I went to my doctor today to tell him about how my new medication is not! Working! And how I am facing strange new occasionally debilitating rage that festers inside me and then releases in passive aggressiveness to people I care about and I said this and then he said, well do you want to change to something else? And I said, it’s only been seven days. I don’t know what to do. He laid out all the options and I second guessed and said “I guess I’ll wait it out for another week?” And he very skeptically and kindly looked at me and said, even if you want to change tomorrow, that’s okay. It’s okay if you want to change this evening. Just call the office. Which I thought sounded very nice. Then I walked home and realized I’m not fooling anyone. I’m not fooling him, that’s for sure. Then I immediately became silently enraged at my coworker and had to listen to “Sangsu Station” 5 times in a row. It’s a great very silly song to calm down to. And now I think I have to change my medication.
