what a guy, that Gaston @gameoflesbians - Tumblr Blog

queen of the north

#the only thing that really mattered #queen in the north #GOT spoilers

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idiopathicsmile

you know what’s probably more fun than playing chess? cheating at chess

“ohhh would you look at that, my pawns found jesus and now they’re all bishops”

“so i realize it looks like i’m putting a thimble on the board but actually my rooks have been using their downtime to build another rook, one that’s better, stronger, faster—”

“hey welcome back. while you left to get a snack, those six pieces you’d captured slipped their guards, tunneled to safety and emerged right in the middle of your royal palace.”

“oof, looks like you’ve got my king cornered…maybe this is a good time to mention that shortly before we started playing, my pawns and knights revolted and instituted a representative democracy. feel free to kill the puppet ruler that was the one remaining vestige of our tyranny, you cringing servant of the crown. vive la revolution!”

physticuffs

New game: Cheating Chess, where you can make up any new thing you want, as long as you can justify it, as in the above examples, by a plausible mechanism

lets-talk-about-sects

“Sorry, your kingdom experienced a debilitating outbreak of plague and now your defenses are shattered, leaving the board open for my rampaging forces. Checkmate.”

mysharona1987

My hero.

ohbellamy

#iconic

eternalgirlscout

“The Twin Cities” sounds like a destination in a high fantasy novel that you can only reach by climbing a mountain and solving a dragon’s riddle but instead they’re in Minnesota

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quiet-nymph

pervocracy

Me in history class: Wow, humanity has been through some fascinating times! I wonder if I’ll ever live through major historical events!

Me now: NO NO NO NO NO I WANT TO GET OFF THIS RIDE

sunmied

it was supposed to be space travel. it was supposed to be space travel. it was supposed to be space travel. it was supposed to be space travel. it was supposed to be space tr

sighinastorm

space travel it was supposed to be space travel it was supposed to

hydro-homies

A Good Old-Fashioned Midwestern Apocalypse

vampireapologist-archive-deacti

You all, fools: *getting tattoos based on the ancient tattoos they find on bog mummies and the other ancient dead that for all you know will bind you to a forgotten god that now by all rights has a claim on your life for better or for worse*

Me, and intellectual: *doesnt fucking do that*

steadfast-deactivated20191017

A forgotten god cannot run my life any worse than I am currently running it myself.

silver-boots

Bog mummy take the wheel

roxilalonde-deactivated20251105

like! people always reference pride & prejudice as the archetypal “normal girl falls for mysterious brooding antihero” story but they overlook the part where lizzy drags darcy so fucking hard he leaves town and then apologizes for talking to her the next time they meet even though they’re at his literal house

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SCREAMIN

me: *worries that I’m Evil and Manipulative and tries very hard every day to be a good person*

me: oh my god

me: I’m manipulating people into thinking I’m good

steadfast-deactivated20191017

virginiaisforhaters

the cold culture in the north is real. some days i worry about wearing my parka because i think it isnt cold enough to justify it and people will judge me for it, and honestly i only end up needing it half the time anyway since my body is acclimated to the cold. i live in a god damn snowglobe. that frozen bitch has a castle next door. i wear a fleece when its 20 degrees out, determined to outlast every underdressed man, the burning desire to emasculate them warming my body. i have the bodily composition of a polar bear and was born to endure this weather. winter is a competition and i am winning

#wisconsin vibes

logarto

happy birthday to a very special and powerful deity…. baby grinch…

marisatomay

my parents……..Were Right

marisatomay

if you get home at night after work and discover that the able-bodied quasi-adults who were at home doing nothing but watch netflix all day have not even thought about making dinner or feeding the dogs or taking out the trash or emptying the dishwasher and have left it all for you to deal with then you’re allowed to be Less Than Happy

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vampireapologist-archive-deacti

12 y/o me: *walks into a new friend’s house*

friend: you can leave your shoes on

friend’s mom: you can call me by my first name

12 y/o me: thank you both but physically i cannot do that

xueyangapologist

i’m so bad at remembering the average age for baby milestones like someone will be like “she’s 18 months (:” and i’ll be like “right what can she…… do? teeth? are there teeth?”

westarri

“stats?”

#why small children scare me

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what a guy, that Gaston