Your Local Dumpster

cooking my husband a delicious and nutricious breakfast consisting of lead pipes and

remember like an actual decade ago, there was a post giving advice for what to do if The Heterosexuals asked for your celebrity crush, and the advice was to just say "chris" and let them guess which chris and then just agree

TIL “Yankee Doodle” was written by the British to mock americans. “Doodle” is thought to come from the German “dödel”, meaning “fool” or “simpleton” and “macaroni,” a flamboyantly stylish type of dress, painting the Yankees as morons who thought placing a feather in one’s cap made them a “dandy.”

US moron came to town

it's funny how "press F to pay respects" was such a gigantic meme that it seems to have permanently affected the way we talk online. people use it completely genuinely and unironically. had a bad day? F. died in a videogame? F. I see it constantly in Discord, Twitch and ingame chats. like it's actually being used as common shorthand. when it only gained prominence because of how hilariously stupid this screenshot is

Stoned af and made the best tweet of my life.