Gross habits of the Fellowship
per a conversation with @deheerkonijn about how we do not talk enough about the gross realities of a road trip … especially (not to gender stereotype) with nine guys
(list partially arbitrary, partially justified, and partially just what we thought was funny)
Aragorn: scratches himself whenever and wherever
Legolas: Picks his ears, also wipes his nose on his sleeve (Gimli and the hobbits are horrified by this)
Gimli: unabashedly Adjusts Himself (look, that armor can’t be comfortable). Also an occasional scratching offender.
Frodo: Silent But Deadly. Also never confesses to it.
Sam: spits. They all spit except for Legolas (look I know it’s mostly a chewing tobacco thing, but I think all that pipeweed has to do something), but Sam is the really gross one with the hairball sound effects beforehand.
Merry: snot rockets (Gimli is less scandalized by this than by Legolas’s gross snot habits, because at least it’s not involving any clothing). Can burp the alphabet.
Pippin: makes bodily noises not just out of necessity, but for comedic effect. Occasionally gets the giggles when someone else is indulging a Gross Habit.
Boromir: generally pretty decorous, but also can burp the alphabet. Gets in burping competitions with Merry.
Gandalf: chronic wet cough
all of them, every single one: absolutely no hesitation whatsoever in whipping it out on the side of the road for a potty break, whole conversations occur while five people are doing this all at once. perhaps there is crossing of streams. who knows.
Now go forth and do what you will with this information.
