𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗢 ✶ 𝒹𝗢𝗥𝗘

‎ . . .

‎

To: SHIFTBLR

From: [email protected]

Cc: [email protected], [email protected]

Subject: hihii!! i’m theo ( /thaïsa )

‎

‎

To whom it may concern,

‎

I am a gender freak weirdo whose goal is to make sense to absolutely no one, in the same way I make absolutely no sense to my own self. I create any and every reality I want just for something more, much much more. I’m a chronic avoider, filled with anxiety and lacking the executive function to function beyond the whiles of creation and remembering. Join me in the chaotic and neurotic ravings of my imbalanced and obsessive mind.

Love, Your not so local tommy shepherd lover

‎

us when someone claims we’re the problem 🙄 neverrrrrr

I LIKE THAT YOU’RE TALL in my fem!boys of tommen reality,, or a ( 355 words: ~1:17 min read ) excerpt of gibsie commenting on my height that i wrote for a tiktok edit [ FOUND HERE ]

IT HAD BEEN APPROXIMATELY two weeks of me and Gibsie’s arrangement. And even then I had thought I’d never get tired of our banter. Truth be told, after this long, I don’t think I ever will. Because it is always laced with something. Want or need. Playfulness and teasing.

And in this instance, it was borderline euphoric seeing him smirk as he told me, “I like that you're tall, means you're closer to my lips,” after I shared how it felt my height affected my prospects with men.

He took that tidbit personally, it seems. He shared his own information like it was dire and essential for me to know that about him. No playful or teasing tone, just a soft, doe-ish, ‘by the way’.

Looking back he might’ve been intent on proving to me that he was different to those men—maybe even superior—just for the mere fact he wanted me because of the parts of me that had made me feel more difficult to be wanted.

It felt like he was selling himself for a role in my life, as if he didn’t already have one of the most important ones.

I don't know… What I did know then, is that his words made me feel all giggly inside. I couldn’t help my own smirk from forming as I tilted my head at him. Then watched as I walked my two fingers up his arm while I teased him with a, “Makes kissing easier, huh, Ger?”

He just smiled wider. I’ve always liked how much he enjoyed a playful back and forth. The joy on his face, and his haste to fire back is what makes it so fun.

What’s the point of playful teasing when it doesn’t seem to affect the other person? And Gibs is more than willing to wear every genuine reaction on his face, especially now knowing what it means to me.

This time though, like most times since our arrangement formed two weeks prior, our back and forth didn't do much more jumping past this.

The message was clear. What we wanted was clear. We got to the point.

CATCH A FLIGHT for my pinned post,, or a masterlist of all of my main desired realities “across the world”.

ㅤㅤㅤ 🔖 | RRZ ✈︎ CA

ㅤㅤㅤ Gate: 11B Seat: 11C California Realities

📍 boy next door , hockey romance , disney cast member & like teammates realities

ㅤㅤㅤ 🔖 | RRZ ✈︎ NYC

ㅤㅤㅤ Gate: 22A Seat: 44B New York City Realities

📍 situationship , brother’s best friend & ex-boyfriends realities

ㅤㅤㅤ 🔖 | RRZ ✈︎ IRE

ㅤㅤㅤ Gate: 22A Seat: 22C Ireland Realities

📍 boys of tommen & fem!boys of tommen realities

ㅤㅤㅤ 🔖 | RRZ ✈︎ PNW

ㅤㅤㅤ Gate: 11B Seat: 33B Pacific Northwest Realities

📍 portland romcom & tutor realities

ㅤㅤㅤ 🔖 | RRZ ✈︎ PNW

ㅤㅤㅤ Gate: 11B Seat: 33B Pacific Northwest Realities

📍 Portland, Oregon 𐔌 PORTLAND ROMCOM REALITY ˎˊ˗

THAÏSA HERMÈS TORRES ☁︎ In which I’m a 17 year old senior attending Lincoln High School, in line for valedictorian and the girlfriend of the captain of the football team. My neighbor, and my boyfriend’s friend + teammate has been in love with me for a couple years now, and refuses to give up on his attempts to steal me from my shitty boyfriend. 「 S/O : TOMMY SHEPHERD 」 [ 2021 ]

introduction, timeline of tommy falling for me, my guilt for loving him, first birthday with him, his birthday gifts, spotify wrapped, shermès anthem,

you’re my girl, starting to think you’re a liar,

coloorrr,

where it started, [ TRY TO SHUT ME UP ]

ㅤ # rrez’s portland romcom reality

📍 Seattle, Washington 𐔌 TUTOR REALITY ˎˊ˗

THEODORE HERMÈS TORRES ☁︎ In which I’m a 20 year old junior, english major, and reading and writing tutor at Washington State. I become the tutor for a dyslexic senior who is finally forced to take the art history courses he put off that are required for his major. When he makes a move, I turn him down quoting his own sexuality as the reason. That doesn’t deter him though. 「 S/O : GRANT GIBSON 」 [ 2024 ]

coming soon…

coming soon…

coming soon…

[ TRY TO SHUT ME UP ]

ㅤ ㅤㅤ# rrez’s tutor reality

ㅤㅤㅤ 🔖 | RRZ ✈︎ IRE

ㅤㅤㅤ Gate: 22A Seat: 22C Ireland Realities

📍 Cork, Ireland 𐔌 BOYS OF TOMMEN REALITY ˎˊ˗

THÉODORE HERMÈS RIVAS ☁︎ In which I’m a 17 year old sixth year attending Tommen College, as well as one of the school’s swimmers aiming for the olympics. Known for “turning” the straight boys of Tommen gay, or in the very least bisexual. But never dates, having eyes for only one. 「 S/O : TOMMY SHEPHERD 」 [ 2024 ]

quick introduction ( the best you’re getting ), valentine’s day, my brother and the move ( + edit ), olivier hermès ( my father ), it’s very important that you get on that plane, his birthday gifts, our family “issues”, shut up and dance with me, shermès anthem,

pushing it down and praying ( + edit ), gushing about tommy, i’m gonna kill you, you push it hard, i pull away,

quick introduction,

[ TRY TO SHUT ME UP ]

ㅤ # rrez’s boys of tommen reality

📍 Cork, Ireland 𐔌 FEM!BOYS OF TOMMEN REALITY ˎˊ˗

THAÏSA HERMÈS RIVAS ☁︎ In which I’m a 17 year old sixth year attending Tommen College, as well as one of the school’s top sprinters. Born in Paris, raised in Ballylaggin, I moved away due to a family emergency. Now back, I’m welcomed home by my best friend and her boyfriend’s friends. One of which I start seeing, and can’t stop seeing which is out of character for my typical one and done attitude. 「 S/O : GERARD GIBSON 」 [ 2021 ]

the girl and her boy, shut up and dance with me,

coming soon…

coming soon…

[ TRY TO SHUT ME UP ]

ㅤ # rrez’s fem!boys of tommen reality

ㅤㅤㅤ 🔖 | RRZ ✈︎ NYC

ㅤㅤㅤ Gate: 22A Seat: 44B New York City Realities

📍 Manhattan, NY 𐔌 SITUATIONSHIP REALITY ˎˊ˗

THAÏSA HERMÈS TORRES ☁︎ In which I’m an 21 year old recent graduate of Columbia University preparing for my masters. Was very recently broken up with, and I contact my ex-situationship thirty minutes after the break up. I am now reeling over my very real feelings for my reignited situationship turned best friend with benefits, while he’s in the same boat. We spend the summer struggling with what to do. 「 S/O : TOMMY SHEPHERD 」 [ 2026 ]

introduction, hey there summerboy, shut up and dance with me, what’s in my bag(s), shermès anthem,

can i have a kiss? you’re a princess, hello sunshine, prefer us now, “we can end things if you want„ but there were other people,

monday may twenty-fifth, through our lens, theatre camp and summer,

[ TRY TO SHUT ME UP ]

ㅤ # rrez’s situationship reality

📍 Manhattan, NY 𐔌 BROTHER’S BEST FRIEND REALITY ˎˊ˗

THAÏSA HERMÈS FLORES ☁︎ In which I’m an 18 year old freshman attending Columbia University. The youngest daughter of wealthy New York parents. Family friends with another wealthy New York family, the Shepherd’s, since birth. And in love with the eldest Shepherd twin. The one who is way too overprotective over me, yet also so soft for me. 「 S/O : TOMMY SHEPHERD && GRANT GIBSON 」 [ 2022 ]

an edit with a side of small synopsis, come on superman say your stupid line, olivier hermès ( my father ), it’s very important that you get on that plane, hard launching, his birthday gifts, what i ate in a day, shut up and dance with me, shermès anthem,

a text conversation, coming clean to new friends, best thing to happen to us, my guilt,

summer, it’s memories, and my people, me and lily’s favorite summer activity,

where it started, [ TRY TO SHUT ME UP ]

ㅤ # rrez’s brother’s best friend reality

📍 Manhattan, NY 𐔌 EX-BOYFRIENDS REALITY ˎˊ˗

THEODORE HERMÈS RIVAS ☁︎ In which I’m a writer in my early 20s. Once in a relationship with a man. I ended things because of my insecurities that were affecting our relationship, which came with a promise that I’d reconnect when better. I never do. A year later he gets a girlfriend, but they barely last a month. And when news of the break up finds me, I’m drunk texting him. 「 S/O : TOMMY SHEPHERD 」 [ 2027 ]

coming soon…

coming soon…

coming soon…

[ TRY TO SHUT ME UP ]

ㅤ ㅤㅤ# rrez’s ex-boyfriends reality

ㅤㅤㅤ 🔖 | RRZ ✈︎ CA

ㅤㅤㅤ Gate: 11B Seat: 11C California Realities

📍Beverly Hills, California 𐔌 BOY NEXT DOOR REALITY ˎˊ˗

THEODORE HERMÈS FLORES ☁︎ In which I’m a 17 year old senior at Harvard Westlake High School in Beverly Hills. The boy who moved in next door from New York City all but ignores me for several months despite crushing on me. Once we finally become friends, it’s not until autumn, after we start a mutually beneficial relationship, that I fall for him too. 「 S/O : TOMMY SHEPHERD 」 [ 2024 ]

infamous first shift, letters we never sent, notes app tour, come on superman, say your stupid line, shut up and dance with me, my day at the pool, shermès anthem,

new and horrifying ( part one ), just start talking ( part two ), study session, his joy, am i the only person you’re seeing?

date night idea, childhood memory, day in my life, achilles and patroclus,

where it started, [ TRY TO SHUT ME UP ]

ㅤ # rrez’s boy next door reality

📍Los Angeles , California 𐔌 HOCKEY ROMANCE REALITY ˎˊ˗

THAÏSA HERMÈS FLORES ☁︎ In which I’m a 20 year old junior attending the Univeristy of California Los Angeles. Getting over a summer fling that caused me to cancel a celebratory OF subscription. Trying to hook up with someone new, I realize the man’s frat house bedroom is the same bedroom as the faceless OF creator I followed. We end up in a fake relationship in hopes my summer fling will change his mind. 「 S/O : TOMMY SHEPHERD 」 [ 2024 ]

introduction, shut up and dance with me, shine bright like a diamond, shermès anthem,

remembering and realizing,

need to know everything? hockey games 101, grant, rhys and lily, and xander,

[ TRY TO SHUT ME UP ]

ㅤ # rrez’s hockey romance reality

📍Anaheim, California 𐔌 DISNEY CAST MEMBER REALITY ˎˊ˗

THAÏSA HERMÈS FLORES ☁︎ In which I’m 21 year old senior at UCLA, finishing up my last trimester at the institution virtually in order to work at Disneyland through their college program. I work as the character attendant for a certain blonde character actor who has fallen head over heels for me. 「 S/O : TOMMY SHEPHERD 」 [ 2025 ]

mini introduction, lazy days off, her happiest place on earth, his happiest place on earth, world of color debrief, disneyland fitchecks, disney’s the third wheel, shermès anthem,

coming soon…

cast hijinks, summer and who it’s with, shermès disneyland scenarios,

[ TRY TO SHUT ME UP ]

ㅤㅤ ‎ # rrez’s disney cast member reality

📍 Sacramento, California 𐔌 LIKE TEAMMATES REALITY ˎˊ˗

THEODORE HERMÈS FLORES ☁︎ In which I’m a 20 year old junior and Olympic gold medalist attending Sacramento State. I make friends with five of the ( mostly not out ) gay soccer boys on campus. One of which I start a friends with benefits relationship with, that we keep secret. As our relationship evolves so does his opinions on said secrecy. 「 S/O : TOMMY SHEPHERD 」 [ 2024 ]

coming soon…

coming soon…

coming soon…

[ TRY TO SHUT ME UP ]

ㅤ ㅤㅤ# rrez’s like teammates reality

I DON’T LIKE HIM ANYMORE in my hockey romance reality,, or a ( 354 words: ~1:17 min read ) excerpt about me losing interest in a man i fake dated tommy for, that i wrote for a tiktok edit [ FOUND HERE ]

“RIGHT, OKAY, SO what happened that caused this sudden change?”

I look over to Rhys who’s sitting with his legs crossed on the floor as he leans back on his hands, and I just sigh.

“Hard to say,” I start while picking at the stain on the couch I probably shouldn’t be touching, “I think my feelings just naturally started fading the more time I spent with Tommy.”

“Because you’re actually falling for hiimmm,” Lily sings as she pokes my side.

Lily and Rhys are some of the few people who actually know my relationship with Tommy isn’t real. Along with the purpose of it, which is to get Xander.

I yelp at the feeling of her long nail pressing into my side. The laugh I let out from the tickle of her poke, fades as my face falls at her words, “Ughh maybe, I don’t know.”

My hand swats at Lily’s as a finger tries to come for me again, “Tommy and I are complicated, and I’m too busy with school to figure it out…”

“Barely,” I hear Rhys mutter.

My pointed stare doesn’t bother him per usual, so I just continue speaking, “But it’s not just that. Every new chat with Xander feels like walking on legos.”

I grimace at the memory of our last conversation, if it can even be called that, “He’s obviously flirting with me,” I complain, “Because I know what his flirting looks and sounds like, and it’s just so not appealing to be on the receiving end of it now.”

I groan because now I’m reliving the memory just so I can say Xander’s words out loud, “He had the audacity to tell me, ‘You’d look great with my jersey on’ after a game and in front of the whole team.”

A groan escapes me again out of the sheer embarrassment I’m feeling for the second time in twenty-four hours, “And the mental image he gave me with his delivery literally made me feel disgusted.”

Rhys snorts, “Wow so you’re just really turned off by him now.”

“Honestly…” I chuckle, “…how was I not turned off sooner?”

MEMO!! I really like the edit I made that’s linked to this excerpt so if you wanna check it out you totally shouuuld!!

HOCKEY ROMANCE REALITY

˚˖𓍢ִ໋🌊˚ GRAND SEA ˎˊ˗ who do you consider a turbulent, yet beautiful, force of nature in your reality? unpredictable, yet just as magnetic?

ⓘ GRANT GIBSON is the one who I think will always be my answer for this question. As long as he’s in the reality, he’s the most turbulent force of nature I know. I answered him for this question in another reality. But it’s really just always him. He’s one of my best friends and I think it’s for good reason. Our energies are not matched. He’s definitely a bit more… much. But he’s also the perfect energy I need in my life. Most of my friends are calm, with their feet on the ground at all times. And even in their most exciting moments, it’s nothing like Grant at his most energetic. It’s nice to have that energy change. It brings out the best in me while he also doesn’t expect me to match him entirely or ever. I don’t know. He’s just great. A force to be reckoned with. An unstoppable force one could say.

˚˖𓍢ִ໋⚓️˚ SUNKEN ANCHOR ˎˊ˗ when the currents are strong & you find yourself slipping, who/what keeps you tethered? what's something they say or do to take care of you?

ⓘ RHYS AND LILY. During the summer at least. I know those two from school before college. Meeting Lily in elementary, and Rhys in high school. So we all have the same hometown ( Los Angeles ) and we spend our summers together typically. And they’re always so supportive. They offer non-biased completely objective advice that benefits me and ensures my well being. But they’re also not too harsh about it. They cushion their blows with care and pleasantries. And remind me of my worth constantly and especially during my most vital and sensitive moments. So when I have my hiccups with Xander during the summer Rhys and Lily always have the most perfect words to say. And when I’m heart broken from the rejection I face from Xander they’re the ones to snap me out of my spiral and bring me back to earth.

˚˖𓍢ִ໋🔥˚ HEATWAVE ˎˊ˗ do the people you're usually surrounded by feel the same way you do about summer? why or why not?

ⓘ LILY DOES! Despite her sensitive skin that gets way too pink way too quickly when out in the sun “too long”, she loves it. She loves all the activities whether they’re in nature, in the city, or inside. She can’t get enough. She also enjoys celebrating with me when it comes to my birthday… August leo, whoop whoop! And also celebrating together when it comes to finishing a year of whatever level of schooling we’re in now. Summer is very freeing for us. And we’ve always bonded over that.

XANDER ON THE OTHER HAND isn’t one for summer. Xander is my situationship that turned my idea of a relationship between us down a couple weeks before our junior year at UCLA started. We were a summer situationship. And despite the wonderful season around us, we spent most of our time indoors. He didn’t care for the sun, or the heat, sand or the wet. He just was kind of like an Ebenezer Scrooge of summer time. I truly don’t understand how that didn’t effect my interest in him. How can a girl so intrinsically summer want to be with a man so anti her season.

SITUATIONSHIP REALITY

˚˖𓍢ִ໋🍦˚ ICE-COLD POPSICLES ˎˊ˗ what's a favourite childhood/early memory you revisit? why? who's in it?

ⓘ THEATRE CAMP in elementary school where me and Lily started our friendship. It was a sleepaway camp outside of the city. It wasn’t well known within the private school sector of New York City. So how me and Lily managed to attend at the same time when most children didn’t even live in the city means it must be fate. We had known of each other at school, but we never spoke or played together. Then we met at the camp and our friendship just took off. We did everything together for the next couple of weeks. Every activity inside or outside. We stayed up “past our bedtime” to just talk and hang out. We ate meals together, did our chores together, and when we couldn’t be together we begged the counselors to let us. We were inseparable. And it stayed that way from then on until now and will stay that way forever. She’s my girl for now and always!!

˚˖𓍢ִ໋🔥˚ HEATWAVE ˎˊ˗ do the people you're usually surrounded by feel the same way you do about summer? why or why not?

ⓘ DEPENDS ON THE PERSON. I would say most of my friends enjoy summer. Maybe not as much as I do. Because a weird part of me actually enjoys the heat and when it’s so intense it feels like it’s giving me a hug. Most of my friends aren’t that way. Some even hate the heat, like Billy, he doesn’t like summer much. He thinks the concept of summer is nice, but the heat ruins it. It doesn’t stop him from joining us when we go out though! He just carries a mini portable fan. Most people closest to me love summer, what it stands for, and what it brings into their lives. So even if the heat sucks, what summer brings to them makes up for it. Is it all of their favorite season like it is mine? Ehhh… not really. Or at least not for all of them. But it’s up there!

SHERMÈS ANTHEMS!! Okay so, these are coming directly from my playlists. Just scoured them for this, which is why I put off answering this, but I’m excited to share what I’ve got now!! Note that the explanations, even when using “I” are not always about me. I, Theo, may not always be the “I” I am talking about.

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ SITUATIONSHIP˚. ࿐ STOP by BELLA KAY

Oh my God, I think I gotta knock it off I think I gotta stop I don't really wanna stop, though

THIS IS VERY: This is starting to get serious for me. I need to stop. I should stop. But I don’t want to.

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ BOY NEXT DOOR˚. ࿐ IMPERFECT FOR YOU by ARIANA GRANDE

How could we know That this was a happy disaster? I'm glad we crashed and burned

THIS IS VERY: We crashed and burned, which we did do in this reality. But it got us to where we needed to go and we’re better for it.

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ PORTLAND ROMCOM˚. ࿐ I JUST DON’T KNOW YOU YET by ABSOLUTELY

But I know you've been sent from God To teach me to love again 'Cause I think I must've forgot

THIS IS VERY: I was hurt in the past, and you are the one thing that has allowed me to heal and know what love is.

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ DISNEY CAST MEMBER˚. ࿐ EVERYWHERE by FLEETWOOD MAC

I wanna be with you everywhere Can you hear me calling out your name? You know that I'm falling and I don't know what to say

THIS IS VERY: I’ve become attached to you and the time we spend together. I never want to leave your side and I want to do everything with you.

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ BROTHER’S BEST FRIEND˚. ࿐ MY ENDEAVOR by RUBY ROBERTS

Oh, I'm dying to know What's in your mind It's all I endeavour

THIS IS VERY: I’m always left guessing on how you may feel. Everything is complicated and I want to know how you feel about me.

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ HOCKEY ROMANCE˚. ࿐ WASTELAND, BABY! by HOZIER

And I love too, that love soon might end Be known in its aching Shown in the shaking Lately of my wasteland, baby

THIS IS VERY: Our fake relationship that had turned very real to me is on limited time. It can end at any moment and has never planned on lasting forever. Yet I find what we’ve built so beautiful.

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ BOYS OF TOMMEN˚. ࿐ IT WILL COME BACK by HOZIER

Don't let it in with no intention to keep it Jesus Christ, don't be kind to it Honey, don't feed it, it will come back

THIS IS VERY: Stop giving me little pieces of attention and flirting with me then turning around and saying nothing will happen between us. Because I will always return back to you for more.