shitpost central

*smirking* you couldn't waterboard that out of me, but even if torture was an effective method of information extraction and not a futile display of state-sanctioned sadism, the high percentage of false confessions it produces would mean that even if you could waterboard it out of me, could you even trust the veracity of my statement?

it's lazy in a different way but sometimes you aren't killing off that character's parents for an easy tragic backstory. sometimes you kill off the parents just so you don't have to write more characters.

sometimes it's because a twelve year old with living parents would probably not be permitted to stay out all night in the junkyard with the gnomes

[ID: text, reads “He made a noise that was technically a response but linguistically useless.” end ID]

To be quite honest with you all I do think that aro/ace-spectrum fans in fandoms where people are desperately inventing crossover ships and humanizing non-human characters in order to have a conventionally attractive guy to ship the main character with, instead of possibly having to enjoy a story with no romance in it, have the right to refer to everyone else as cowards.

Sorry you almost had to entertain the idea that people like me exist, I'm sure that was very painful for you.

I'm sorry but yeah, this is the one. when I get a dog, it'll be a Bolognese.

Is that what they’re stained with? Bolognese sauce? Hold on.

[standing on the tips of my toes and passing snippets and pictures of The Character through the bars] you hang in there buddy

i had a 4 hour drive today so i put on the revenge of the sith audiobook and the part where palpatine tells anakin to kill dooku came on right around the time that i saw a cybertruck and for a brief and beautiful moment when he said "do it" i had the urge to ram my honda full on into that shitty ass car

everyone who says that anakin’s fall in that movie was too sudden has never been so angry at an Elon dickrider trying to cut in front of you at a traffic standstill while a droning, pleasant British voice tells you that murder is okay and necessary. I’m sorry guys but I would have folded too

steam repeatedly notifying you that a friend is booting up a game thats clearly not cooperating feels like ur sitting inside and someone outside keeps trying to rev up a lawnmower