poolside convo bout your summer last night

She didn't even do any stunts like her cart wheeling cladsmates because she's as athletic as a plank of wood GOD

Oh yeah Augustus fell into the chocolate river but everyone acted so flat I didn't even realise

WIDEST I'VE SMILED ALL PLAY: MY SISTER IS ONE OF THE OOMPA LOOMPAS

Did nobody think the concept of Oompa Loompas was racially uncomfortable or no who am I kidding the teacher is a white Canadian

Man the girl next to me has hella charms on her Pandora bracelet I'm jealous

You can tell they overly practised this song these kids are loud asf. Still bad but louder.

These parents have to be forcing their laughter or maybe you stop having the sense of humour of someone sentient once you have children

The Charlie is a very darling kid, though

This has been the longest half hour of my life

My sister is on stage again. I could tell because she still hasn't fixed her caveman posture

As if the kids being Mumbling Martins wasn't bad enough, there's a fucking toddler snoring behind me

The Mike casting was spot on though

They couldn't even give Violet actual gum to chew? CHEAP.

It doesn't help the budget has clearly downgraded since *I* had my play. We had an actual stage at a local secondary, for one. Instead of performing in the school gym