GoofBalling

nobody ever believes me when I list off all of the ways that humans are significantly less sexually dimorphic than people seem to believe and it drives me batshit insane. “you’re denying the biological reality of sex” well you’re sticking your fingers in your ears and saying lalalala every time anyone presents you with data that confirms that women and men aren’t really that different. and refusing to come to terms with the two-way relationship between the “biological” and “social” worlds. I think one of us is ignoring the biological sciences here and it isn’t me

i told my dad the joke “dad jokes are just mom jokes that a man repeated louder” and he thought it was hilarious. he turned to my mother, intending to relay the joke to her, and a bare second after he opened his mouth i watched it dawn on his face that he was about to become the subject of the joke. when i tell you that man was slackjawed as he turned back to me, like he had an entire life altering realization in the span of about 20 seconds.

Fantasy worlds always have large, beautiful moons, sometimes a few of them in pretty colours. We should have more fantasy worlds that have like 112 piece of crap tiny lumpy moons that are horrible and pointless.

They have a whole astrology system based on their awful moons and eclipses are bullshit because it just looks like a piece of gravel being tossed past a light.

I bet they look like shit from underneath

Yeah but what if there were like two dozen moons like phobos and deimos and they fucking sucked. Also a tiny one hit the planet like 300 years ago and now everyone's back in the stone age and thinks the moons are like gods of death or something. Oh also yeah their eclipses are dumb qnd boring.

Fantasy worlds always have large, beautiful moons, sometimes a few of them in pretty colours. We should have more fantasy worlds that have like 112 piece of crap tiny lumpy moons that are horrible and pointless.

They have a whole astrology system based on their awful moons and eclipses are bullshit because it just looks like a piece of gravel being tossed past a light.

I bet they look like shit from underneath

big fan of whatever the youth is doing to torment scientology buildings

Ah yes, it's time for some tool assisted speedruns!

I was so enamored with the ornaments. I didn't think to check for nose art. Thanks for adding this!

Hence the not-uncommon adage that the washing machine did even more for women's liberation than the birth control pill

As the OP of this post, I’m going to threaten that if this gets to one million notes by the 10 year anniversary on 1 June 2026, one year from today, I will get a lower back tattoo of the loch ness bear monster.

Y'all know what to do Tumblr.

My husband’s job primarily employs adult men but there is one (1) teenage girl and my husband said originally he worried she might be a bit of an outcast but instead every man on the crew was like “huh guess I am a dad/older brother now.”

She was in a car crash on the way to work one morning and called my husband to let him know she’d be late and he was like wtf guess I’m gonna be late too because I’m coming to pick you up and then he told his team and they were like I think you mean WE are coming.

Imagine you are a teenage girl probably rushing to get to work and you crash your probably new car and feel absolutely miserable and now you’ll be late to work but then suddenly in the distance a car full of all the adult men you work with just pulls up and is like “we came all the way here to pick you up” the mental image right now is fr.

This is possibly my favorite response to this post

we need to keep this circulating so it can find the people who are about to stay up for 3 to 4 hours

honey is the only food product that never spoils. there are pots of honey that are over five thousand years old and still completely edible

i also want to point out we know it tastes the same even after thousands of years b/c archaeologists who discovered two thousand year old honey tasted it. presumably right after they looked at each other and went “what the hell here goes nothing”

I’m pretty sure they also identify human remains by taste. Archaeologists are straight up freaks.

mai nam is jane and wen i dig i fynde some roks both smol and big i put my tung upon the stone for science yes i lik the bone

I’m sitting with a bunch of archaeologists and we just laughed so hard we CRIED we’re getting tshirts with this on them

I will never ever get tired of seeing bredlik poems. It is really one of the seminal art forms of the century. I am not being sarcastic. 

If I ever don’t reblog this, assume I’m dead and archaeologists are licking my bones.