''when did we all become so performative'' idk man when the threat of being recorded at any time and posted for milions to see without your knowledge became normalised.

There's a fine line between letting go of your fear of being cringe and accepting your genuine self completely and wholeheartedly, and becoming a completely unhinged shameless gross little feral animal, and I'm going to snort it.

win by never drinking milk ever

i would've fucked so hard as a court jester in ye olde i would've jangled my balls and done a little dance and sang my silly tunes i'd be so good at my job. alas i have to be on tumblr instead which is like a poor imitation of it

bells. i meant bells

don’t do this to me

be sure to leave out milk and cookies for brutus tonight

You can leave as many cookies as you want but he’ll only et two

this remains the funniest addition anyone’s made to one of my posts

the commodification of friendship is the most annoying thing to come out of the internet in ages. like actually i love to break this to you but you're supposed to help your friends move even if it's hard work. or stay up with them when they're sad even if you're gonna lose sleep. you're supposed to listen to their fears and sorrows even if it means your own mind takes on a little bit of that weight. that's how you know that you care. they will drive you to the airport and then you will make them soup when they're sick. you're supposed to make small sacrifices for them and they are supposed to do that for you. and there's actually gonna be rough patches for both of you where the balance will be uneven and you will still be friends and it will not be unhealthy and they will not be abusive. life is not meant to be an endless prioritization of our own comfort if it was we would literally never get anywhere ever. jesus.

Who makes the porn bots. Where do they come from. What do they hope to achieve.

This. This is the first time. The only time. That it was not an echo. It was not found. Oh god.

the best thing about tumblr is that you can watch a show and then you come here and someone has made a gifset of it and you can put it on your blog like a sticker in a journal

y’know what i’m gonna say it. tumblr is the superior social media site. follower counts are hidden/meaningless, there’s no way to make a profit and/or become an influencer. it’s just about looking at silly little images and making silly little comments. 

We need shittable cities (actively maintained public restrooms).

i hate this popular sentiment that's like "nobody cares about your baby" "nobody cares what you had for dinner" "nobody cares about your spotify wrapped" like ok why are you on social media following people whose lives you don't care about. there's an easy fix for that

i'm seeing a lot of new ppl join tumblr who aren't making any spontaneous semi pathetic, oversharing personal textposts whatsoever and i just want to say you're doing it all wrong... this is not like instagram like meant to be some shiny highlight reel used to make u look good its supposed to be an incriminatingly revealing dark intimate look into your life & inner psyche while simultaneously no one knows who u are or gives a fuck... anyway hope this helps some of u get on the right track