Stay Puft

*gives you the bare minimum so that you rely on me but can't usurp me

*gives you a little bit extra one day because I can tell you're thinking about usurping me - it works - you become docile once again

sometimes i feel ive got to

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run away

you gotta watch out when theres an animal cause you literally might get sniffed

I am a huge fan of retiring to my quarters

In this economy you'll be lucky to retire to your nickels

She placebo on my effect til I feel like something happened

going on pinterest and commenting “hmm… i find this really.. pinteresting…!” on every single post i see

nsfw sideblogs r so funny. my friend we can't talk here it isn't safe.. we have to go to sex world together

a printer error is an attempt from god to get you to kill yourself but you must be stronger and you must must must beat the printer to death with a large object like object

I have a bisexual guppy and its funny as hell to watch because it seems like he’s only bi out of desperation. Like all of the female guppies are unimpressed by him, and dont accept his mating displays, and every time he fails, he goes over to a SPECIFIC male guppy (the prettiest male guppy in the tank) like PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE and that male guppy always lets him????

Been getting really into orange juice lately