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Creature Pack by Alexander Trufanov

Finally, a sane celebrity who doesn’t bend the knee to feminist bullshit.

When Brad Pitt did Fight Club, he was cutting weight for every single scene to maintain his physique at 155. I’ve you’ve ever cut weight, you know how horrible that must have been. He did it because they needed a “look”.

Changing Tatum said his Magic Mike body doesn’t last for more than five days. He starved down and dehydrated his already fit physique for a “look”.

The male soldiers on Spartacus: Blood and Sand were eating pretty much chicken and veggies for every meal to maintain a “look”.

Yeah, he is ripped, isn’t he?

Well, it is true, but to get that kind of definition, he went through 36 hour period of dehydration, which caused him to temporarily lose 10 pounds of “water weight”. 

Thus during the fight scene he was filming, he was a hair breadth from blacking out whole time, just to look unrealistically muscular.

As he said during interview with Steven Colbert, “If You go three days without water, You will die. Then, when You are halfway there they shout ‘Roll it!”

It’s the same with professional bodybuilders who get into periods of extreme fasting and dehydration to lower their fat-to-muscle ratio to inhuman levels, all in hopes of making their muscle definition a bit better.

According to experts, healthy body fat percentage for a healthy male ranges from 8% to 20%, depending on height, lifestyle and numerous other variables. 

Fitness model and professional bodybuilder Helmut Strebl also known as “World’s Most Shredded Man” as he supposedly managed to get his body fat percentage below 5%…

… But only when he partakes in competitions, since it is not humanly possible to live with such low fat percentage of one’s body for longer periods of time.

I mean, yeah, he keeps a draconian training regime, as well as a very strict diet even off-season, but looks much more human then…

There are documented cases of incredibly fit and muscular bodybuilders fainting on the stage in the middle of their flexing routines, as well as several who outright died, because of cardiac arrest caused by their blood becoming too thick, due to long dehydration…

And let’s not forget about Muscle Dysmorphia, colloquially known as “Megarexia” or “Bigarexia”.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muscle_dysmorphia

Yeah, it’s a thing, but it’s barely talked about, since it’s apparently not manly to admit to having problems like that, which also creates problems with researching this particular disorder…

one of the reasons producers get away with this in men and no one criticizes it is because we are fed the lie that this body type is 1) attainable and 2) healthy.

Anyone with a name that starts with a “Z”, ends with an “i”, and isn’t some kind of Italian pasta, IS SERIOUS

Obi Wan: Ah, silly me. Thank you, Cody.

Rex, *yeeting Anakin’s severed hand at his face*: Hey, I think you dropped something. Again.

Anakin: Than— why are the fingers flipping me off?

But turning to the dark side changed his physical appearance. Most notably his eyes, which became yellow (a very typical Sith transformation in many species)

And while I know that Wookies are not supposed to be able to be force sensitive and therefore cannot become Jedi or Sith, all I am saying is that

*RARE* John Denver & Johnny Cash - Take Me Home Country Roads

“There are no happy endings. Endings are the saddest part, So just give me a happy middle And a very happy start.”

-Shel Silverstein, Every Thing on It. 

One time, the 501st breaks a siege on a planet somewhere and Rex and the guys are down on the surface doing a little mop-up/taking a breather and the locals are being super friendly and grateful to the troops. A little girl with a little stuffed loth cat comes up to Rex and asks him if it was scary to fight the droids.

“‘course it’s scary. But it’s what we were made to do.” Rex says. “We do it all the time.”

“Oh.” the girl says. “That’s very brave of you.”

“uhhh…. thanks, kid.”

“You shouldn’t have to be scared all the time.”

“It’s not really-” but the girl cuts him off by shoving her loth cat doll in his face.

“HERE!”

“what”

“Here you go! This is Bunny Princess. When I’m scared, i give her a big hug. And then it’s not so bad.”

“er, okay.” Rex takes the plush kitty and gives it a hug. Then offers it back to the girl.

“No, you have to keep her!” she insists. “So next time you have to fight the droids, you won’t be scared!” She looks so earnest and serious that Rex can’t say no.

“Thank you,” he tells her. “I’m sure that… Bunny Princess… will give us a tactical advantage in future battles.” (Rex maybe isn’t? the best? with kids? but they seem to love him anyway)

Rex tucks Bunny Princess into his armor and forgets about her until he gets back to the ship. He’s undressing in his quarters when he pulls the loth-cat out. He smiles to himself. It’s a bit silly, honestly, but the kid was cute. He throws Bunny Princess on his bed. 

Anakin catches it and gives Rex a Look. “Rex. What is this.”

“Hug it, sir.”

“Rex, this is stupid. I’ve got a lot on my plate”

“HUG IT”

“Rex, i’m not hugging a stupid-” “HUG THE KRIFFING KITTY, GENERAL”

So Anakin hugs the kitty. And maybe it’s the fact that Rex is offering him the same thing he offers his little brothers when they’re upset, maybe it’s the fact that he takes the time to just BREATH for a moment, maybe it’s the love and comfort and emotional support embedded into that cat along with the snot and tears of half the 501st, but Anakin realizes that he’s not alone. He doesn’t have to go through this without support. There are people he can reach out to, there are steps he can take without risking the judgement of the Council. And now that he thinks about it, Palpatine is not one of those people. What was he thinking? Was he genuinely going to accept a Sith Lord’s offer of help, and actually expect him to keep his word? That would be stupid. Padme hasn’t seen any doctors except a med droid since her pregnancy began, because they’ve been trying to keep it a secret. But maybe her life is worth more than her career and Anakin’s place in the order. He should really talk to her and get her to see a medical professional. Maybe she should hug the kitty, too. And he’s going to tell Mace Windu about Palpatine, but obviously it would be stupid to charge into his office to try to arrest or kill him- he’s been in power for decades, he’s obviously got contingency plans for that. They’ll have to be a bit sneakier, but he’s sure they’ll figure out something. Once Obi-Wan gets back, of course.

Points of support:

1: Rex is absolutely terrible at a) talking to random people not in his chain of command and b) refusing small cute children literally anything

2: Rex spends an alarming percentage of his life screaming in his head.  He needs a karking hug.

3: If Bunny Princess was a gift, it will be the most meticulously maintained old plush doll in Republic space.  Easily able to last multiple wars

4: ‘Tactical Advantage’ is Rex’s cover-all term for ‘Whatever it is I want to do’.  Equivalent to Because Shut Up

5: A+ Rex will always share the comforting thing with his troopers.  In supervised doses of course, Bunny Princess’ custody would also be meticulously maintained so as to be available for as many troopers as possible

6: Anakin spends an alarming percentage of his life screaming at other people.  He needs a karking hug.

7: Rex has earned his own brain cell and during the war became the part-time custodian of Anakin’s.  If Rex says he needs to hug this thing, it is very likely because doing so Will Provide A Tactical Advantage

8: Anakin does not know what Rex really means by Tactical Advantage

9: All this series needed was 1 blinding moment of common sense.  Literally Anakin you have the actual answers, sit for a gosh darned second and karking think

10: Rex is, of course, the again sadly uncredited only reason anything ever gets done correctly