i would rather see the information for an event handwritten in sharpie on a paper towel than see another AI generated flyer

never ask a woman her age a man his salary your mutual how late it is in her timezone when she starts posting about that bisexual man

i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”

was just getting my face painted by a kid at a face paint booth and while they were painting a snake on my cheek they said "you're like the stillest person i've ever painted" and i love getting complimented so much i will hold onto this forever. got a good grade in getting my face painted. no one is doing it like i am. do you think you're stiller than me? i have to laugh.

i'm such yayybait. i'm such yippee!bait. i love to become ensnared in delight

The internet is a device which can be used to contact lesbians