KILLING BEFORE KILLING WAS COOL.

lets see the hags at cvs try to decline my card now that ive got my severed warlock hand talisman

if you’re not busy later i was wondering if you’d like to spend the rest of our lives together

Good news for American minorities: shooter was white

He was registered Republican, but apparently also made a 15$ donation to the Biden campaign at one point. Average American swing voter.

at the start of the pandemic my friends and i kept sincerely going “at least people are being funny online” [nodding] “people are simply being so funny online” to each other in sombre tones over and over and over .and you know what. people are still being so fucking funny online

wasnt a failed assassination. it was a successful long-range ear piercing by a deranged claires employee. they force femmed him. because of woke

you know, I've been thinking, after this trail of carnage, I might just hang my sword up. just gotta slay these last few villains and I'll have evil solved, and there will be a place for me in this peaceful world I've created. with the sword.

what if i just rest my eyes for a second

what if i just check out whats going on under this cozy blankie for like a minute. two minute

oh no

i like to pretend i already died and asked god to send me back to earth so i can swim in lakes again and see mountains and get my heart broken and love my friends and cry so hard in the bathroom and go grocery shopping 1,000 more times. and that i promised i would never forget the miracle of being here

i think we shouod terraform earth to make it completely flat because itd be fun

i meant completely smooth but flat it actuwlly funnier

new flat earth thearoy: we could do it