Ghazman

*picks Hoid up by the ankle and shakes him, causing magical items from various worlds to tumble out beneath him*

Learning that Kaladin Stormlight Archive is canonically in universe like 6′10 is just. Mind boggling. Fucking insane. He’s literally the opposite of fun sized in every way. My dude is hitting his head on every doorway. I know alethi are tall, but he’s just… so fucking tall. Shallan girl the mysterious tower you were looking for isn’t hidden somewhere he’s right there being depressed and eating stew in the corner.  Kaladin Stormblessed more like Kaladin Heightblessed. No wonder he’s so traumatized, there’s all that extra room to fit more. Bitch doesn’t need to fly to see above highstorms he can just do that naturally cause he’s so tall. Could step on Szeth like a bug without noticing. Th bridgemen lost their bridge once and just laid Kaladin over the chasms to cross instead. I could go on

I love how Kaladin can just Say things like “You sent him into the sky, assassin, but the sky and the winds are mine. I claim them, as I now claim your life,” and “Honor is dead, but I’ll see what I can do” off the cuff, not because he’s trying to be dramatic but just because he’s Like That. He can do a superhero landing or cause a glowing glyph to extend behind his glowing form, sometimes both, hitting the ground like a falling star and proceeding to turn the tide of a battle just by being there. Kaladin is literally the walking embodiment of the trope of “the cavalry has arrived”. Whenever he shows up people are certain in that moment that everything is gonna be alright, and the bad guys who’ve been paying attention know they’re fucked, and they’re both right every time. It is an unspoken rule that he must have at least one Dramatic Entrance per book, but sometimes he gets like, two or three depending on your definition. It is also a spoken rule that literally nothing and no one can kill Kaladin Stormblessed. People on both sides are always like “that can’t possibly be true” but then the people who Know are like “oh, but it is.” And they’re right every time. This depressed med school dropout is a force of nature! He can just like, casually drop kick a guy in shardplate so hard that it breaks. He just does shit like that. And then everyone proceeds to be in awe at all the stuff he does and says, as they should, and Kaladin proceeds to continue just being Like That. I’m love him.

My favorite thing about The Stormlight Archive is how Adolin invents sit-in protesting, Kaladin invents therapy, and Navani goes and invents the fucking airplane