the royal y'all

you solve the mystery of what to have for dinner one night and you think "hell yeah case closed forever" WRONG there is a dinner mystery the next night too

Hello my beautiful human body! I’ve invited you here today to discuss adopting non-mucus-based solutions to common challenges—

you have to forgive the printer because it's one of the most machine-ass machines we interact with on a day to day basis. that thing says kerchunk. hardly anything says kerchunk these days. you can't get mad at her when she kerchunks up a little.

Crazy that tech has gotten so bad that we're doing printer forgiveness now

"it's not that deep" START DIGGING!!

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

You know what. Parker never got to commit enough arson on the show. They should let her blow more stuff up. Its enrichment for her. Get on that john rogers

“they’re just looking at each other” you could not begin to understand the complexities involved in looking at each other

did perfectionism ever truly protect you from harm or neglect as a child though. ultimately. Lol

[REALLY NORMAL AND WELL-ADJUSTED VOICE] well you never know maybe it COULD have saved me. if i ever actually achieved perfection. it could have happened then. if i was actually ever enough. Which i was not

this is hands down my single favorite post ive ever made that got notes

I sincerely hope that the OP realizes that gramma was very likely quoting that cartoon.

the cartoon that was drawn and posted based on my post? probably not, but i guess we can never know

you have to be careful reading too many things that are good/smart/well-written bc then you encounter something that isnt and you get confused like ? why didnt they just make this good ? were they stupid

i always thought it was funny how in the lord of the rings sam and frodo head out and after awhile sam’s like “mr. frodo if i take one more step this is the farthest from the shire ive ever been” and then a ways after they meet up with merry and pippin on their daily vegetable run like jesus christ sam get out of the house once in awhile

Are you doing okay? We missed you at the devil's sacrament. He mentioned you by name. Everyone was looking around and cheering until we realized you weren't there. If you need to talk I'm always here. At the aforementioned devil's sacrament.