Mostly Lurking

Please help my autistic sister survive benefit sanctions!!

Monday, May 25th: Hello, everyone. I'm Gem, and I am trying to set up a crowdfunding campaign for my sister Cheryl, as Universal Credit recently sanctioned her for 91 days, and she needs urgent help to survive the coming months.

My sister, who is in her 30s and autistic, recently caught the flu. While she was unwell, her unemployment advisor requested that she submit her CV for a job application. Unfortunately, due to her illness, this important task slipped her mind, and she ended up applying a few days later than expected. As a result, she has been sanctioned for 91 days, until July 15th, leaving her with a minimal welfare payment of just £7 for the entirety of May and June. (Photos above for details)

This is clearly not sufficient to cover her bills or purchase groceries. There are resources available for my sister to explore, such as the local food bank and the Scottish Welfare Fund. However, it’s important to note that she can apply for the SWF only three times within a year and cannot cite the same reason for assistance in consecutive applications. For instance, if she needs help with her bills now, she wouldn’t be able to use that same reason for her next application next month.

Thankfully, U.C will still pay her rent while under the benefit sanction. However, she is currently facing financial difficulties and lacks the funds to pay her other bills. She has an outstanding balance of £189.73 for her utilities, and an additional £214.91 in other direct debits, for which evidence can be provided.

I know this is a lot to ask, but if anyone could spare any amount to help my sister get by, even if it’s just £1/$1/€1, it would mean a lot, and sharing helps just as much. 

Thank you ❤️

£0/£500!!

Monday, May 18th: Hello, everyone. I’m Gem, a bi, mentally ill, and disabled woman in desperate need of help, as I'm drowning in debt and I need help paying bills this month!!

I'm sorry that I have to e-beg again. However, as most of you know from my previous posts, I have been struggling to make ends meet while on welfare. Due to my outstanding bills and ever-increasing debt, it has been incredibly difficult for me to make ends meet. With the rising cost of living, I have been relying on my credit cards to pay bills and simply get by on a day-to-day basis.

This has cost me a great deal, and repaying them is more than I can afford. On top of that, I've also had a few health scares these past few months, and I've had to make numerous trips to and from the hospital, which resulted in being diagnosed with NAFL (Non-alcoholic Fatty Liver), which could turn into liver disease if I'm not careful.

With the burden of debt weighing heavily on me, it is becoming increasingly difficult to manage everything alone. I shared my situation in a previous post in hopes of finding assistance with my outstanding debt, but I didn't make much progress. So, I've decided to remake my post with this month's bills in mind. I don’t receive my welfare until the 29th, and I have several bills due on the 27th, and I desperately need help to pay them!!

Again, I know this is a lot to ask, but if anyone could spare any amount to help me, even if it’s just £1/$1/€1, it would mean a lot, and sharing helps just as much. 

Thank you ❤️

£12.50/£257!!

I'm terrified that I won't be able to pay my rent & bills this month!!

Thursday, March 19th: Hello, everyone. I’m Gem, a bi, mentally ill, and disabled woman in desperate need of help, as I'm struggling to pay some bills, which have caused me to go into the negative.

I apologise for asking for help again. As most of you know from my previous posts, I have been struggling to make ends meet while on welfare. And due to my outstanding bills and ever-increasing debt, it has been difficult for me to make ends meet. These past few months have been absolute hell, and with no other income, I've been relying on the kindness of others to get by.

However, I desperately need that kindness again, as bills that I didn't realise were due have been charged to my account. And I've tried really hard to put off making this post and deal with the overdrawn balance myself, but I'm really struggling, as I can't possibly pay this off on my own with the limited welfare I receive, which I don't receive until the 31st!!

Additionally, the longer I cannot clear this, more charges will be added to my account and I won't be able to pay my rent this month.

Again, I know this is a lot to ask, but if anyone could spare any amount to help me, even if it’s just £1/$1/€1, it would mean a lot, and sharing helps just as much. 

Thank you ❤️

£0/£182!!

I'm drowning in debt and urgently need help!!

Sunday, March 1st: Hello, everyone. I’m Gem, a bi, mentally ill, and disabled woman in desperate need of help, as I'm struggling to pay my bills this month.

I apologise for asking for help again. As most of you know from my previous posts, I have been struggling to make ends meet while on welfare. And due to my outstanding bills and ever-increasing debt, it has been difficult for me to make ends meet. These past few months have been absolute hell, and with no other income, I've been relying on the kindness of others to get by.

However, I desperately need that kindness again, as I wasn't able to pay off my bills last month, because I was behind on my rent, and I'm struggling quite a lot to pay them now. I owe £156.59 on my credit card and fees, due by March 16th; however, I don't receive my welfare until March 31st, and I desperately need help to cover it.

Again, I know this is a lot to ask, but if anyone could spare any amount to help me, even if it’s just £1/$1/€1, it would mean a lot, and sharing helps just as much. 

Thank you ❤️

£0/£157!!

I'm terrified that I won't be able to pay my rent & bills this month!!

Tuesday, February 17th: Hello, everyone. I’m Gem, a bi, mentally ill, and disabled woman in desperate need of help, as I'm struggling to pay my bills, which have caused me to go into the negative.

I apologise for asking for help again. As most of you know from my previous posts, I have been struggling to make ends meet while on welfare. And due to my outstanding bills and ever-increasing debt, it has been difficult for me to make ends meet. These past few months have been absolute hell, and with no other income, I've been relying on the kindness of others to get by.

However, I desperately need that kindness again, as the welfare I received last month wasn't enough to cover all my bills and rent, and a few of those bills have caused my account to go into the red. I don't receive my welfare again until the 27th, and I urgently need help covering this before I receive it or my welfare will be taken

Again, I know this is a lot to ask, but if anyone could spare any amount to help me, even if it’s just £1/$1/€1, it would mean a lot, and sharing helps just as much. 

Thank you ❤️

£0/£175!!

Don’t skip please 🙏💔

Hi all,I’m Huda from Gaza. My husband and I were eagerly waiting the arrival of our first child after 9 months of suffering, malnutrition, diseases,but I lost him last week. My first child died coz of this war. I suffered from blood poisoning and was given a blood transfusion after giving birth.

It’s not easy to wait your first child and suddenly you lose him💔😔 My husband and I have lost our first baby after 9 months of pregnancy 💔😔 so help us please to find a safe place and rebuild our lives 💔

For the sake of humanity help me and my husband, share and donate to be able to start again and rebuild our life please 🙏

Share please 🙏

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There is a fire in my heart that no one can see‼️

This is the Third time I’ve lived through the brutality of hunger its harshness, its silence.

I walk through the streets of the city and find nothing to feed my children.

🩸The first time was last year, when I documented my situation holding onto a piece of bread after over a month of deprivation.

🩸The second time was 6 months ago when I brought some flour for my family and I was very tired because it was a very long walk.

🩸Now, I’m reliving that same pain.

The helplessness before my children, the heartbreak, it feels like I’m failing as a father. This is the very definition of powerlessness. I am of no use to them.💔💔

*Do you feel the weight of this hunger in my heart?

*Can you hear the cries of my children’s empty stomachs?

*Is anyone out there listening?

*Can anyone help us or Or convey the voice of this hunger to those who can help us?

Please donate, we are in dire need of your humanity. I hope you will not leave us to die in this harsh hunger. We want to feel that there is someone we can rely on to lighten this burden a little.

My campaign is verified on Gazavetters under # (88).

Realising you have NPD can be incredibly heavy. It is very common to feel lost, afraid or angry about this condition, which might feel like it’s come out of nowhere. For many of us, identifying our NPD can cause an intense "narc crash" or ego collapse as we are confronted with an acknowledgment of our deepest wounds and flaws, accompanied with a damning narrative from the outside world that we are irreparably broken, evil, and so on...it can also be incredibly difficult to find support or help, as some therapists may refuse to work with us, and the internet is full of ableism and vitriol that encourages our suffering.

The heaviest part of my realisation was believing that having NPD meant I was unfixable and doomed to suffer forever, that I was trapped and would never be able to escape the pain I caused myself and others. It felt like confirmation of my deepest wounds: that I was inherently bad, fucked up, unlovable and rotten at my core. Due to the intense stigma NPD carries, I felt like I couldn’t tell a soul without being rejected and hated. I felt isolated and alone and what I really needed was someone to see me and say, "you're gonna be okay."

If you’ve recently discovered that you have NPD and you're feeling lost, alone, angry or confused, I wrote this post for you.

I know it does mean feeling extremely exposed and… probably still having an urge SCREAMING at you to fight back and reclaim the narrative but if you think you’ve found somebody you can trust enough then PLEASE allow yourself the space to speak candidly about that pain.

I’m not saying it’s easy: you WILL find yourself trying to turn things around again or play things off and probably not even realise you’re doing it, but the more they can understand the more you can gain some real control over how this shit impacts the way you interact with others and the world. Of course, as always do it at a pace you’re comfortable with, put up and figure out boundaries as you need to… but it’ll be worth the effort.

Grandiosity describes viewing oneself as superior, important, exceptional or special, particularly to an exaggerated degree. Although it is a common feature of NPD, grandiosity is not unique to NPD, and my question is open to anyone who experiences it!

People with NPD can experience grandiosity in different ways and to varying degrees. For some, their grandiosity can come across in their behaviour, but others may internally experience grandiose thoughts and feelings without outwardly expressing them. Grandiosity can also fluctuate, including becoming more intense during 'narc highs' or lessening during 'narc crashes'. Some people may be able to recognise that a grandiose thought or belief is false or unrealistic, whilst for others, they may be unable to see another reality.

To give some examples, grandiosity can make you feel invulnerable to harm, as though you cannot get hurt and things can't go wrong. Perhaps as though you will never run out of money, or nobody will ever deny you anything you ask for. It can feel like you are exceptionally talented, popular or powerful, like you could excel at anything you put your hand to, or that everyone you meet envies and admires you. People experiencing grandiosity might see themselves as royalty, gods, or superhuman. Some aspects of grandiosity can be amusing or enjoyable, but at other times, it can be distressing or even dangerous when our beliefs don't reflect reality.

I thought it would be interesting to discuss our experiences with grandiosity in the replies/reblogs and see how they differ and where there are similarities. As ever, you can respond with an anonymous ask if that is more comfortable for you!

Talking as someone who’s been speculating about being in the realm of ASPD and/or NPD for a while now, if I had to describe my experience with grandiosity… a lot of it kinda comes back to an idea of control.

Internally I see myself as just… terrible, frankly, an angry wretch who should have been dead a long time ago and have been extremely careful to cultivate something that very much ISN’T that. Someone in control of his emotions, who can speak about these things easily and with a glib sense of humour while being able to use that to uplift someone else and (many times) show off a pretty keen perceptiveness to their own emotional states. Makes me useful, makes me “more,” makes me worth a damn, you get the idea. It’s actually a bit of a problem on multiple levels because oftentimes if I don’t have that impetus then I can feel exceedingly empty towards someone. Not that I stop caring as such, I just… don’t feel like I have anything that I can talk to them about.