ahaha crap

if you dissociate hard enough you can eavesdrop on conversations you’re a part of

i don’t remember making this post

you made the claim and then you proved it

fellas, this is the dream

this is a personal attack

immovable object is an amazing description for a person who once said “I don’t think our death ray is working. I’m standing right in it, and I’m not dead yet.”

Gonna b honest. A lot of hot ppl go to art museums. I’m one of them

im 2 ugly they won’t let me in

that and my shirt that says “i eat oil paintings when security guards aren’t looking”

Listen i understand this is a surreal joke, but like i cant stop imagining qhat would happen if u actually showed up to a major art museum with that shirt. Like not a tiny art museum. What would happen if you showrd up to the Met Museum of Art wearing a shirt that said “i eat oil paintings when security guards arent looking”? They cant just ignore it. But like, are they gonna deny you entry over what is clearly a joke shirt. Do they have u wayched. Its 2 am and i need to

bro these days i’m ready to go to bed at like 7 pm

IT KISSES THE STUFFED ANIMALS AND TELLS THEM IT LOVES THEM

this bird is too sweet and I hope this cruel world never crushes their spirit

why do people try to pit star wars and star trek against each other when we all know damn well jim kirk would be all over that psychic twink with a laser sword

on all levels except physical I’m already retired and living in a cozy cottage where I grow plums in my garden

anyone who was team jacob in their twilight phase ended up being gay