smellie

“covered in blood” is an ideal state for a girl to be in if you see a girl covered in blood you know she is having a good time

women are like diamonds: synthetically-produced women are not meaningfully different from naturally-formed women, and anyone trying to tell you otherwise is probably trying to justify keeping their women mines open

im quitting tumblr

ok see u tomorrow

this post is now 10 fucking years old

World Heritage Post

it's meee I'm your guardian angel hiiiiii 😇 okay🙏 so. in about six months, you're gonna die of starvation. 🥺 and if I don't protect you, I will get: #fired! 🫢 and that is No Good 🙅‍♀️ hahaaa So. 🙏 I looked into causes of starvation, and it turns out: Your death is totally preventable! 😯 Uh oh! 😆 There's more than enough food to sustain you without interfering with anyone else's survival, but you're not allowed to have it! 🤨 Whaaat? 🤷‍♀️ Apparently, your death is premeditated by thousands of things called "shareholders." So. 🙏 I've been killing people,

thug it out ellen

World Heritage Post

cosigned, good work everyone, have your bricks at the ready when they try it again.

they keep trying to take me root vegetables

I'll be honest I don't remember writing this

A PORN BOT UNFOLLOWED ME?

Where’s the YA protagonist teen girl and her two boyfriends that are supposed to save us from this mess anyways

The dystopia books lied. The teen throuples aren’t coming to save us.

Save me teen dystopia love triangle

Teen dystopia love triangle save me

if it wasn’t for some kind of brain disease, we would all have forgotten this punchline. everyone say thank you some kind of brain disease

still getting notifications from this post 12 years later…… will i ever be free…..

happy 13 years to Hangin with Yo frienz

oh great

what's your "if I won the lottery I wouldn't tell anyone but there would be signs" thing? mine is getting a fully green kitchen