking image, but in practice that almost never happens on its own, even in the case of open civil war. You generally need foreign invaders taking advantage of a faltering empire's weakness for that, and who exactly are we imagining is going to conduct a land invasion of a US in decline? Fucking Canada?)
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