ㅤ ꉂ bat, the cursed. the biter. the wrathful. twenty ◠ scorpio ◠ shifter since 2020 ◠ south asian ◠ she/they ◠ buddhist
ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ꉂ written by r.f kuang ◠ wired earphones ◠ francisco goya's black paintings ◠ mint chocolate ◠ comics ◠ pineapple with chili powder ◠ the smell of old books & rain ◠ vanilla scented everything ◠ weird girl beauty ◠ body worship ◠ bird bat watching ◠ sleeping in dark rooms ◠ a cruel man's favourite daughter
𝖦𝖮𝖱𝖤 𝖬𝖤 𝖳𝖧𝖱𝖮𝖴𝖦𝖧 𝖳𝖧𝖤 𝖧𝖤𝖠𝖱𝖳
ㅤ ꉂ about me. desired realities. pinterest. tiktok.
BYF, minors are open to follow but i may not respond to messages/interact with anyone below sixteen. i do not interact with ageless blogs. i do not mind if we share the same s/o — please just be respectful.
DNF, anti-shifters, race changers. racists, transphobes/terfs, anti-lgbtq+, zionists. trump/elon supporters. dni if you shift for tim drake, peter maximoff, park sunghoon, ken 'draken' ryuguji, mail 'matt' jeevas or mihael 'mello' keehl — they are the only s/os i'm not comfortable sharing.
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BIRTHDAY POST FOR TOMMY in my portland romcom reality,, as well as the comments left by him and some of our friends!!
colormecharmed ♫ The 1975・About You
❤︎ 285 🗨️ 37 「 」 5 ➤ 3
Liked by lilianevans and others colormecharmed it’s the love of my life’s birthday. he’s 18 and officially a predator🤞😋 lmao no but this man has brought so much joy into my life and has retaught me how much i deserve and what love really is. i’ll forever be grateful to him. can’t wait to celebrate this day with him until we’re old and grey idcidc 👩❤️💋👨💕🫶 tomshep.com there’s no one else i’d want to light my birthday candles for me year after year. i love you so much beautiful 😫💗 billiamshep you two are my favorite straight couple 🙂↕️🙂↕️
6 hours ago
Comments
tomshep.com 6h · ❤︎ by author — there’s no one else i’d want to light my birthday candles for me year after year. i love you so much beautiful 😫💗
colormecharmed 6h ─── @️tomshep.com i love you sm gorgeous! the stars know your name because i love you to every universe and back 💕🫶
tomshep.com 6h · ❤︎ by author ─── @️colormecharmed AGDJSHDJFJFJ
billiamshep 5h · ❤︎ by author — you two are my favorite straight couple 🙂↕️🙂↕️
kaatebiishop 5h · ❤︎ by author ─── @️billiamshep WOW okay… not sure i can argue with that i guess but… damn 🙄😒
billiamshep 4h · ❤︎ by author ─── @️kaatebiishop you and eli are my second favorite!!
lilianevans 6h · ❤︎ by author — happy birthday to thaïsa hermès’ boyfriend!! …can’t seem to remember his name 🫤😔💔
tomshep.com 6h · ❤︎ by author ─── @️lilianevans i don’t need to be known as anything else!
speakmycassielang.uage 4h · ❤︎ by author — do you want me to hit up how to catch a predator?
colormecharmed 4h ─── @️speakmycassielang.uage no… i can handle him
tomshep.com 4h · ❤︎ by author ─── @️colormecharmed please do 😋
speakmycassielang.uage 3h · ❤︎ by author ─── @️tomshep.com ew…
MEMOS!! The happiest of birthdays to the love of my life!! This is a big and beautiful day because I said soooo 🤗🤗 Celebrate Tommy Shepherd today if you can!!
A DIARY ENTRY FOR my brother’s best friend reality,, or just me sorting out my feelings ( 1.4K words: ~5:10 min read )
THIS’LL BE QUICK… I think at least. I hope. But depending on how much I start to spew out over this whole situation I may write too god damn much. My mom always told me if you have no one to talk to, talk to yourself. Create an environment where you can at least trust one person, yourself. So when Lily wasn’t around growing up, or I was—for some reason—too scared to talk to her about something right away. I would write. In a notebook, in my notes app, anywhere I could. And I’m doing that now. Lily should be getting back to our dorm within the hour. And she will be a listening ear for me when that time comes. But there’s just so much I need to unpack, and my mind’s a mess at the moment.
Today, an hour ago, on Tuesday September 27, 2022, Tommy came to my room. After nearly 4 full days of not talking to him, and truthfully all out avoiding him, since Friday night. He came to my room. I was avoiding him because I was scared. SOMETHING HAPPENED THAT FRIDAY NIGHT. I had thought he was coming in for a kiss, so I went to kiss him back, only for him to pull away suddenly right as I did. I don’t remember a lot of what I was feeling in that moment. I think I was genuinly running on the adrenaline of my horror. If you’re me, with a many year long crush on your family friend, that kind of rejection is probably on equal par to finding out the zombie apocalypse is starting. I just started running away from him… well more so speed walking away. Rushing to get back to my room, get back to Lily. All I could think of was her as I silently let my tears fall down my cheeks. She’s been there through nearly all of the Tommy Shepherd related heartbreaks. This would be no different. At the time I thought he pulled away because he was absolutely disgusted with the fact I tried to kiss him. For those four days after, I kept thinking he knew about my feelings for him. AND I WAS TOO TERRIFIED TO FACE HIM. He kept texting me that he wanted to talk. I thought he was gonna let me down easy, and no part of me was ready for that intense of heartbreak, despite the fact I was already stewing in that grief. I don’t think I could’ve taken hearing, and not just inferring, it from him.
THEN TOMMY SHOWED UP TO MY DORM TODAY. Lily tried to get him to leave. She opened the door for me before I knew who it was. Apparently she ran into him at a dining hall on campus and he tried asking her how I was. Then tried bringing up the idea of him stopping by. While she lied about my wellbeing, she immediately shut down his idea. It didn’t seem to stop him though. He sounded so weak at the door, so sad. It was tugging at my heartstrings. I’ve always had a soft spot for Tommy Shepherd. Always. Lily really tried to get him to leave, but he kept insisting he would stay until I told him to leave myself. And I know he knew that I couldn’t bare to do that. He knew that he was my weakness, especially when he himself sounded so distraught on the other side of the door. I told her to let him in, she did, and then she left so we could talk. And we did.
He tried apologizing, which confused me. So I tried apologizing instead, which confused him. THAT WAS THE FIRST HINT THAT SOMETHING WAS OFF about both of our interpretations with what happened. Tommy began to explain himself. He said that he was drunk. He shouldn’t have stepped over the line with me. He never wants to make me uncomfortable like that. And all of that explaining lifted a weight off my shoulders and then sunk that same one down into my gut. I realized that he didn’t know I tried to kiss him back, he had no idea about my feelings for him. He just thought I ran away that night because he almost kissed me, and I was made uncomfortable by that fact. He didn’t pull away from me because I tried to kiss him. But because he thought better of kissing me. And that it was the alcohol that made him almost kiss me. While it was what little sobriety he had left that made him think better of it. I felt nauseous at the wonder of whether he would have kissed me if I was any other girl in that scenario. I COULD FEEL THE ANXIETY RIPPING AT MY STOMACH OVER ALL OF IT. Of the unreciprocity of it all. But I also felt relief that I could still hide my feelings from him for longer. Or forever if they’ll never go away like I fear. And I felt relief that he didn’t know this one specific intimate part of myself, that I was terrified for him to be privy to.
I COULD FEEL THE COMPLEX EMOTIONS RAVAGING THROUGH ME. But the grief stayed a focal point of my mind. He could hear it in my voice even when I accepted his apology. I told him I forgave him so he would stop apologizing for not kissing me—when I wish he would have—as if it was a crime against humanity. The more he rambled on about his apologies the more I was reminded he didn’t want me and I was tired of thinking about it. So I forgave him. Which was easy because I didn’t feel I needed to. I was never upset at him. Just too scared to face him. Not like he knew that or why. And I didn’t want him to. So I apologized to him. When he asked me if I was okay when my apology wavered as it came out, like I was going to cry. I just kept lying. No part of me was going to trip and fall into confessing something I spent four days petrified was already found out. He believes me when I tell him everything is good between us again. Because it’s not entirely untrue. BUT THEN HE ASKS ME IF WE CAN CALL AGAIN, like we have been the past month. Then more shockingly he asks me if “…we could go out somewhere together.” And it sounds almost like a date. And it’s just so confusing. Being hounded about how much he regrets something so romantic from almost occurring just to ask if he could “take me” somewhere in the most romantic fucking phrasing.
I don’t really know how to feel. SO MUCH HAPPENED AT ONCE. So much I felt. So much I learned. With everything considered, there’s a few things I know for fact. ONE; I still love Tommy Shepherd despite his lack of romantic feelings for me. I will probably love Tommy Shepherd for years to come. And every relationship I get into during those years will be spent yearning after someone I can not have. Dreaming of someone who is not mine. And wishing for things to be different. TWO; This will not kill me. Or at least my life will not end from this killing me. It’ll hurt. But it has hurt many times before. And I’ve gotten through it every single time. Lily is a big factor in that, for sure. But in some fucked up way, Tommy has gotten me through it too. Because he still loves me. Maybe not in the way I fully want. But we’ve been bordering on something romantic for years. Enough for my friends to think he feels something. It’s like getting mini micro doses of the one drug I need to live. It may not be a full 35mg of the Tommy brand of coke I need. But he gives me enough to get by. And it staves off the pain. He himself has the power to distract me from the pain he unknowingly causes me. And that fact is honestly a little bit sick and twisted. AND FINALLY; Tommy is picking me up from my dorm room at 3 PM tomorrow. He’s taking me somewhere. That somewhere is a surprise that he is definitely aware of because he’s, and I quote, “been thinking up ideas for a while now.” Help.
Hi may I ask why you are against race changing (In shifting not RCTA)
No intention to be offensive just asking your opinion!
Have a good day.
Hello dear! I’m sorry it took me a bit to respond to this. I wanted to make sure I had everything that I wanted to say down lol but thank you and I hope you have a nice day as well <3
I honestly think both things you mentioned go hand in hand with each other. I had a video that explained it really well but unfortunately that video is no longer up so I’m going to try to explain what I remember from it and also link some other well written opinions on this topic :)
now, in the shifting community I often see people say shifting & manifestation are one in the same thing and in a way I do agree that it is. there are different ways and methods people use in order to get or become aware of something they want whether it’s through LOA (both), saying something with intention once, using repetition, saturation, spells associated with witchcraft, subliminals & etc.
However, I think two things can be true at once and that is both shifting & manifesting being the same AND also different from each other. a good example in this case that I’ve seen recently is someone who manifested a different hair pattern in this reality. they also provided picture proof which was very cool seeing how they made that physical change without necessarily becoming aware of another reality (at least through our perspective)
now, from the video I saw (that explains it much better than I will lol) it talked about race changing and it questioned something along the lines of “if race changing is really ok through shifting then why is RCTA seen as bad if a person can just manifest being that said race?”. especially since shifting & manifestation are seen as one in the same thing. it’s becoming aware of something you supposedly “already are” or claim to be.
there are many people and celebrities who claim to be different races and YES usually I would mention oli london BUT I want to dive into a different individual for this specific topic. there is a white woman who identifies as a black woman known as Rachel Dolezal. She claims herself as black although she was born to two very white parents. I’m also gonna link this video as well just for more info if you or anyone else is curious.
now let’s think for a moment, if this woman was a shifter would it be ok for her to shift and be a black woman since on a multiversal level she’s always been black in another reality? or could she manifest being black here since again, shifting & manifestation go hand in hand with one another and reality can “change” constantly through parallels little by little or as quick as the snap of your finger. what is the true difference of RCTA being obviously seen as wrong but not race changing when it comes to shifting/manifesting. if someone decided through shifting “I wanna go be black, asian, hispanic & etc” how is it any different from someone involved with RCTA here especially if they’re involved with it for many years and can basically manifest being it. why is it seen as “not real” or less valid than it is with shifting although they basically go hand in hand when it comes to being aware of a specific life identity?
she claims to love black culture & the people she’s been around, says shes an activist for black people and feels out of place being white therefore she identifies as a black woman. she claims to be respectful and not doing black face by connecting with all of that although she is. so why is it seen as ok when it comes to shifting? people like to say they’re shifting to learn more about said race or they’re “appreciating the culture” or it’s because we are so pretty that you wanna look like us. but you can do that and appreciate us WITHOUT being disrespectful and overstepping like our race or other races are temporary costumes.
some people like to say that race changing isn’t wrong because “you’ve been that race all along” but that isn’t true. we are not only shaped by our experiences in society from the moment we are born but also from what is passed down from our ancestors through dna. I say this because in my community we have a lot of generational trauma we still deal with as african americans which is linked to epigenetics. if someone was truly a race they claim from the start they wouldn’t have to go through the trouble of picking a specific race faceclaim that actually belongs to someone else who ACTUALLY knows what it’s like to be a person of color and be shaped by those specific life experiences, generational trauma & etc unlike someone who (for whatever stupid reason) tries choosing it.
It honestly reminds me of this one character who is a white woman known as christina from lovecraft country who used magic to experience the exact same thing Emmett Till did. but even with that she will never know an ounce of the trauma, fear and abuse that he faced as a black person. same applies to shifters who say they want to experience what poc went or go through to “better understand” us when in reality they’ll never know the full scope of it like we do. idc who you are or what you think, you can NEVER truly live life the way we do or ever truly 100% get us.
now from a spiritual perspective of also why I’m against race changing, I tend to talk to my spirit guides often or the deities I’m in association with on this topic. fun fact, I learned that when we all incarnate we actually don’t get to choose our race. now, I personally trust higher educated beings who have a better grasp on these things than humans do. I don’t like the narrow minded views I’ve seen a lot of people have especially when they aren’t considerate of poc and our feelings, it’s just very insensitive and disrespectful overall. I also don’t like it when some people act as if race changing isn’t a big deal but it really is. the ones who think otherwise just haven’t taken the time to understand why it is. I also know that we aren’t just connected to our ancestors by dna (also noting back to epigenetics as well again) but we are also connected with them through our souls and both of those things interlink with each other very deeply.
also me personally I refuse to believe that I need to be a different race in order to learn about cultures, experiences, societal treatment of others & etc because that’s very limiting and will just never be true. I also appreciate other people & their cultures without having the need to be them physically, like I don’t wanna be a sheep lol. when I say sheep I mean I don’t have to make myself fit in anywhere like another identical puzzle piece. I can be myself, share my culture, my story, my ancestors stories and just overall share who I TRULY am and where/who I come from with so many other people. basically exchanging who each of us are as individuals because it’s beautiful intertwining with other people like that and each of us recognizing the other. appreciating one another without being so obsessed with wanting or needing to be their same physical reflection.
I suppose to finish off this very long explanation, I said I’d link some other viewpoints that can also be helpful as to why I’m against race changing (especially as a black woman who is very prideful of who she is and where she comes from) so here they are :) these are very educated individuals who I follow (and am mutuals with girlfanged, hey mootie!) and they are amazing and very articulate in their explanations so I hope it provides more understanding for you.
also if anyone else has read this far thank you! I’m not the best as explaining things so it’s very much appreciated!
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axl and i don't ever marry in my sitcom dr but having grown up w sue and everything, i feel like i'm practically an in law to the hecks. mrs. heck says so herself 🤓 lowkey i'm just there for the women of that household. ily sue and mrs. heck!!!
Upon arriving at SESAME STREET. Dany gets into her place and notices a teddy bear and a note saying, "Welcome! I hope you have fun!" on the teddy bear. It was a note given by little red Elmo.
MY HOUSE IS ON PRETTY GIRL AVENUE...
Dany lives on Sesame Street to spread kindness and teach children like Elmo, Abby, and Zoe. She teaches children on wisdom & the arts in her school near her place on Sesame Street. Abby is her favorite student cause of her magic and reads fairytales to her, teaching her more about the life of princesses like her. Elmo is the kindest friend of all, he sometimes doesn't have all the skills or knowledge but it doesn't stop him, his optimistic skills are an enrichment to sesame street, it's Elmo's World! Zoe is one of the smartest children she teaches, her imagination can create silly solutions and inventions to problems or even getting away with problems, she loves making silly noises to make her friends laugh.
Dany teaches children about spreading kindness and the ethics of principle on what's right or wrong in a world full of toxic children being like "their idols". Her house on Sesame Street is a home for all children cause there are fun activities like drawing, painting, writing, and reading stories to children. She helps Julia with her differences and whenever she's overstimulated, she can take a break whenever there's noise that overstimulates her like an ambulance, and she gives her Fluster (Julia's plushy), she paints with her in silence which she finds beautiful.
Dany sometimes hangouts with Bert & Ernie with her husband Benjamin. Her husband Benjamin owns a comic bookstore on Sesame Street called "Hot Sauce" named after his old improv troupe. She and Benjamin are known for their banter & teaching children with hand puppets called "Jack" & "Jill" in her school.
THANK YOUUUUU MY DEAR 😼💌💌💌 I answered that one (🎸) question here !!!
⌞ 💐 ⌝ LIVIN’ IT UP ON TOP — tell us about a celebration in your dr! what was it for? what did you do? you could make a moodboard or curate a playlist for the occasion!
💐 : It wasn't exactly what I did, but something that happened to me. when I was saved by spiderman (yes, still without knowing his identity), my family wanted to celebrate my life. this comes from a memory I had and it still makes me emotional. my parents are very sensitive and loving, especially my mother, so when they found out what had happened and that I was okay, they were like, "no, we have to celebrate you being alive and well," and then they took my sister and me to a pizzeria where we ate so much that we all came back with our bellies too full LOL I feel like it was the most fun night we've had as a family in a long time. It was also there that my dad (a police officer) changed his mind about spiderman. he was like, "he's my best friend now, he saved my daughter." 😭
. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.
⌞ ❤️ ⌝ ALL I’VE EVER KNOWN — when did you first realise you were falling for your s/o? was it something they said or did? who said i love you first?
❤️ : I fear the answer will be the same in every dr lmao. I don't even know how to explain it, but whenever I think about the moment we reunited after years (since we're childhood friends to lovers, but he moved away when we were still little) I feel a sensation that oscillates between euphoria and calm. It's as if the way he makes me feel when we're together is the main attraction. It's like I don't feel exactly nervous or anxious around him, but calm and happy in a way that no one had ever made me feel before. maybe it's because our sense of humor is the same or something, but I think I started to notice this feeling and think, "okay, I like this feeling that only he gives me, I want this forever" and then, "oh..." yk? I've said this many times, it's the way he moves, the way he's just himself. It's really crazy to explain.
he was the one who said "I love you" first. he was just there, explaining to me why we couldn't be together, why it was so dangerous, and then he casually dropped that in the middle of his explanation. I was like, "hm? what did you say?" and he repeated it, saying that this sums it all up... I think at that moment I almost turned into a bomb and exploded.
jason.todd44 you turning into a leprechaun??
laylajay mayhaps
theodior getting a tattoo without me is absurd
laylajay don't break my heart 💔
royy__harp chat might've gone to chicago
laylajay lame-o
&
jason.todd44
↗ everclear · santa monica
ᰔ 229 ✧ 7 ›
jason.todd44 water was pretty
laylajay somethin calm somethin slight
jason.todd44 enough 🥀
royy__harp bro talking abt water with only 1 pic of it
tomshep.com thanks for saving me from drowning that one time
&
royy__harp
↗ dominic fike · white keys
ᰔ 1,039 ✧ 19 ›
royy__harp ☀️
tomshep.com yo aren't you the one that got that lifeguard certification
liked by creator
laylajay now who you feelin like w ts
royy__harp 🤏🤏🤏
laylajay oh helllll nahhhhh
jason.todd44 so tuff twin
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Anya is LIVE right now
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RIPPING THROUGH EVERY POEM — like a vampire should
AND IT TAKES ONE
TO KNOW 'EM
—like i knew you would!
VARIANTS — malia tate, violet harmon, jo march, beth harmon, stephen strange, abby jones, harry potter, karen sirko, alina starkov, ian gallagher, rue bennett, jules vaughn, violet evergarden, lauren sinclair, tim drake, laura kinney, elizabeth afton, gregory eddie.
hi! u reblogged this so i was super curious to ask about ur figure skating romance dr — ( 🔮 PROPHECY , 🛡️ RIDE OR DIE , 📖 STORYBOOK , 🔑 ONE LAST GIFT )
⊹ 🔮 PROPHECY — ✶ do you have a special role or purpose in your dr world?
❅˚࿔ honestly i'm not sure how to answer this lmfao. all considering this is more like a romance dr based off of heated rivalry.
so to answer, probably just someone important to my country due to my skills and reputation in figure skating.
⊹ 🛡️ RIDE OR DIE — ✶ who would go to battle for you in your dr? who would you protect at all costs?
❅˚࿔ other than kyeom, probably my family tbh. without hesitation. not loudly, but decisively, the kind of protection that ends conflicts before they begin. my brother would stand at my side and my parents would be standing behind me.
but me? i protect in a smaller, sharper ways. i would burn the world down quietly for the few i choose — and for Lee Kyeom-eun, i wouldn’t hesitate at all.
⊹ 📖 STORYBOOK — ✶ if your dr was a book, what would the title be?
❅˚࿔ FROSTLINE: ice waltz. or The Space Between Edges
a story about control, restraint, and everything that exists in the moments before impact — where the real decisions are made, and where i live.
⊹ 🔑 ONE LAST GIFT — ✶ if you could bring something from your dr to your cr, what would it be?
❅˚࿔ literally just my skills for ice skating lmfao. or my control. the ability to walk into any room, read it instantly, and remain entirely my own.
here's a curt assemblage of questions for your dr life, reality, and existence. use it for yourself, or ask me something via sending an ask with the corresponding emoji / prompt + a reality.
✶ my drs... ;
¹ ˙𖦹 *∴ THE WORLD
⊹ 🏙️ HOME SWEET HOME — ✶ what does your home look like in your dr?
⊹ ⏳ TIME TRAVELER — ✶ what’s the time period or era of your dr? is it different from your cr?
⊹ 🔮 PROPHECY — ✶ do you have a special role or purpose in your dr world?
⊹ ⏰ MORNING ROUTINE — ✶ what’s the first thing you do when you wake up in your dr?
⊹ 🍽️ BON APPÉTIT — ✶ what’s a typical meal in your dr country/locale? what’s your favorite food there?
⊹ 🛍️ TREAT YOURSELF — ✶ what’s the coolest thing you own in your dr that you don’t have in your cr?
⊹ 🏛️ GRAND DESIGN — ✶ what is the core foundation of your dr? is it a utopia, a dystopia, a world of magic, or something entirely different?
⊹ 🔭 PARALLEL WORLDS — ✶ what is the biggest difference between your cr and your dr?
⊹ ⏳ TIMELESS WONDER — ✶ how does time work in your dr? is it linear, fluid, or something else entirely?
⊹ 🔮 FATED CONNECTIONS — ✶ do you believe your dr has a deeper purpose for you? if so, what is it?
² ˙𖦹 *∴ THE LOVER
⊹ 💌 SECRET ADMIRER — ✶ do you have a crush or romantic interest in your dr? how did you meet?
⊹ 🎶 SHARED PLAYLIST — ✶ what song reminds you of a special relationship in your dr?
⊹ 🩷 FAMILY BONDS — ✶ who do you consider family in your dr? are they different from your cr family?
⊹ 🕊️ SOULMATE THEORY — ✶ do you believe you have a soulmate in your dr? have you met them yet?
⊹ 🛡️ RIDE OR DIE — ✶ who would go to battle for you in your dr? who would you protect at all costs?
⊹ 💞 HEARTSTRINGS — ✶ who is the most important person in your dr?
⊹ 💌 LOVE LETTERS — ✶ who is your biggest love interest in your dr? how did you meet?
⊹ 🏹 STAR-CROSSED — ✶ is there a love story in your dr that feels like destiny? doesn't have to be yours.
⊹ 🕊️ FOUND FAMILY — ✶ do you have a family in your dr? are they different from your cr family?
⊹ 🏰 PARTNERS IN CRIME — ✶ who is the person you trust the most in your dr?
⊹ 💔 GHOST OF THE PAST — ✶ have you experienced loss or heartbreak in your dr?
³ ˙𖦹 *∴ THE FOOL
⊹ 🪞 MIRROR MIRROR — ✶ what do you look like in your dr? do you look the same or different from your cr?
⊹ 📖 STORYBOOK — ✶ if your dr was a book, what would the title be?
⊹ 🎬 MOVIE NIGHT — ✶ if your dr had a theme song or soundtrack, what would it be?
⊹ 💼 WORK & PLAY — ✶ do you have a job, hobby, or passion in your dr? what’s your daily routine like?
⊹ 🎭 ALTER EGO — ✶ how different is your dr self from your cr self?
⊹ 🏠 SAFE HAVEN — ✶ where do you go when you need peace and quiet in your dr?
⊹ 🏕️ WEEKEND GETAWAY — ✶ what’s your favorite thing to do in your free time in your dr?
⊹ 📸 PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORY — ✶ (if shifted) what is your favorite memory in your dr? (if not shifted) what scenario are you most looking forward to?
⊹ 🎢 ADRENALINE RUSH — ✶ what is the most thrilling experience you’ve had in your dr?
⊹ 💭 UNWRITTEN PAGES — ✶ if your dr had a book, what is a chapter title that describes your journey?
⊹ 🦋 METAMORPHOSIS — ✶ how has your dr changed you as a person?
⊹ 🕰️ CHILDHOOD ECHOES — ✶ do you have the same childhood in your dr, or is it different?
⁴ ˙𖦹 *∴ THE MAGICIAN
⊹ ✨ FLEETING DREAM — ✶ when you wake up in your cr, what do you miss the most about your dr?
⊹ 🔑 ONE LAST GIFT — ✶ if you could bring something from your dr to your cr, what would it be?
⊹ 🌀 WILL YOU RETURN? — ✶ do you plan on shifting back to your dr permanently or just temporarily?
okay sooo i have a tag game idea! essentially, match up ceramic tiles to you and your s/o or whoever you're shifting for! i found mine on pinterest
i'm doing me and ravi for my spider-verse / marvel / 9-1-1 dr!
tag list ! @girlfanged, @dracuthea, @easyboyrecliner, @evangeliooon, @marcellasdiary, @starlvrz, @byswrld, @sillygirlsalad, @fadeintomia222, @hermanuscript, @ang3leyes, and anyone else that sees this or would like to join!!
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TIMELINE OF TOMMY FALLING in my portland reality,, or a collection of diary entries from tommy’s pov that detail how he fell for me in our sophomore year of high school ( 1.7K words: ~6:10 read )
MON SEPT 16TH, 2019 [ 02:02 PM ]
Thaïsa held the door open for me as we walked into class today. And she smiled at me. I tried to ignore the weird feeling in my chest at the sight. And I tried to ignore the whiff of her perfume I got when the wind blew past us.
WED SEPT 18TH, 2019 [ 03:33 PM ]
I noticed Thaïsa watching me as I worked on my project in ceramics class. I felt hot under her stare. And I was so scared I’d screw something up as she watched me work. I also watched as she picked at the clay under her nails while she waited for school to let out. Her upper lip was scrunched to the top of her nose in what I think was focus. She looked cute, it was hard to look away.
THURS SEPT 19TH, 2019 [ 10:43 AM ]
We had to sit through a socratic seminar today in class. It was last minute and none of us were prepared. Except Thaïsa of course. I can tell she didn’t want to speak at all during it. But the teacher picked up on her preparedness and singled her out as much as she could get away with. Her voice is so smooth and sweet, I was glad when the teacher kept getting her to speak.
FRI SEPT 20TH, 2019 [ 10:01 AM & 02:56 PM ]
Thaïsa was also in the ceramics classroom for FLEX period today. She was working on her project and looked frustrated. If my memory served me right, she might have messed up her previous attempt I had seen her with and had to start over. I offered her my help and she took it. I tried not to touch her but it was hard to explain in words so she asked if I could guide her hands and I think my heart stopped the minute mine touched hers.
In our ceramics period I watched Thaïsa use the advice I gave her. And it was producing genuinely fantastic results. She noticed too, and when she decided she was finished for the day she came up to me and thanked me. I could feel my heart in my throat as she continued the conversation to ask me about my project. And I could feel my nerves ravaging me as she then asked if she could pull up a chair and talk for the remainder of the period. Despite my anxiety I found it hard to say no to her. Because I didn’t want to.
SUN SEPT 22ND, 2019 [ 04:39 PM ]
I had practically stalked Thaïsa’s instagram stories all weekend. I had found out she was hanging out with my brother today and tried to position myself to be perfectly spotted in our living room from the front door for when they got back. It worked out because when they did get back she smiled at me as soon as she spotted me when walking in, and it felt like I was shot at the sight of it. My brother left to take out the trash per our mother’s request and she sat at the edge of the couch by my feet and made conversation with me. It was in that moment I noticed that her glasses shrunk her eyes. I wanted to study her for ages. And I got my wish. Because my mother invited her over for dinner and she accepted. And I got to stare at her from across the table as she rambled on when asked questions while I shoveled my face with food. She made eye contact with me a few times. I think I almost choked after one of them.
MON SEPT 23RD, 2019 [ 11:43 AM ]
This week we had presentations in our english class. Thaïsa was the first to go. And she carried herself so well up there. It was like I was watching a professional speaker instead of a 10th grade english presentation. Her tone was competent, yet airy. Her voice was velvety, yet sweet. And she spoke like she had her whole speech memorized even though we were allowed to use notecards and she even had her own in her hands. At the end of the period I gathered the courage to walk up to her while we waited by the door for the bell to release us for lunch. I complimented her on her willingness to go first for shit like this when nearly everyone always wanted to go last. She told me something along the lines of, “I get anxious presenting, so getting it over with helps me relax for the rest of the week.” I think I looked shocked by that, if her amused face told me anything, because I was. I doubt anyone could pick up on any amount of nerves when she was at the front of the class, I couldn’t begin to imagine that she was remotely nervous during her allotted time. When I told her that—astonishment in my voice—she giggled. And my whole body burnt up like a furnace.
TUES SEPT 24TH, 2019 [ 2:41 PM ]
Thaïsa asked for my help in ceramics class again. She had an idea for a project but didn’t know how to start it so she came up to me to ask me for advice. I gave it way too willingly. I think my excitement might’ve been a bit too noticeable. But she didn’t say anything, thankfully. She asked me if she was moving her hand correctly at one point. She wasn’t. And before I could think any better I moved her hand over the clay with mine. Once my hand came off hers, the classroom phone rang and the teacher told her that she was leaving early. Once she cleaned up and left, a strange part of me felt empty. I missed her company and being able to look at her during the breaks from my work. I didn’t realize how much I looked foward to her in my day. Or how much I’d mourn the fifty minutes of her presence I lost, until I lost it. No matter how pathetic that might sound.
WED SEPT 25TH, 2019 [ 10:47 PM ]
After presentations our teacher had us discuss in groups some questions she wrote out about the source material. Thaïsa was in my group since she sits right in front of me, so our tables were grouped together. I actually tried adding my input. I’m always worried I’ll say something stupid. But Thaïsa looked at me while I talked like I was saying the most interesting things. She was actively listening to me anytime I spoke. And that fact increased my confidence. And when I stopped talking, the things she had to say about the things I said. It’s like she heard and took in every word. Maybe I’m crazy for being so excited over that. I don’t know. The other thing is that I mentioned to the group that I didn’t understand the connection between the message of the book and some of the chapters in it. And Thaïsa offered to explain it to me after class, which made my heart beat fast in my chest. And when she stopped me on the way out of class, and walked with me to the cafeteria so she could explain, like she said she would, I could feel my heart in my throat.
THURS SEPT 26TH, 2019 [ 03:02 PM ]
Near the end of class me and Thaïsa ended up finishing our projects and putting them in the kiln at the same time. She complimented my work as it went in, and I complimented hers back. She smiled at me when she said thank you. She was also quick to try and make conversation after that and walked back to my table with me. She must’ve thought she was overstepping because she seemed to panic as she rambled out, “Oh sorry! I can leave you alone if you want.” I immediately thought, ‘I don’t want’. But instead of speaking those words out loud, I just smiled, shook my head, and assured her she wasn’t bothering me and invited her to sit next to me. She did, and we talked for the remainder of the class period. She asked me so many questions about myself, and apologized if I had already answered them in the past. But I couldn’t care less if I had. Because her interest in me was making me feel crazy.
FRI SEPT 27TH, 2019 [ 11:49 PM ]
We had presentations again today, and I watched as Thaïsa listened intently. She picked at the skin on her arms while she did. It’s a cute little habit I’ve noticed she does. I caught myself unconsciously tapping my own arm in the same spot after staring too long. After the presentations we had group discussions again, with the same groups as before. I watched her lips move as she talked. She had put what I think was lipgloss on today, and it made her lips shine. I couldn’t keep my eyes away. Especially when her lips would stick together a bit as she started to talk. When I realized I might be staring too much I got self conscious that others could notice. But then she smiled and that worry was far from my mind. We had a bit of time left after group discussions so our teacher started explaining our next project which was a group project. I tried looking around the room for who I could group together with. But before I could find anyone when our teacher released us to create our groups, Thaïsa turned around and asked me if I wanted to join her and her friend’s group. My heart rate became what felt erratic in my chest as I just nodded and, more awkwardly than I’d like, agreed. They talked about their plans for the project. But I wasn’t listening. I was too stuck in my own thoughts and realizations that I was crushing way too hard on Thaïsa if not just fully and dreadfully in love with her.
TAGLIST!! @laylasverse @dessarchive @girlfanged & @miiholic ( I forgot it when i first posted whoops )
