ᴇxʜᴀᴜsᴛᴇᴅ

Attack me when you feel I'm at my lowest, make me feel worse than I already did before. It all means nothing at this point, I'll get over it, I'll remember your words and carry them to my grave. I'll get my revenge, when you have no feet left to stand on, when you consider me your friend away, when you need me, to help you survive, I'll give you all that you gave me. I'll break your legs twice, I'll stomp on your heart. It all means nothing to me. I've wavered, yes, my heart was shortly intoxicated by your kind words, but it's sobered up. I don't need your kindness anymore, I don't need your company anymore. I need nothing of you, or anyone else. I once considered you my friend, I once opened up to you, but you threw dirt in my face, and blinded me, and I allowed you. But not anymore. I'll put up with your words, your actions, let you fall for it, I'll let you believe I'm all under your spell, but the moment, you need something or someone, I'll be there, to dig you a grave, one deeper than the one you dug for yourself. I'll be there, to break all that was left unbroken, I'll be there to make everything twice as bad. To kill you without even hesitating.

I suppose if it gets worse, then maybe putting him to sleep is the only option. It’s sad to hear, though. And that they can’t do more.

What’s up with him? Maybe they can give him surgery and it’ll be okay. He seemed healthy the last time I swung by.

On a sad note, something's wrong with Harubei. I've visited the vet, and they said it was something related to bad genes. The little one has been making high pitched sounds for the past few days, I tried feeding, giving a sandbath more often. Then last night, the poor thing seemed to have a stroke of some sort. If it continues, I'd have to go back, and Harubei would be put to sleep, since there's only pain at this point? Wouldn't even reach the age of one if that were the case. It's upsetting, honestly. Didn't know I'd be upset over something like this so much. 

That’s great. Thank you for suggesting me this store. [’ her head lowered forward for only a few centimeters in a polite bow as the corners of her full lips switched up in a light smile. Luna couldn’t recall the last time she went shopping on her own and she had also been saving money for her trip to Disneyland. It turned out so that the actual amount of money for the trip itself wasn’t as large as she thought but staying at certain hotels in Disneyland cost much more’] Why? I have a easy answer to your question. It’s because I love Frozen which happens to be coming from my favourite motion picture studio, Disney. It’s also a way to remember someone that meant and still means so much to me. You can always add anything you desire to the bracelet but please add a tiny snowman. [’ as she stated, it was one simple reason why she wished for the bracelet to contain a snowman. Or to be exact, two simple reasons. She scrolled through numerous sites to be able to find a bracelet with the following figurine but luck hasn’t been on her side’] I’ll pay you up front if you would like and besides, I won’t be going to every ride in Disneyland because I’m scared of heights. [’ her upper teeth popped out as she flashed her well known and signature smile’] 

I can remember waking up that day, when was it? A month ago? Looking around and realizing I was actually surrounded by people, a hand ful, people I had tried to push away because I was convinced-- I didn't need anyone. But they were still there, and this hidden feeling, the thought in the back of my mind, hidden away so deeply, it said, I actually liked it. I liked waking up, having the little arguments with people, because I knew, they were pointless, they didn't mean anything, and the fact that they were there to argue with me every single day, meant they cared enough to stay, despite that. Looking back at it now, I felt, maybe not happy, but content enough to say I could've smiled. But now, a month later, it's all gone. I wake up, there's a silence, I stare at my phone, it's empty, my ears don't get filled with the constant complaining anymore, the tone of my phone telling me I have a message from one of those people. Some I don't considered friends then, but now looking at it, they were. Were being the keypoint here. I wonder, have they forgotten about me? Was I not good enough? Are they busy? Do they not want to follow they promises anymore? 

The unfortunate thing is, I've seen it, I've seen some of them. Some of them who I thought were busy, too busy to send a mere text, so I wasn't angry, I waited. But then I saw them, with other's, spending time, and I wonder. Wasn't I worth some of your time? Maybe a minute? To tell me you're doing good, to tell me you miss me, or perhaps to tell me something you dislike about me, the mere effort, compliment or not. Even sending me an insult tells me I'm still worth your time. But I'm not. I've become nothing but air, and I'm back to being alone.

Now I realize my mistake, I realize what I have done wrong. Letting all these people in, unconsciously, but it happened. Somewhere in these days, the days of arguments, the days filled with anger, the distance between me and these people decreased, but afterwards. They turned their backs, not looking at me while I had, foolishly, kept my eyes fixed on their back, waiting for them to turn back around. They never did. So I should go back, perhaps find a way to make my sight worse. To the point I won't be able to distinguish the difference between their chests and their back. It would spare me a lot of hardships, chest tightening anxiety,  minutes of waiting and waiting, days of not being able to sleep and endless thoughts of not being good enough. 

[’ Luna nodded along as the female spoke as it was a simple sign that she was surely paying attention. She was no millionaire, her pastry wasn’t providing her a large amount of money with which she could buy a simple sofa for her living room. However, she had to snatch this opportunity and purchase at least two alike sofas, if nothing else’] Really? Ah, thank you very much lovely. Have you ever bought anything from them? Also, could you tell me the address so I can head there sometime soon? I have to make sure my house is prepared for a complete renovation. It all sounds like a dream and I bet they have tons of customers just running up to their door and I also bet they are popular. [’ she flashed a wide smile, giving her head a few shakes’] No no, I wish to pay you and you add as much of your touch as you wish. I just wish for it to have a tiny snowman charm and a snowflake as well, if that’s alright? You add anything you wish and I’ll be glad to pay for your service. 

Red

I love you.

Blue

You’re amazing.

Rose 

You’re pretty

Purple 

You’re hot.

Plum 

I would fuck you.

Violet

I would date you.

Orange 

I want to get to know you.

[ `KC couldn’t help but to smile to herself, seeing how the other female returned a smile. She seemed so happy and it was a good feeling, a good sight for her to see about the female; Miko, you look really pretty when you smile. [ `it was true and she wanted the older female to know that, but was it okay for her to wear a bikini since her baby bump was now visible and small? She pursed her lips in thought, her hand resting on her stomach; 

[‘she absorbed every piece of information which the female had provided for her; able to even picture this unknown shop and she’ll come by sometime soon and give it a chance. A particular word made her twitched a little, her brows raising up in bewilderment’] Nothing? They sell it for free? Just give it away like that? I knew that saving money would come in handy soon enough and it surely will, as now I know of this shop you speak of. [‘she quickly changed direction, moving along with the female’] Really? Thank you lovely. [‘she flashed a wide smile and entirely grateful to the female for accepting her request - even if she were to blur out numerous kind of details, she couldn’t easily think of some’] How about I give it a thought or two and I’ll let you know when I exactly am aware of what I want. Is that alright? I never had a friend who was good at making jewelry and don’t worry, I won’t be using you as ‘the goods’ deliverer source. [‘she shook her head promptly, corners of her lips reaching up to form a gentle smile’] But maybe only this time I’ll order something and tell my other friends about your work so they can order a piece too. They’ll pay for it as well and I’m no exception.