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a gas leak wouldn't even affect me

@todaysbird

Item: bird disguises; allows a pigeon to be disguised as a variety of extinct birds

parsley sage rosemary and slime

putting it in my will that i want a “poison swamp-themed funeral” and letting my surviving family sort out what the fuck that means

Humans didn't make the big ben. Do you really think those dumbass Britains could make a clock that big? Those big gears are way too heavy, how'd they get those up there. No way. It was the beasts

simon and garfunkel, often referred to as the dan and phil of folk rock,

"I'm fem-presenting!" "My presentation is masculine!" "I present androginously!" well I forgot there was a presentation today and it's too late to put anything together