fade into you.

Pepper was reaching for Gina as soon as she saw tears appear on her cheeks, but every move she made was too slow, and she was heading inside, walking away, disappearing into the bathroom. “Wait,” She protested, answered by the click of the bathroom door. She wasn’t sure what to do then, and let the front door close behind her, too. Nothing she’d done so far had improved their circumstances– they’d gone from plans for a casual snuggle to Gina running into the bathroom to cry, so– she covered her face with her palms for a moment and exhaled, then slowly walked to the bathroom, standing to the side of the door. “Please– just talk to me. Did I say something?”

Pepper followed her to the door, watching quietly as she receded further into herself. She didn’t know how to get her to come back out, come back to her– she was trying, but it didn’t seem to be helping. Hell, she could’ve been making it worse. She started to unlock the door when Gina spoke up again. She looked so fucking– fragile, pulling apart at the seams, threatening to spill– what? She nearly dropped the keys, and her stomach was sinking, too. “What’s– what’s wrong? Something happened. Tell me.”

Pepper was a little disappointed by her response, almost hurt. It wasn’t that she couldn’t take no for an answer or accept that she wasn’t in the mood– but she couldn’t help but wonder if it was something about her that was– unattractive. She pursed her lips slightly when Gina pulled back from her, but turned it into a smile. “Okay. That’ll be nice.” She couldn’t help but notice she suggested having Pepper’s friends at the party, as if she didn’t have any of her own. It was hard to watch her isolate herself, seem so unhappy, especially when Pepper herself had been so much better as of late. “It’ll be great. We’ll be starting a– new chapter.” She wasn’t sure she believed her last words: she felt as if she’d been pretty useless when it came to Gina’s education. She never knew how to help, and right now, that was as clear as ever. “Give yourself some credit, babe. I’m just here for moral support. Speaking of which– are you hungry? I can make you dinner.”

Pepper was a little surprised by her sudden almost-vulnerability, and put an arm around her waist, kissed the top of her head. “Yeah. Of course.” She hated that Gina seemed to feel like they had such limited time together, that they could only cuddle before she had to write a paper, that she could rarely make it to her coffee shop ‘shows’ because of other commitments. It was all or nothing. She wished she could help her find a better balance, but– she didn’t want to get in the way, keep her from achieving something. She was actually getting an education– Pepper wasn’t about to ruin that for her. Just because she was willing to work hard didn’t mean she wasn’t happy, right? “Maybe I could give you a massage, or something. I think we still have some of that oil,” She smiled, bumped her hip lightly. She nodded slowly– there it was again. She didn’t seem to want to let herself have anything yet. “Okay, sure. I’ll open the shop for you after hours, we can have our own tattoo party.” She nodded, a little surprised, though she was more than aware of how hard she’d been pushing herself. “Seems like you just started. I swear time’s going faster these days.”

“Oh, I’m sure. If people are really good at anything, it’s destroying the only planet we can actually live on,” Pepper said with a facetious thumbs-up and smile. She nodded, wishing she knew what to say or do– maybe she’d offer to help with the workload somehow, but if Gina was having trouble with it, there was no way she’d figure it out. She hadn’t allowed herself to be challenged intellectually since being hospitalized halfway through senior year of high school, for whatever reason– maybe she didn’t want to disappoint herself, get her own hopes up and discover she actually was a dumbass– that was something she hadn’t confronted so far. “i’m sure. Is it, like, math-science shit or just– deep subconscious shit? Like why people destroy the only planet they can live on?” She flashed another smile. Maybe she could at least lift her spirits a little. She was surprised by her question, and raised her eyebrows. “When am I gonna tattoo you?” She repeated. “You know I’ve been trying to forever, right? I’ll clear my whole fucking schedule. Whenever you’re ready.” She pulled her hair over one shoulder to reveal the sun at the top of her spine, though she was sure Gina knew right where it was. “We can match.”

Pepper couldn’t refrain from taking just one deep breath– a little longingly– but a quick hit from the JUUL, out of Gina’s sight, would take care of it and she’d be able to banish the smell from her brain for a while. “I saw like, four cigarettes crushed on the sidewalk just coming from the store. That’s the worst part, to me.” She pursed her lips slightly as she opened the door to the building, taking note of her silence. It’s fine. That was all she ever seemed to get on that topic. “Did you– learn anything cool?” Jesus, she sounded like Tess. Desperate and annoying, but not actually addressing the questions below the surface, the questions that needed to be asked. “Good. Pierced a lip, did a couple tats. Got a really annoying song stuck in my head. I don’t even know what it is, it just came on the Spotify they had connected to the stereo thing.” The less Gina talked, the more she wanted to fill the silence with meaningless shit. She finally swallowed the rest of the word vomit as she pressed the button for the elevator.

Pepper had stopped on the way back from work to pick up a package of JUUL pods, some coconutmilk coffee creamer, and a couple of face masks to do with Gina. She smiled as she saw her standing outside– perfect timing– reaching into her bag, but slowed her pace as she seemed to hesitate for a few moments. When she approached, she flashed her key with a smirk. “I got it. You know, they usually put little pockets in backpacks so you don’t lose your shit in the abyss of the main compartment.” She tried to ignore the cigarette, as this wasn’t an ideal time to pull out the tiny vaporizer. “How was school?”