i'm no phantom

A dragon hearse… a dragon hearse with harpoon launchers

it undoubtedly is…… a dragon hearse with harpoon launchers

like if a drink is gonna taste bad, then I want it to at least Fuck Me Up, and if a drink isn’t gonna fuck me up, then i want it to taste real nice. but you can’t have a drink that both fails to fuck you up, AND fails to taste good. that’s cheating. and that’s beer.

If brains are biological computers, why don’t we lag?

You can’t tell me you’ve never walked into a room and forgotten why you’re there or lost a train of thought for a few seconds

Once when I was driving home from school I had a brief moment of panic because I thought I’d forgotten my car at school

can a human brain run doom

date a girl who teleports around the room erratically when she gets anxious

Bitch that’s an enderman

date an enderman

Doesn’t look safe for a mortal.

if you sit there you belong to the fae

That’s the Fae’s problem

That is such a strong, bold, confident statement and I respect you for it.

oh god this is too much of a mood

i know jaskier is decently well known in canon but like... HOW well known? because i keep imagining geralt being like "oh yeah and this is my traveling companion" and you look and it's just like the fantasy equivalent of beyonce

Me whenever I run into someone from high school

It gets even funnier because I read ‘homophones’ as ‘homophobes’ and it took me a second to realize my mistake.