My private universe

there are a lot of really good ancient roman laws but i think my favorite is that, if you got struck by lightening and died, you couldnt have a proper burial because it meant that the gods hated you

“Jupiter cancelled him and we’re not going to question that”

genuinely asking: how would these laws apply to that guy who got struck by lightning on seven separate occasions but survived every time?

I think I would have assumed Zeus was trying to fuck him.

worst possible response thanks so much

one of my patients came in for an emergency visit, because she snapped the wire on her retainer watching the movie when MBJ took his shirt off she clenched her teeth so fucking hard she snapped it. that is the fucking funniest shit ever to me this tiny 17 year old girl thirsting so goddamn hard she busted steel

We interviewed her, obviously.

Such a developing story.

I love this story

This was a wild ride from start to finish

I know I say this a lot, But this is one of the best things on this website

Sophia is currently doing great in college, and I still get about one kid a month in the office who asked if this really happened.

Lady in drive through had a bearded dragon sitting on her boobs and she held it up and let me pet it. killing myself canceled

"you don't like mpreg?" i don't even like fpreg

whats cool about being trans is my parents are totally right. i did kill their beautiful son. im the thing that animates his corpse in an ever more convincing parody of a happy girl. i devoured him from the inside out and now there is nothing left of him and he is dead dead dead and there is only me, with my hollow eyes and dark eyeliner and long hair, and my big smile. my limp, effeminate gestures belie the marionetting of the boy they loved. my fagginess is his death. already his body becomes a fitter home for my parasitism in full; the tits, the hips, the thighs. sorry about your kid. thanks for the biomass <3

Every time I read something like this I want to drive the 16 hours it would take to hug my step son and tell him how really glad I am he's here and that he looks so much happier now.

So wait are livestock guardian dogs to their flocks like… Clark Kent among the residents of Smallville? He’s been here since he was a baby, we all know him, and he’s… generally one-of-us shaped, uh, approximately. And then when something goes wrong he suddenly leaps into action and does some terrifying impossible shit none of us could do. And then comes back home and settles in like nothing happened and he’s one of us again.

being a kid and hearing adults say stuff like "woah 2011 was 4 years ago haha" didn't really convey the fucking horror of a youtube video crossing my recommended labelled "9 years ago" and it's from 2017. that's not true. 9 years ago is 2010 or something. don't lie.