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HOLY SHIT GUYS, I WAS INSPIRED BY THIS POST TO TRY MAKE THE SONG AND YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE THE SCREAM I SCRUMPT WHEN I DRAGGED THE TRAINING AUDIO OVER THE BACKING TRACK AND IT LINED UP PERFECTLY
I've never been a podcast person. I never felt like I could find one that was quite the right "vibe".
I didn't want to listen to an audio book, I didn't want someone to tell me how to "do better", I just wanted someone to talk about their experience in a broad way, in a way that could maybe help me navigate my own life (but not in a self help, this is how you should live your life way).
So I've never listened to many, believe me I tried, but I could never find one I'd rather listen to over my music.
Until I just sped through the 8 episode podcast NB: My Non-Binary Life all on one day. The podcast is hosted by Caitlin Benedict & Amrou Al-Kadhi, two non-binary individuals (Caitlin comes out during the recording of the podcast, while Amrou has been out for a while). The two of them dissect what it is to be non-binary, drag, and what it's like to live as a non-binary as an AFAB and an AMAB.
It was so interesting, so raw, and so real. I've never felt so at peace with who I can be, with who everyone is, and with the idea of the gender spectrum. I just feel like my eyes have been opened.
I would highly recommend this to anyone who is maybe questioning their gender, or just curious in hearing other people stories.
NB: My Non-Binary Life is available on Spotify, Apple podcasts, and BBC sounds, give it a listen!
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Ok, so hear me out: This is a new way to graph your gender, with a lot of possibilities. Gender charts exist, but they are either too complex or don't have much depth. I was tired of searching for a gender chart where I could list my actual gender on.
So, I've decided to make a gender spectrum of my own!
Why this might work for you:
â˘This is an easy way to graph your gender identity and expression.
â˘This gender graph is for everyone with any kind of gender. It's okay to not know every term that is listed here. Just fill in what you know, or maybe take a moment to study the terms that are new to you!
â˘You can fill in the scales however you like, or leave spaces open. It's all up to you!
This is how it works:
â˘On top, you get asked the question "what do you identify as?" The options listed are cisgender, transgender, nonbinary, intersex and other.
I separated nonbinary from transgender, since not every nonbinary person identifies as trans.
In the 'other' category you can think of terms like isogender and absgender.
â˘In the middle, you can graph your gender identity. There's a horizontal line from male to female, and a vertical line from agender to any other gender. Think of X-gender, aporagender, xenogender and many more.
In the middle of this graph, you find the term 'androgynous'. This is meant as a term for anyone who feels in between male or female. Intersex people might prefer the term intergender here.
â˘On the left side, you find the number of genders that you experience. This goes from 0, a half, one and multiple up to experiencing all genders at once.
â˘On the right side, you can graph your gender expression. Do you prefer to conform to a gender binary expression, or rather not? Yes is at the bottom (gender conforming), no is at the top (gender non-conforming).
â˘At the bottom, you find a question about if your gender is relevant to you or not. If not, you could be cassgender or apagender for example.
Please remember, you can pinpoint yourself anywhere on any of these scales!
Taking things to a deeper level:
If you are someone who understands there are many different kinds of gender, or if you are willing to learn about this, I made a gender spectrum chart especially for you:
If you feel ready to explore your gender identity or a deeper level, or learn about new gender terms, this is the way to do it!
It works the same as the gender graph listed above, but there is more depth to it and you find a lot of terms on there!
â˘Feel free to add even more terms yourself, or give me feedback on how I can make this chart even more inclusive!
â˘If you don't feel like this gender spectrum is something for you, please just continue scrolling. I've put many months of research into making this, so I'd like to see respectful comments only!
â˘If there are enough likes and reblogs on this post, I'll make even more accessible versions of the charts and add them to my socials and my soon to be released website! GO GO GO!!!
i'm reminded of those posts from trans women who stated in their experiences that by far most cis women they interact with in person aren't transphobic towards them. and that recent study that showed the uk population is more accepting of trans people than they perceive each other to be (ie 2 uk polls, "do you think most people are trans friendly" vs "are you trans friendly"). i think there's more love and acceptance in this world than transphobes want you to believe. you are not as hated as legislators and conservative news outlets would lead you to believe.
You wonât see this every day but making sure the system cannot proceed unless women have a seat at the table is the best possibly thing you can do in a place of privilege.
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Love the argument "oh but if you transition you'll have to deal with being trans your whole life" because first of all there is nothing bad about being trans and second I'm still gonna be trans even if I don't medically transition I'll just be trans and miserable instead of trans and happy
Every time I hear someone say something like this I remember that one exerpt from that one book in which the author considers Gomez Addams as a trans man specifically because he has the energy of a guy who wakes up every day absolutely over the moon to discover that he gets to be a man with a family and a moustache and a wife who's taller than god yet again, and it becomes painfully apparent that people who say these things don't understand transness at all.
EDIT: I found it! Here it is!
An excerpt from the essay âPowerful T4T Energy in Steve Martinâs The Jerkâ by Daniel M. Lavery, from his book Something That May Shock and Discredit You.
I saw something in the news today that truly took my breath away. If you have been paying attention to U.S. politics over the past few days, youâve most likely seen this woman:
This is Bishop Mariann Budde, and on Monday (Trumpâs inauguration) she led an interfaith prayer for Trump and the incoming administration. During the service she asked him to have mercy for LGBTQ+ Americans and undocumented immigrants. This was badly received by the Trump administration (as expected).
After seeing headlines about this woman, I read something that I wanted to share. In 1998 a man named Matthew Shepard was murdered for being gay. Iâm not going to get into the details of his death on this post, but please be warned it is extremely triggering if you do choose to read more on your own. Matthew Shepardâs death caused a lot of change in the U.S. regarding how LGBTQ hate crimes are handled, and laws that were passed to protect LGBTQ+ people.
Now youâre probably wondering what Matthew Shepard has to do with an Episcopal bishop. For years after Matthew Shepardâs murder, his family had held onto his remains, too scared to lay him to rest in fear of his final resting place being vandalized. In 2018, Budde had his remains interred at the National Cathedral, which is also the place where the interfaith prayer for Trump and his administration took place. The impact of this really had an effect on me. Budde could have led a non confrontational prayer service, and chosen not to mention the harm that will come to the people Trump and his administration are going after. Instead she chose to call out hate and fear in front of some of the most powerful people on the planet, and at a place that has such a large historic meaning to the LGBTQ community.
In the next few years there will be many challenges in protecting free speech, standing up against hate, and protecting those in our communities. But I would like to believe that for every Donald Trump and Elon Musk, there are people like Marianne Budde. There are those of us who canât speak up for themselves, so itâs important for those of us who can to amplify our voices, even if itâs not the âpopularâ thing to do.
âAnd he said you should apologize. Will you apologize?
I am not going to apologize for asking for mercy for others.â - Mariann Buddeâs response in a Time interview
Link to articles: x x x
Link to the Matthew Shepard Foundation if you would like to donate
Right now, the world of trans and nonbinary folks feels smallâtoo small to push back against a system designed to isolate and conquer. The far-rightâs divide-and-conquer strategy has long splintered marginalized groups, pulling friends and allies apart to weaken us. But this moment demands a reframing of the fight: this battle is not men versus women, or even male versus female. That war is last centuryâs story. The real gender binary today draws different battle linesâand opens the door to powerful resistance.
The real gender binary pits âreal manly menââcisgender, heterosexual, white, Christian nationalist menâagainst everyone else. These men hoard power, demand deference, and gatekeep leadership while ensuring those outside their ranks fight over scraps. They dictate who gets to succeed, who gets to speak, and who gets to exist safely. Their patriarchy isnât just about controlling women; itâs a more generalized sexism. Itâs about controlling anyone who doesnât conform to, or bow down to their idealized masculinity. They build walls, expel interlopers, and mock challengers from a pedestal of entitlement and fear.
If this is the real gender binaryâreal manly men versus everyone elseâthen suddenly, trans and nonbinary people arenât so small. Weâre part of a massive coalition of âeveryone else.â And within that realization lies the seed of resistance.
â The Real Gender Binary And the Path to Resistance by Kate Bornstein on substack
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Leelah was a 17-year-old trans girl from Ohio. Her parents didnât support her. They even sent her to conversion therapy to stop her from being attracted to boys and from being trans. She committed suicide in December 2014. She wrote in her note that she hoped her death would mean something and that things would get better for trans people.
Nex Benedict was a 16-year-old child from Oklahoma. Their family loved them. They were indigenous. They had things that they did for fun, hobbies, a cat they loved. They were bullied at school, and they died from that in February 2024.
Nex and Leelah died nearly a decade apart. They were both trans. They are both dead. The world failed them both.
i went to a vigil for nex last night. i needed to feel alive and part of my community so thats why i went. the rage i felt when i heard about their death makes me want to live my life to its fullest. as i go about my openly queer nonbinary life im holding a bit of nex with me. i see them when i think back to my teenage years, barely out but already proud. i see them in the teen intern at my work, black and nonbinary and outspoken just like me. and i see them in my community and my friends i hold dear. so yeah we are all living a little harder for nex benedict, and for leelah alcorn, and for brandon teena. because what other option is there?
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