Some tips, rants, and other things about being, or knowing, a genderfluid individual. Submissions and asks are welcomed! He/they/xie/she (ask if you want any pronounciations/usage things!)
Please do NOT interact if your blog contains sex/fetish posts. I'm not personally comfortable with these things and I look at followers blogs to try and make sure that my content doesn't end up somewhere that I don't want it to be. (Not your blog specifically, but I have to check for anti-trans or TERF blogs and often run into these sorts of things)
I don't mean to insult anyone, but the several sissy blogs I found following me made me deeply uncomfortable and I don't want that again.
Sorry if I'm offending anyone, feel free to unfollow. But I don't want to see nudity or have my blog associated with one that posts nudity or lewdness.
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This isn't what I usually post but Idk I was feeling poetic today. This is mainly about how I feel about my body. There's so much about body positivity, which is amazing and helps a lot of people, but I've always been mainly neutral about my body with some days being better or worse. It gets me where I need to be. It allows me to do the things I want to do. So this is a little glimpse of that, I guess. I'm not sure it makes much sense and I know it probably won't get seen by many, but if there's anyone else who can relate to it, then I guess it's worth sharing <3
Warnings: talk of body image, food mentioned very briefly, negative talk about self-image, (I truly don't know what else to tag so if there's something you need tagged, feel free to let me know)
Word count: 626
I don’t love myself
But I don’t hate myself either.
Most days, when I look into the mirror, I see a body, a face, two eyes, and a mouth.
But, some days,
I look at those features,
I look at my body, that face, those eyes, and that mouth,
And I’m gentle with myself.
I look at my face and love the softness I find there.
Love the soft blush that brushes over it
Love how it glows when it’s happy
I look at my eyes and love how the light reflects in them
Love the green that tints their irises
Love how they dance when they’re glad
I look at my lips and love how supple they seem to be
love the gentle pink that colors them.
Love how they curve when they smile
I look at my body and love the gentle curves that define it
Love how tender it feels under my touch
Love how it shivers when it’s delighted.
However, most days, they’re just the parts that make up my face.
That make up myself.
But then, some days, I look at those features
I look at my body, that face, those eyes, and that mouth,
And I nitpick every single one.
I look at my face and find the imperfections,
The red splotches
The way it seems too round to be considered pretty
I look at my eyes and find how they’re lacking
The dull sheen that they often wear
The way they seem too murky to be considered beautiful
I look at my mouth and find all the flaws
The chapped scars from worrying them too often
The way they seem too uneven to be considered lovely
I look at my body and see what others have told me is wrong
The marks that stretch across it
The way it seems too bulky to be considered delicate
However, most days they’re just the parts that make up my body.
That make up myself.
I don’t love myself
But I don’t hate myself either.
And maybe that’s ok.
Because those parts of myself are what allow room for me,
And I do love me.
I love her even when she can’t look at myself in the mirror;
I don’t need to look at myself to know I need to take care of it.
I love her even when she nitpicks myself too harshly to be fair;
I don’t need to love myself to make sure it functions right.
I love her even when she gets lost in the reflection, looking for beauty wherever she can;
I do not need to know what she finds to make sure she gets what she deserves.
And she deserves
So much.
She deserves gentleness
She deserves health
She deserves love
She deserves.
So, I will feed myself.
I will give it water.
I will make sure it exercises.
I will listen to its needs, even when I feel nothing for it.
I will take care of myself
For her.
For me.
I will take care of myself so the me that lives inside it gets all that she deserves
So that she can prosper and be content and love and cry and feel and live.
I don’t love myself.
I don’t hate myself either.
I look in the mirror and see a body, a face, two eyes, and a mouth.
But I love me.
And how it feels to be her
And how it feels to be alive.
So I will do my best to take care of it,
So that I can do my best to take care of her.
I will do my best to take care of them both together.
i want to ask my parents to get a specific haircut close to a pixie cut. i have been wanting a haircut like it for what feels like forever now, but im worried they are not going to be accepting or let me get it at all (they are very strict and also homophobic). i am searching for advice on what to do!
You could try showing off actresses or other famous people who have short haircuts similar to what you want! If your parents see that it's not only a gender-related or alternative style, they might be more accepting of the haircut.
Tiktokers not being able to comprehend sexuality and trans identities being wild and confusing and intersecting with each other instead of being sorted into near little boxes is so insane. Like breaking the boxes wasn’t the point in the first place??
And the way they try to “break boxes” is also in such a methodical box way. “Well he/him pronoun users can be lesbians because non-binary people can use any pronouns they want and lesbians are non men loving non men.” It’s like guys… you don’t have to justify this…. Guys can be lesbians this shit doesn’t have to make sense. Queerness was never about clear identities with rules
This applies to ace and aro identities too btw. If someone says they are ace or aro and then say something you consider "contradictory" to their identity maybe sit for a second and self reflect on why you think it's possibly your business
I have always used they/them pronouns and I very much dislike she/her or he/him pronouns on myself, but I do like being called sir or king/prince as well as girlfriend/wife (just to name a few examples).
Do you happen know what this means?
Well, sometimes people have different opinions on pronouns vs. titles. Because these words can have different implications, even if they're typically gendered, they can have different feelings to you and therefore change if you're okay with them being applied to you.
Also, you may want to consider things such as demi-genders, since the application of both more neutral and more gendered terms may feel like a demi-gender to you.
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I'm coming to terms that I am a Genderfluid person I felt that this label suits me than any other label but at the same time, sometimes I feel I maybe faking because i don't remember how or when my gender change. I just don't. Sometimes when I look in the mirror I start to cuss why I look like a girl (afab btw) that's when I realise okay I feel more masc today or non binary today.
That happens very often! For many genderfluid people, gender switches can be suble, and you only notice when there's an obvious show to gender such as seeing yourself in the mirror or having a social situation where gender is involved. A lot of the time it's sudden gender dysphoria, but it can happen with euphoria too.
Hey there, so a couple months ago I came out as pansexual, and where since then I had deeper thoughts on which gender term would be right for me. Since I was a child I have been uncomfortable with being called girl/women, but sometimes I would feel uncomfortable being called a guy/boy sometimes as well. Also, sometimes I would feel uncomfortable presenting myself as feminine and sometimes masculine other times. Do you think there is a more fitting label for me other than gender-fluid?
Hmm well from what I know just from here, it sounds like genderfluid could be a very fitting label. But if you don't feel like it's yours, that's okay too!
You could experiment with labels such as genderflux (feeling a change in gender between ~two genders often between agender and a stronger gender expression, dimmer switch analogy) or bigender (feeling two genders, often simultaneously) or a less specific term such as non-binary or queer.
Obviously I don't know all of the possible genders or labels you might be interested in identifying with, so I suggest looking at different labels to experiment.
Hi, I'm genderfluid and I am mostly on the masc or genderless side of things. So I want to get top surgery one day to make sure I have a flat chest. However there are few (and I mean very few) occasions where I want a small chest. If I got to surgery, would it be okay to occasionally stuff a bra so I have a somewhat chest? Or is that not something I can do? Thanks, 🎧 (also do you do emoji claims, and if so can I claim this one).
I do emojii claims! And yes!
And you definitely can! Many people like to have that flexibility for their expression, and there are no rules with your own gender expression.
Especially being genderfluid, your gender and expressions can be so flexible or, you know, fluid! And whatever makes you feel comfortable in your body is definitely something to do!
I think ive got a confusing situation. I am afab, but have thought I was trans/nonbinary for a long time now, so much that I had an adversion to ever identifying as a girl. And since it turns out I'm genderfluid and have she/her days, but sorta represed it. I think it started to come out in the form of feeling like a trans woman. Afab feeling like a trans woman. It seems like it should be wrong but thats how I feel. Do you think this is just an unhealthy response to not accepting when im a girl?
Okay, I have had these asks for forever, and I've been thinking about this sort of thing a lot. I had to put a lot of thought into this because I often feel the same way. But I've realized a couple of things.
First of all, especially when it comes to how you feel about your own gender, no one can tell you that your feelings are "right" or "wrong." Your feelings are your own, and you're allowed to feel them however you like.
Secondly, cis people feel this way too! I know it's not necessarily the greatest example, but when a cis man feels tough for lifting something heavy or a cis woman smiles at how pretty her makeup looks, that's still gender euphoria! (I know I'm giving very stereotypical examples, it's just for simplicity.)
You can feel euphoria for any gender, gender expression, or anything. Have fun with what you do :)
i’ve been feeling so confused about my gender and i dont know why. i always thought of myself to be not female nor male, but recently i have been having strong urges of cutting my hair really short or in a male-style cut and i’ve been looking at tomboy outfits.
i don’t feel comfortable as a female and i don’t feel comfortable as a male. i like sticking in between, but the thoughts of leaning more towards one side is making me overthink how i feel about myself.
i’m just lost and my head kinda hurts from it all. and i guess what i’m really asking is: what should i do to find myself? or how do i get rid of all this confusion?
thank you for your time.
I can definitely understand a lot of this, and I see where you're coming from.
This can definitely be a situation where gender identity is different from gender expression. In this case, just because you want to dress/appear more masculine doesn't mean that you are male. If it helps, you can think of very feminine guys or masculine women you've seen. They still feel sure in their binary gender, but with the "opposite" expression. You being in between doesn't change your ability to do the same.
You can try seeing others' gender expression, even including drag if you want, and comparing that to differences in gender identity.
And I know it's very hard, but try not to stress too much about changing/confusing gender situations. Gender is an experience that's different for everyone, and it can be fun! Often times, these things take time. Let yourself explore how your gender works, and how you can be comfortable and even euphoric. Enjoy yourself!
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Hi, I'm like completely new to this. A couple of days ago I started questioning my gender identity and I'm just so confused and scared. I guess I'm just being overwhelmed with all of this new information and trying to understand how I feel. I usually identify as a girl but I've just noticed that sometimes I really want to be a boy. Like really. Like I'd like to have a dick. I have these thoughts in which I imagine me being a pretty boy, and they kinda make me feel good. So I would just like to ask you if you had any tips for me since I guess you've been here before.
I'm sorry you sent this in so long ago and I didn't get to it. I hope you've been able to find good resources since then but still answering to help you or others.
Figuring out your gender might differ from your agab can be a really confusing and disorienting experience. Especially because, for many people, it's something they've never thought of before, so when you look closer at it and think about it more, you can feel stronger internal expressions of your gender. I know that I never experienced an almost phantom limb for masculine genitalia until after I had been questioning. Whether or that that was partially because of puberty too, I'm not sure.
Keeping a journal of gender examinations and expressions, leaving yourself with a flexible wardrobe suited to whatever you might want to wear, and experimenting with what you like are all helpful tools to work towards you being comfortable with yourself.
"whats the point of transitioning if you aren't dysphoric” what’s the point of eating a burger if you’re not starving to death. it looks yummy bitch
and don't only discuss microdosing standard HRT courses as the sole option for nonbinary HRT! it's an option, but not the only one and it won't work for all of us! so start also discussing alternative HRT courses and strategies!
someone whose body naturally produces more testosterone doesn't have to take only estrogen and an anti-androgen like spironolactone and accept full eventual feminization. they could instead choose to take something called Selective Estrogen Receptor Modulators (SERMs), which act like estrogen in some parts of the body and like estrogen-blockers in other areas. that can create a more androgynous result than taking estrogen/spiro.
someone whose body naturally produces more estrogen doesn't have to take only testosterone and accept full eventual masculinization. they could choose to take a Dihydrotestosterone (DHT) blocker alongside their course of testosterone, which will prevent most or all of effects from the DHT which is naturally metabolized from the testosterone they take. that can create a more androgynous result than taking testosterone alone.
someone could also choose to take one form of HRT for a while, and then later add another hormone, remove one, and/or switch to a different form entirely after achieving a particular desired result. they could also, as mentioned above, take the microdosing approach. there isn't much official research into any of these treatments for trans purposes, sure, but that doesn't mean you have to be stuck between "no HRT even though you want it" and "HRT that you don't actually want" as your only options!
also remember that non-hormonal components of transition do not have to "match" the hormones someone is or is not taking! let us genderfuckers fuck our genders in peace!
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there's a Czech transdude in one of my servers who was like going through the complex process of trying to get binders from the UK and it's like my dude. that's gonna cost a fuck ton cuz of brexit shipping and so i told him about an online shop in amsterdam. in the process of getting that info one of the irl trans guys i know is like "i have two old binders from that shop, why don't we just mail it to him?"
so i'm mailing him two free binders (it'll be super cheap to send within' the eu) and in exchange i'm getting his grandma's secret recipe for Žemlovka
this is the pinnacle. community is actually about secret grandma recipes and sharing used gender affirming clothing
They're comfy, durable, discounted and full price options, swimming tops, mid length and long binders, sizing up to XXXL, and have other transgender items! Not just binders!
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