a can of .

There once was a singer of old, Who then broke away from the fold, He won’t give you up, He won’t let you down, In a word you have been limerick-rolled.

How dare you make me read this with my own two eyes…

today I found out my mother doesn’t know what dandelions are and now I’m wondering what other strange secrets she’s been quietly harboring

Where do you live that you don’t have dandelions?

we have dandelions EVERYWHERE, they are basically our State Weed, it is absolutely impossible that my mom has never interacted with a dandelion before, this requires further investigation

See, folks in the southern US will tell you up and down those are buttercups, actually.

Wait I thought those bigger cup ones were Easter Lillies???

They’re marigolds and I know a bitch when I see one!

….we need to start taking the phrase “go touch grass” more literally. go outside and examine a flower i beg u

*squints* is that a motherfucking EVENING PRIMROSE?!??

#amazing work everyone hit the flowers

What a lovely little post you have here! *Drinks up its wordjuice to add it to my lexicon like some form of Vernacula*

*Sinks my teeth into your vocabillaries*

Everything feels ridiculous distasteful awful they fucked up when they made me I think

Harry du Bois would say this.

"wow ur so good at math" ah ha but you see. you dont ever get good at math. you stay bad, but now youre bad at harder math

Bet it feels good as fuck to be disassembled, cleaned and then reassembled as a firearm

this is why they shouldn’t have banned normal porn

no amount of cishets going to plapsburg could ever distract me from the cold certainty of steel

they want you to make fried rice

who is "they"

the wok left

how am I supposed to make fried rice if the wok left

how does anyone even do stuff

we may never know

Fuck...

"AMAB" i mean so what. i was jaundiced at birth too but nobody seems to want to assign social significance to that. they should though. they should assert that i will always have a jaundiced soul no matter how much urine i process. and mock me for my weak faggot kidneys #myweakfaggotkidneys

online pal said "[medications] to go" and I'm giggling at the idea of going to the pharmacy and having medications "for here." I sit down at a plastic chair and table with a plate full of antipsychotics and take them one by one while chatting with a college classmate I'm trying to fuck

I relate to the Dr. Who part, both with having different me's and texting like a vaguely british jackass

the oldest reblogs for this post that i can find are from january 2nd of 2013. this can has been getting kicked around tumblr for almost 13½ years now

And yet somehow this is my first time kicking it!

ID. photo of an open tin can. End ID.

i bet it feels good as fuck to intend to do something and then actually do it