i hate ties.

Mike & El in Stranger Things 2 // Lucas & Max in Stranger Things 5

inspired by this lovely post by @sarhcameron

Mike Wheeler is always making sure El Hopper is okay! STRANGER THINGS (2016 - 2025)

Mike, I need you to help [everyone] understand my choice But I don't! I don't understand.. I know. But you will. One day you will. You understand me. Better than anyone. You always have.

Eleven’s story meant SO much to abuse survivors like myself. She got me through times I literally didn’t think I would survive and I know I’m not the only one. She didn’t just stand for “childhood” for us - she stood for CHILDHOOD ABUSE. And, most intensely, she stood for HOPE. That maybe you haven’t known love or family before, but you are still worthy of it. The abuse does not define you. You can move past it. You can build your own family, you can know love, you can become more than your trauma. You can even maybe *gasp* have a happy ending.

And the narrative reinforced that: mileven’s entire storyline. the party. hopper adopting el in season 2. in season 3 Mike saying to el “I know you think you have to do this but you don’t” and “everyone’s treating her like a machine but she’s not a machine.” Hop saying “I need you safe. this thing’s not coming after me.” THE ENTIRETY OF SEASON 4???? Or how about Hopper’s speech in the finale??? YOUVE BEEN ABUSED AND YOU NEVER LET IT BREAK YOU. FIGHT FOR A LIFE OUTSIDE OF HAWKINS. All the teasing of the happy ending with the three waterfalls?? The obvious hope in el’s eyes talking about it with Mike???

While I can accept El's ending and understand why people find beauty in it, I struggle to not find it insanely misogynistic and a disservice to her character when I sit and think about it. I often complained about how I loved Mike and Eleven, but I was very bothered by how Mike had little to do with his character outside of her in later seasons. There was so much opportunity for development, especially in the last season, ESPECIALLY given the fact that his family and sister were taken, but they explored none of that emotionally for him and it was left up to audience interpretation.

This was because, I'm realizing now, El's "death" was a vehicle to serve both Mike and Hopper. Female deaths (The Mother from HIMYM, Daenerys from GoT) are always used to serve and strengthen the arc of men. Mike and Hopper's development throughout the entire series was ALWAYS linked to El's "death", the cruel fear of losing her come true, when they could've easily had the same character arc of accepting loss without her dying. Like Hopper could've EASILY accepted she was a young adult and let her do her own thing without her dying. Mike easily could've overcome his overly optimistic tendencies and grappled with harsh reality without El dying.

On the other hand, it's just accepted that El, the female superhero, the heroine of the story, the one who trained and literally devoted her time to everyone in her life to save them, was going to sacrifice herself because she saw her presence was a burden to everyone around them, when she in fact saved everyone's life multiple times. Women are always expected to sacrifice themselves, to make their wants and desires secondary, to be wholly selfless and it's seen as "beautiful" and not insanely dystopian that we expect them to constantly treat their own needs as secondary. Not only that, but I struggle with her finding peace alone in a new place "for the first time" when she DID have peace, with her friends and family. Eleven didn't actually WANT to leave or make a choice, she was forced into it by pathetic writers who gave plot armor to literally every single other character.

#babies who yearn STRANGER THINGS (2x09 | 5x07)

Max wanted to have a sleepover. EL HOPPER & MAX MAYFIELD S03E03, The Case of the Missing Lifeguard 

Mileven + hugs STRANGER THINGS (2016 - 2025)

I miss him. But every time I have the chance to pass on a piece of his legacy, it's...Never the wrong choice.