GoofBalling

big fan of whatever the youth is doing to torment scientology buildings

Ah yes, it's time for some tool assisted speedruns!

I was so enamored with the ornaments. I didn't think to check for nose art. Thanks for adding this!

Hence the not-uncommon adage that the washing machine did even more for women's liberation than the birth control pill

As the OP of this post, I’m going to threaten that if this gets to one million notes by the 10 year anniversary on 1 June 2026, one year from today, I will get a lower back tattoo of the loch ness bear monster.

Y'all know what to do Tumblr.

My husband’s job primarily employs adult men but there is one (1) teenage girl and my husband said originally he worried she might be a bit of an outcast but instead every man on the crew was like “huh guess I am a dad/older brother now.”

She was in a car crash on the way to work one morning and called my husband to let him know she’d be late and he was like wtf guess I’m gonna be late too because I’m coming to pick you up and then he told his team and they were like I think you mean WE are coming.

Imagine you are a teenage girl probably rushing to get to work and you crash your probably new car and feel absolutely miserable and now you’ll be late to work but then suddenly in the distance a car full of all the adult men you work with just pulls up and is like “we came all the way here to pick you up” the mental image right now is fr.

This is possibly my favorite response to this post

we need to keep this circulating so it can find the people who are about to stay up for 3 to 4 hours

honey is the only food product that never spoils. there are pots of honey that are over five thousand years old and still completely edible

i also want to point out we know it tastes the same even after thousands of years b/c archaeologists who discovered two thousand year old honey tasted it. presumably right after they looked at each other and went “what the hell here goes nothing”

I’m pretty sure they also identify human remains by taste. Archaeologists are straight up freaks.

mai nam is jane and wen i dig i fynde some roks both smol and big i put my tung upon the stone for science yes i lik the bone

I’m sitting with a bunch of archaeologists and we just laughed so hard we CRIED we’re getting tshirts with this on them

I will never ever get tired of seeing bredlik poems. It is really one of the seminal art forms of the century. I am not being sarcastic. 

If I ever don’t reblog this, assume I’m dead and archaeologists are licking my bones.

fucking spot the difference game

"safety" can also present as "useful". You have some intrinsic value that cannot be taken from you (because of some sex/kink thing). The safety is from abandonment, because you're useful, despite everything. And "useful" is a bunch of kinks (none of which I'm comfortable mentioning here).

oh no, animal ears are feet

yeah. cat ears are feet!

Just had to talk about bondage and although what I wanted to say was "My attraction to bondage isn't so much to do with power exchange or the feeling of safety and acceptance in being still desirable while immobilised, it's about the physical materials and the sensation of them - Scratchy hemp, grippy latex, etc" instead exclaimed "My rope isn't useful, it's feet."

remember when u were like 11 and the only thing u wanted was a lava lamp

#i am undiagnosing myself with 'adhd' and rediagnosing myself with 'cursed by wizard'

Uh-oh

#i like how grunkle stan’s seatbelt is attached to the window because they clearly didnt animate it until the censors told them to (via @narwhalsarefalling)