Give End Meaning

I do not think it should need to be said, but unfortunately it absolutely is, that nobody should ever be forced to become pregnant, be a parent or carry a pregnancy to term. Ever. This requires both complete and total abortion rights & access but also the dismantling of the gendered expectation of women to want and need children. Remaining child free should not only be possible for women, it should also be normal and completely accepted. Anything else is oppressive.

However, I am deeply bothered by how many people who share these views talk about children. I have come across many posts describing children in cruel and dehumanizing ways, emphasizing how gross and terrible children are and how much of a burden they are to their parents. This, I think is also wrong.

Children are a particularly vulnerable population. They often have very little rights and autonomy and are at the whims of adults around them, which makes then particularly vulnerable to abuse. Children are real, fully realized people who have very specific needs and considerations. Constantly discussing how disgusting and terrible children are, means attacking people who have no power and cannot defend themselves, legally or otherwise. These views cannot be separated from calls to remove children from public life, like parks and transportation, the practice of which is both dehumanizing and oppressive. This goes hand in hand with the gendered oppression of women who are unfortunately still often the primary caregivers of children. Forcing children out of the public sphere means forcing mothers out of it too. And the right to not have children needs to go hand in hand with the right to have children. Women need abortion rights and access but they also need the right and access to give birth for free. They need robust childcare and child & family friendly infrastructure. Otherwise the only people who can afford to have children are wealthy elites.

It gives her a sense of peace and purpose I guess. Which is good, she’s been struggling to find that with her injuries and condition. She’s learning skills, and feeling prepared for “the worst”. Like I can’t get her to stop watching conspiracy theory bullshit on YouTube so at least this kind of content alleviates some of the anxiety the other content amplifies, because she feels like she can do something now to secure her safety later.

But to get through these conversations, I have to tell myself— hey, if natural disaster comes our way, some of this might be useful. But I know she’s not just thinking a big storm or natural disaster. She’s preparing for the collapse of society. And I don’t know how to break it to her that we wouldn’t survive that. You can make long lasting candles with crisco? Cool. Where you going to by crisco when society collapses? You’ll stock up now? Ok cool. What will you do when it runs out? Honestly, before it runs out, what will you do when people with guns come to take your various stockpiled supplies?

If we hit a point where society collapses, we’re done for. Food, medicine, etc. we can’t survive without society, without a world where people are working together trying to help each other out.

Get her into a fibercraft. Sewing, knit, crochet. Because here’s the thing:

At first, you can pitch it as “we’re all still gonna need clothes and these idiots with their doomsday bunkers can’t even thread a needle.” But after awhile—let this take a bit of time, not so long that she gets bored but long enough that she’s like “I’ve DONE this already”—introduce her to a slightly more advanced concept. She was practicing on circle skirts? Check out how to make darts. Crochet blankets? There are SO MANY cool stitches.

And then when the craft has a decent grip as a hobby….THEN you introduce her to a crafting social group.

So I started casually mentioning i wanted to do Search and Rescue- knowing my father is incredibly competitive and will try and out do me.

I was all "but we can't rely on the government to find people!"

Now he has been on 6 different tours in the US. He is a field commander and the most successful in state history.

He independently made a partnership with a Black and Missing coalition and partners with them on searches for Black Ohio and.

He called me the other day so proud he has " a Trans and a nonbinary whatever that is" on his search team. So is he perfect? No. But now he isn't toting a gun around and threatening people.

He's getting better. Sure he built a secret bunker in the basement. But he's recovered multiple bodies and reunited people with loved ones.

Sure we still can't have a conversation without him divulging into some bigoted speak here and there.

But he's been lead in recovering teens trafficked from our state and successfully recovered them in Georgia in 10 hours.

Sure he isn't perfect. But he didn't fall completely and maybe he will become even better on his own.

there is very little community for non-churchgoing white folks.

There is such a push in white culture to get your kids out the door and settled in their own home after you've raised them nearly exclusively alone for 20 years. Your work friends are your work friends. You retire and they don't see you anymore.

You don't go to church? All of the church groups don't see you.

Because the prevalent culture among white people is go it alone. If you're lucky and not divorced, you get your partner, but usually the go it alone is so pervasive that even working as a team with one other person is usually too hard, not to mention the stress of only having one person and how you have no place to vent about that person when needed (and everyone sometimes needs to vent about their loved ones no matter how good the relationship.)

So you get to this place where your culture has led you and you have grown-up kids, no spouse, no friends, and a whole lot of undefinable resentment about your life that you're not supposed to feel.

And this person on youtube comes along and says "Fuck them all, society will collapse any day now."

And you nod along in agreement.

But if you have a hobby, and start making friends from that hobby?

Suddenly that support system vents all of those icky building resentments and you can depend on people and make friends and have relationships and the world doesn't feel so bad.

But I just saw a video of a TT user explaining that they decided to do their own little social experiment — by walking up to drug dealers on the street, telling them there's a young woman with a baby who needs help with formula, and literally all of them immediately reached into their pockets. In this story, the OP did have a real neighbor with a baby who ended up getting some much needed baby supplies. Thanks to the charity of local drug dealers.

One of my favourite illustrations of this was in a First Aid class. The instructor was a working paramedic. He asked, “Who here knows the stats on CPR? What percentage of people are saved by CPR outside a hospital?”

I happen to know but I’m trying not to be a TOTAL know it all in this class so I wait. And people guess 50% and he says, “Lower,” and 20% and so forth and eventually I sort of half put up my hand and I guess I had The Face because he eventually looked at me and said, “You know, don’t you.”

“My mom’s a doc,” I said. He gave me a “so say it” gesture and I said, “Four to ten percent depending on your sources.”

Everyone else looked surprised and horrified.

And the paramedic said, “We’re gonna talk a bit about some details of those figures* but first I want to talk about just this: when do you do CPR?”

The class dutifully replies: when someone is unconscious, not breathing, and has no pulse.

“What do we call someone who is unconscious, not breathing, and has no pulse?”

The class tries to figure out what the trick question is so I jump over the long pause and say, “A corpse.”

“Right,” says the paramedic. “Someone who isn’t breathing and has no heartbeat is dead. So what I’m telling you is that with this technique you have a 4-10% chance of raising the dead.”

So no, artists did not stop the Vietnam War from happening with the sheer Power of Art. The forces driving that military intervention were huge, had generations of momentum and are actually pretty damn complicated.

But if you think the mass rejection of the war was as meaningless as a soufflé - well.

Try sitting here for ten seconds and imagining where we’d be if the entire intellectual and artistic drive of the culture had been FOR the war. If everyone thought it was a GREAT IDEA.

What the whole world would look like.

Four-to-ten percent means that ninety to ninety-six percent of the time - more than nine times out of ten - CPR will do nothing, but that one time you’ll be in the company of someone worshipped as an incarnate god.

If you think the artists and performers attacking and showing up people like Donald Trump is meaningless try imagining a version of the world wherein they weren’t there.

Yes, it’s just a pie. Yes, the pie itself doesn’t do much direct damage in the grand scheme of things. But the pie is resistance, and resistance inspires resistance. Resistance inspires survival. Throwing pies sometimes starts a movement. Throwing pies sometimes saves lives.

And of course, we haven’t spoken about the inherent morality of throwing pies at oppressors in a world where oppressors have outlawed pie throwing. At the very least, pie throwing is a reminder to the oppressors that no matter how much money they have, no matter how much power they have, there are still some people, some moments they can’t control.

(Imagine a King being reduced to this...🙄)

In J.R.R. Tolkien's The Hobbit, Thorin himself describes the hardships faced by the exiled Dwarves of Erebor:

"We went away, and we have had to earn our livings as best we could up and down the lands, often sinking as low as blacksmith-work or even coal-mining."