being a girl and hitting puberty is so traumatic. you go from being a genderless little free thing to being hit with shaving and makeup and growing breasts and skincare and menstruation and suddenly being sexualised when like a few years ago you could take your shirt off to play in the stream and trade yugioh cards with the boys and come home covered in mud and not even think about it. and then you spend years hating being a girl and hating everything puberty did to you and wishing you could be a boy or be completely genderless again and it takes you Many years to come to terms with yourself Or you simply try to Lean In to everything and do makeup tutorials on YouTube and claim it’s for fun. like how can this be treated as normal

I love getting unaccompanied minors (kids flying alone) who so clearly just. Don't want to be here lol. Sometimes I get to know a little of their story, like their parents are divorced, or a family member died and they're heading to the funeral, but usually they just don't want to talk about it and that's fine. But I always treat the flight like it's a challenge to make them smile. I offer them snacks and soda but that's never enough, that's whatever, they could get those from an airport vending machine. Chump change. So then I tell the worst jokes. Just the most embarrassing, kindergarten teacher, annoying dad jokes you can think of. And those always get a groan, or a "Seriously??" And that's my in! Now I can say "Why, what's your idea of a good joke? No, come on hotshot, make your best joke, let's see it." And they hem and they haw but of course they eventually tell me their very best joke because kids are little competitive comedy goldmines. And it's always super funny, so I laugh, and that's where they slip up. Because you know what you almost always do when your joke successfully makes someone laugh? You smile. And I'm like. Gotcha. Rookie move. Now you're going to end up having a good time in spite of yourself. I win.

Did this with an 11yo u.m. today and he said "What did the ghost say to the other ghost?" And I said "What?" "Nothing. Ghosts aren't real."

pov elton john finds you 

#Flintstones #meme

Ya Ba do!

Not what he says

Ya Ba do!

Just a regular Monday afternoon

just learned about a building in london that is so poorly designed it becomes a death ray that melts cars and creates a downdraft effect with wind so powerful that it knocks full grown adults to the ground

imagine being knocked over by a gust of wind from this ugly ass building and then being cooked TO DEATH by the sun reflection like what a way to go

i learned about this like last year or somethign and this building is literally th satan come alive. building that tries to fucking kill you and fry you like an egg

that’s where dr. doofensmirtz lives

me wearing a dog collar and leash looking up at my manfriend in his trench coat and fedora: let’s go out in public where you can walk me like i’m a dog in front of people who are visibly uncomfortable

IT’S NOT A FL*PPING FEDORA, IT’S A BOWLER HAT!!!!!!!

Keeo goobin’ goober. A fedora is a fedora is a fedora.

“Irrationally prejudiced” motherfucker admit you have a petplay fetish. there’s no shame in it on this website.

Okay… just please consider the following scenario. It’s five to ten years from now. You’re sitting in a restaurant, enjoying a lovely meal, when I walk in, accompanied by my wife, my children, and my human pet (whose genitals are covered as it enters on all fours and is wearing underpants). If my family and I then make an order of our own at the table next to you, in what way have we infringed upon your freedom? What rational basis do you have to demand that we leave or beloved pet at home? H*ck it all, let’s consider a more extreme scenario.  It’s five to ten years from now. You’re sitting in a restaurant, enjoying a lovely meal, when I walk in, without my wife and children (for whatever reason, they haven’t accompanied me), with my surgically modified human pet (wearing a collar) being lead in by it’s leash. My pet has been spayed/neutered (though you can’t tell because its genitals -along with its boobies if its a female- have been covered up), it has no vocal chords, and it walks on all fours not by choice, but because its toes have been removed, along with the tendons in its ankles being severed (it may also have had its thumbs and the last two segments of each finger amputated, making it easier to care for -no fingernails to trim-). Perhaps I’ve even (humanely) removed its eyes, making it less independent. Even in this scenario, I haven’t infringed upon your liberties. “Irrationally prejudiced” is precisely what you are.

yknow for as infamous as this post is, you’d think there’d be a lot more than 14,000 notes

THE DREAD GAZEEBO HAS EVOLVED AND BECOME MOBILE

Baba yaga housing crisis

Earthbound encounter

Surskit