inbox me your favorite yo mama joke

That was the wrONG GIF

Actually no it still works it’s pretty accurate

please be nice to me, i'm in my twenties. do you know what that does to a person

bro doesn’t even have a certain je ne sais quoi

I didn’t miss that social cue I just thought it was stupid 

Don't forget to sleep on your neck at a weird angle tonight. I love you

oh my god im going fucking crazy *continues to live exactly the same*

such is the nature of fall in new england that every few hours you will see the most beautiful tree in your entire life

they should invent a myself that isn't at its limit

they should invent friends for people in their twenties

Has anyone else noticed that it's bad

I carry a small tape measure on my keychain because several months ago some lady in the grocery store asked me if I had a tape measure on me. I don't work there, she just apparently thought I looked like someone who would have a tape measure on a trip to the grocery store and I was so flattered by this assumption that I went out and bought a keychain tape measure. I have had reason to use it almost every single day since so I guess what I am saying is Thank you, Grocery Store Lady Who Needed To Know How Wide a Baking Tray Was, you were so right and it has improved my life.