Uh, hi. @garlicbreadtillimdead - Tumblr Blog

loveridden1999

top 3 hobbies for young adults:

1. borrowing misery from future

2. carrying grief of the past

3. agonizing over the present

dapperdoodlenoodle

A Christmas Carol

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pmamtraveller

Fish-shaped interlocking paving stones.

@fishyfishyfishtimes

Absolute perfection

has anyone seen my pet bacteriophage its name is styrofoam and its about [hand touching the floor] this tall

goldensunset

when the characters never really make peace with it

saxifraga-x-urbium

I know people don't like having the blindingly obvious suggested to them but the following do have to regularly be said to people I know so:

Have you tried turning it off and then on again?

Is it plugged in properly?

What does the manual say?

You can probably Google that

Have you eaten?

I know you remember making the food but did you actually eat it?

Well do it sitting down then

You're probably having a reaction to one of the ingredients, read the label and see if there's anything in there that you recognise

Okay did you actually tell him that? With your mouth? Using words?

The painkillers only work if you take them

Cool had has self-flagellating actually made this work before or?

Yeah okay you 'must remember to' but you remember to NOW so do it NOW

Put it in your fucking calendar

Do you want me to show you how to set up reminders

So use BOTH hands then

... the suggestions of the blindingly obvious will continue until people demonstrate consistently that they don't need it.

saxifraga-x-urbium

did you take your fucking meds

imrix

Speaking as a former teacher, people have a way of ignoring the obvious answers, because they're obvious. The mind has a way of going, "a problem this big can't be that simple, there's gotta be more to it."

Which is to say,

did you drink water lately?

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trochaic-mutant-ninja-tetrameter

#starting a collection

pencil-line-deactivated20241029

method actor this method actor that. toshiro mifune played a guy getting shot at by arrows by getting shot at by arrows

and yeah i believe it. ^ this is the face of a guy getting shot at by arrows

lysenkoite

weaselle

abz-j-harding

i can't cope

fipindustries

ok this looks ultra mega based, are you kidding me? can you imagine the bullshit i could get up to with this bad boy? fuck yes i want ten

mint-corset

Wait are iPhone bros coping because Apple has to be more universal? Lol.

such-justice-wow

Boo hoo i'll be able to add more physical storage to my phone and be able to change out batteries if they degrade as well as all these other optional features I won't have to touch

lectorel

Continuing in the trend of political cartoons depicting milquetoast moderate positions seem so much cooler and more badass than they are

domina-honoribila

I love how they add totally absurd things no one is asking for to make the idea look crazy. And still, I must emphasize, failing to make this look like a bad idea.

teaboot

"Is this what you want? Is this ugly stupid bullcrap what you want??" the biggest loudest idiot in the room asks, holding up a picture of the hottest looking shit I've ever seen

heymedley

literally tumblr

#video

shutyourmoustache

When my mother forgets a word, she is the queen of coming up with new words. Words that would take a third National Treasure movie to fully decipher. I was talking to her yesterday, and she said this: “You know the time for los jibbities is coming up. You must be so excited!” Oh, is it time for los jibbities already? I must have missed it on my calendar. Are we celebrating something? “Of course! We should all be celebrating, shouldn’t we?” OK, so los jibbities is a happy thing. It’s not like something is giving you the heebie-jeebies, which would have been my one and only guess. “Los heebie-jeebies? Now you’re making things up...and this is my show.” You’re right. The time for los jibbities is coming up. Is this a season? “Yes, the season for love. The season for pride.” OK, los jibbities. “Yeah, sound it out.” Los…jibbities. LGBTs! “Sí, mira cuz you’re gay!” “You couldn’t just say pride season? You couldn’t just… *laughs*

party-gilmore

HAPPY LOS JIBBITIES EVERYBODY!!!

greatmountainfloofsquatch

The time for Los Jibbities has arrived!

#tiktok #los jibbities

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shutyourmoustache

When my mother forgets a word, she is the queen of coming up with new words. Words that would take a third National Treasure movie to fully decipher. I was talking to her yesterday, and she said this: “You know the time for los jibbities is coming up. You must be so excited!” Oh, is it time for los jibbities already? I must have missed it on my calendar. Are we celebrating something? “Of course! We should all be celebrating, shouldn’t we?” OK, so los jibbities is a happy thing. It’s not like something is giving you the heebie-jeebies, which would have been my one and only guess. “Los heebie-jeebies? Now you’re making things up...and this is my show.” You’re right. The time for los jibbities is coming up. Is this a season? “Yes, the season for love. The season for pride.” OK, los jibbities. “Yeah, sound it out.” Los…jibbities. LGBTs! “Sí, mira cuz you’re gay!” “You couldn’t just say pride season? You couldn’t just… *laughs*

party-gilmore

HAPPY LOS JIBBITIES EVERYBODY!!!

greatmountainfloofsquatch

The time for Los Jibbities has arrived!

#tiktok #los jibbities

rhinco

inventing some new EVIL tone tags

/pr = pressuring you

/m = mad at you

/f = forcing you to do this at gunpoint

/nj = not joking i want to kill you for real

dogpuppy

batmanisagatewaydrug

sorry to be a broken record every month but christ menstruation is a stupid concept. oooooh excuse me for not getting pregnant, why the fuck is there goo falling out of me about it? grow the fuck up and reabsorb that shit for nutrients.

reallyreallyreallytrying

an ice cold beer topped with a scoop of vanilla ice cream. lying on top of the ice cream foam is a salted peanut. this is the angel. around him are sprinkles (his tears). this is "the angel's lament", my new cocktail

roadrunnerposting

Sure, why not. ‘Angels lament’

kadekuro

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