Life On Homeworld

yes

however we recently got her a new ceramic fountain that better suits her aesthetic

and her own fainting couch

but she still prefers a good lap whenever possible

*flashback*

...

Peter, vlogging for Spiderman's YouTube channel: so what I'm gonna do is CREATE A MAN-SIZED SLINGSHOT with my WEBS and then CATAPULT MYSELF ACROSS STARK INDUSTRIES' STORAGE UNIT, T-POSE IN MID AIR, and finally stick a PERFECTLY SAFE LANDING through that ONE OPEN WINDOW IN THE MARKETING BUILDING ON THE OTHER SIDE

...

*end flashback*

Doctor, suspiciously eyeing Peter's report which lists "closed window" as cause of fracture: actually, he-

yeet i finally drew my favorite au

this is the Connie swap au, but in this version Blue and Pink Diamond pretty much switch places, with Blue being the defective one instead of Pink

the war and stuff basically plays out the same, except Blue’s pearl chooses to stay on Homeworld instead of fighting alongside Blue (or “Agate”) and eventually ends up like Pink Pearl (being possessed by White for who knows how long)

Peter: I can take it

Happy: no matter how good a hero you were/are there's absolutely nothing you could've done that would have prevented Tony's death and throwing yourself headfirst into increasingly dangerous situations isn't making you a 'more competent hero' it's just distracting you from the pain of losing a third father figure and saving you the terrifying ordeal of having to accept that things are out of your control sometimes

Peter: