the rest is confetti

hi women

They should invent a glasses that you can lay on your side in bed wearing

Why is it that every time I google something like "Are olives poisonous to cats" the top results are always like "Fun fact: Cats are carnivores! This means that they eat meat. There is no reason to include olives in a cat's diet. You should feed your cat cat food, which is dry or wet food especially designed for cats. You can purchase this at a store." like is there a single person alive on the planet who's googled "Are blueberry muffins safe for cats" because they're planning on switching their cat to a muffin-only diet??? No, I'm asking because the little bastard somehow popped open the packet while I was putting away the groceries and dragged one under the couch before I could react and now I need to know if I should call the after-hours vet. "Cats should not eat spaghetti." NO SHIT, SHERLOCK!!!! "Try to keep human food away from cats." i live in a studio apartment with a completely silent and permanently hungry apex predator who has the intelligence of a toddler and the desperate Machiavellian cunning of a creature who spent his formative months on the streets. He can already open doors and he is this 👌 close to learning how to open the microwave. He is stronger than me and covered in knives. So im gonna do my best but for the moment i just need you to tell me whether this yoghurt is going to kill my son y/n

For plants specifically, there’s also a wildly detailed set of posts and listings about toxicity on the old, wonderful, Plants Are the Strangest People blog

Chappell Roan was right. it is like a hundred ninety nine degrees

For my fellow Europeans south of us who are currently suffering from extreme heat. Stay safe!

my 5 year plan is to get back my joy

if you've ever applied for a job you deserve 50 million dollars in financial compensation

that’s my emotional support hostage

its actually easy to de-enshittify your digital experience all you need to do is install this browser extension and this browser extension and this browser extension and input this custom script into the advanced box and go into your system settings and reconfigure all these options you didnt know existed and change your entire workflow and switch to this alternative operating system and this alternative web browser and this alternative chat client and this alternative word processor and this alternative- sorry that one turned out to be malware delete that one okay now double check your task manager for unwanted background processes and element block these ads and invest in a good VPN and append all your searches with AI blocking keywords and wait a few years until everything you just did becomes shitty too so you can do it all over again okay kitten. its literally that easy.

me, making a phone call: god i hope they don’t answer

so much to chew on w how joint suffering Makes People after they get out of it. this is especially juicy to me if your characters were introduced to each other as a direct result of the horrors. you learned everything about me at my worst and against my will so how do i get better again if you’re watching. there’s no one else in the world who understands a fraction of what you know of me. i see your wounds beneath your shirt. you know how i scream. your face is in all of my nightmares. if anyone tried to take you from me i would be undone. no notes !