𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗢 ✶ 𝒹𝗢𝗥𝗘

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To: SHIFTBLR

From: [email protected]

Cc: [email protected], [email protected]

Subject: hihii!! i’m theo ( /thaïsa )

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To whom it may concern,

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I am a gender freak weirdo whose goal is to make sense to absolutely no one, in the same way I make absolutely no sense to my own self. I create any and every reality I want just for something more, much much more. I’m a chronic avoider, filled with anxiety and lacking the executive function to function beyond the whiles of creation and remembering. Join me in the chaotic and neurotic ravings of my imbalanced and obsessive mind.

Love, Your not so local tommy shepherd lover

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SONG ASSOCIATIONS in my fem!boys of tommen reality,, or a post of a small list of songs i associate with this reality after being tagged in this tag game by @elysian-fawn

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ 🍹˚. ࿐ BLAME IT by JAMIE FOXX & T-PAIN

She spilled some drank on me (on me, on me); And now I'm knowin' she's tipsy (tipsy, tipsy); She put her body on me, And she keep starin' me right in my eyes; No tellin' what I'm gon' do (gon' do, gon' do); Baby I would rather show you (show you, show you); What you been missin' in your life when I get inside

ME AND GIBSIE’S friends with benefits relationship started while drunk at a party unforrrrtttcchhh……. I make the first move and he’s been wanting me for so long he gives in fast even though he didn’t want to be just “one of my hook ups” prior to this.

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ 🥫˚. ࿐ CRUSH by 2HOLLIS

I got a crush on you, do you crush on me too? Thinkin' of you everywhere, your house, my house, the car or in my room; I got a crush on you, do you crush on me too? Every single thing I make, say, think or do towards you

VERY MUCH A Gibsie anthem… by my first day back at Tommen he’s crushing on me again. And even when we’re friends with benefits he genuinely wonders if I like him back at all with the way I act with him.

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ 💌˚. ࿐ LOVE IS THE LAW by LOVE SPELLS

Baby, you're meant for my arms; Like your name's meant for my tongue; So don't you play with my heart; Don't go breakin' the law; Don't go breakin' the law; 'Cause baby, love is the law

ANOTHER YEARNING GISBIE anthem. Unfortunately I’m giving him just enough while seemingly keeping my “we’re just friends” mentality that is confusing and makes no sense to him. He still holds a lot of hope for our future though, despite his worries.

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ 🍀˚. ࿐ LUCKY by JASON MRAZ & COLBIE CAILLAT

They don't know how long it takes; Waiting for a love like this; Every time we say goodbye; I wish we had one more kiss; I'll wait for you, I promise you, I will; Lucky I'm in love with my best friend; Lucky to have been where I have been

I DON’T KNOW… this song just very much gives me Gibsie and I. The duet is beautiful, the lyrics feel appropriate. He is one of my best friends, even if we kiss. I’m yearning even when I don’t realize it or refuse to acknowledge it. And Gibsie yearns loudly but to himself… if that makes sense.

MEMOS!! I’m tagging not only my taglist but other people, everyone tagged is free to join in. Reblog this post, the original linked above, or make your own!!

HOW’S MY PRINCESS THIS MORNING? in my fem!boys of tommen reality,, or a ( 338 word: ~1:14 min read ) excerpt about a welcomed morning greeting from my lil best friends with benefits, written for a tiktok edit [ FOUND HERE ]

“How’s my princess this morning?” sounds through the ear it was whispered into. I can feel his arm wrapped around my waist and his hand squeezing my right hip, as his accent that I’ve grown rather fond of echos in my ear.

With any other person, with the morning l’ve already had, this would be the boiling point. What makes me break down or explode. But with him, fuck… it feels like my energy is renewed. Like I can feel the corner of my lips already turning up just from his presence alone.

I can also feel this airy-light feeling spread from the center of my chest out, that feeling traveling down all my extremities as my mind gets less heavy and clouded. It almost feels as if my light has been reignited.

I stop walking the path to my next class, and Ger skids to a halt next to me. When I turn he has a soft smile on his face that barely matches the wide one I was sporting.

I usually try not to. Boundaries and such. But I let my eyes scan his face this time. I let them study his features in case something might’ve changed since the last time I saw him. I can feel my smile grow wider as I do. As I recognize every feature that makes up the man I can’t help but to adore terribly so.

The crinkle in his eyes turn confused as an eyebrow piques an interest at my lack of an answer to his question, if not words in general. And his fingers, resting on my opposite hip with me now facing him, haven’t stopped tapping absentmindedly.

I grab his hand off my hip and hold the palm with my two hands, letting one of mine play with the fingers there. When I look up at him, I catch his eye, and I have to prevent myself from getting lost in them now that my words had finally come to me.

“After seeing you? I’m great.”

MEMOS!! Took a break from editing to post this because… yeah I don’t know, just wanted to I guess. Class A procrastinator, I am.

I LOVE YOU’S in my brother’s best friend reality,, or a ( 564 word: ~2:03 min read ) excerpt about Grant telling me he loves me for the first time, written for a tiktok edit [ FOUND HERE ].

A PARTICULARLY LOUD REV catches my attention as I turn to try and spot what obnoxious car decided to make that ostentatious and annoying display. But before I can spot it my attention is dragged away from the street by Grant’s voice.

“Hey,” was what he muttered before my eyes fell on him. Now he’s saying, “So I wanted to talk,” while he looks so small and can barely keep eye contact with me.

I just chuckle lightly, joking with him, and throwing out an, “Uh oh.”

His eyes snap over and lock onto mine, “No! It’s nothing bad!” He doesn’t continue speaking though as he stares away from me in the silence I give him.

“Go on then,” I say with a laugh.

His trouble with eye contact all but vanishes as he starts talking to me while looking me in my eyes, “I’m gonna tell you something.”

‘Shit…’ Is all I can think. I can kind of read the room… or sidewalk we’re on. With the meal we just had, I can see where this is going, but I just let him keep talking.

“And don’t feel obligated to respond a certain way.”

And after those words, I know my assumptions have just been proven right. I wonder if I should say something, but he just won’t stop talking.

“I just feel like it has to be sai—”

“Grant,” I interrupt. And his eyes widen slightly as his mouth snaps shut. There’s a fear in his eyes, like he’s expecting some reaction from me that I’m ultimately not going to give him.

I can’t help the chuckle that escapes me as I look away from him and towards the street, watching as a passing car drives down it and past us too fast. “Just tell me you love me…” I finally say as I look back to him. His mouth is blubbering as if he’s trying to speak, but I’m not done, “…so I can say it back.”

He starts to grow a small smile that’s been missing from his face since he joined me out on the sidewalk. “You love me?”

The question makes my heart beat fast. It honestly is an exciting question to be asked. An exciting question to answer too. My own smile grows wide at it, “I love you a lot, honestly.” His smile stretches into a wider grin at my answer, and then again at my question, “And you love me?”

“Funny you ask, because I actually love you to the moon and back.” His thumb and finger pinch my chin as he shakes my head side to side.

I snort as I push his hand away, “Woowww, that’s pretty far, too bad I love you from here to pluto.”

Grant moves to push a strand of hair behind my ear as he says, “Huh… because I travel to other galaxies just so I can love you during the whole journey sooo…” I push his hand away again after it lingered, and he playfully grimaces, communicating to me that this back and forth is fruitless.

“Fiiine, you wiiin,” I say as I wrap my arms around his shoulders and let my head fall into his neck.

His arms envelop my waist as he whispers, “I always do,” into my hair. And I pull back from his neck just so I can flick him in the head.

MEMO!! Said in my edit’s caption that I was gonna post this the day I posted the edit… whoops!

us when someone claims we’re the problem 🙄 neverrrrrr

I LIKE THAT YOU’RE TALL in my fem!boys of tommen reality,, or a ( 355 words: ~1:17 min read ) excerpt of gibsie commenting on my height that i wrote for a tiktok edit [ FOUND HERE ]

IT HAD BEEN APPROXIMATELY two weeks of me and Gibsie’s arrangement. And even then I had thought I’d never get tired of our banter. Truth be told, after this long, I don’t think I ever will. Because it is always laced with something. Want or need. Playfulness and teasing.

And in this instance, it was borderline euphoric seeing him smirk as he told me, “I like that you're tall, means you're closer to my lips,” after I shared how it felt my height affected my prospects with men.

He took that tidbit personally, it seems. He shared his own information like it was dire and essential for me to know that about him. No playful or teasing tone, just a soft, doe-ish, ‘by the way’.

Looking back he might’ve been intent on proving to me that he was different to those men—maybe even superior—just for the mere fact he wanted me because of the parts of me that had made me feel more difficult to be wanted.

It felt like he was selling himself for a role in my life, as if he didn’t already have one of the most important ones.

I don't know… What I did know then, is that his words made me feel all giggly inside. I couldn’t help my own smirk from forming as I tilted my head at him. Then watched as I walked my two fingers up his arm while I teased him with a, “Makes kissing easier, huh, Ger?”

He just smiled wider. I’ve always liked how much he enjoyed a playful back and forth. The joy on his face, and his haste to fire back is what makes it so fun.

What’s the point of playful teasing when it doesn’t seem to affect the other person? And Gibs is more than willing to wear every genuine reaction on his face, especially now knowing what it means to me.

This time though, like most times since our arrangement formed two weeks prior, our back and forth didn't do much more jumping past this.

The message was clear. What we wanted was clear. We got to the point.