All things I may stumble across having to do with one of the most iconic animated series of the 1980's, VOLTRON: DEFENDER OF THE UNIVERSE. Join my cult.
Well. This is moderately embarrassing.
First of all, hello! Yes, I still live, after a fashion. I realize that in this space, as I approach my latter 40s and not having made a post in over 2 years, I may as well be dead, but please be assured that the biological processes continue in more or less the same manner as they have, albeit perhaps with slowly diminishing efficiency.
And how are you? [pause here to feign interaction, nod appreciatively as if hearing response] Very good! Or bad. Or some other thing that implies personal connection, for you see, I CARE.
What have I been doing? Oh, a bit of this, a bit of that. Please donāt think that I somehow lost my raging boner for The Defender: if anything, the rage has only blossomed into a boner I couldnāt have imagined when this blog began. Hm, thatās something of a strained metaphor, like a boner absolutely enraged.
But why has there been no second episode of Defended Be since I heralded its arrival? You might not remember, but this thing happened known as THE YEAR 2020. So beyond the existential crises on every level to which that gave rise, everything had to be re-evaluated.
And re-evaluated.
And re-evaluated.
Andā¦ well, you get the picture. Every time I was mentally psyching myself up to move forward, where I was moving forward FROM and TO had changed dramatically. I can report that there is actual footage in the can for the next episode, and itās mostly a matter of assembling what else I need to complete it. After that, I have some very specific plans for how to proceed, though that may require me to get others involved, be it out of charity or for pay, which is a depressingly difficult task for someone who needs others for exactly such administrative work.
So why return now? Again, this may have escaped your notice, but a couple of the pillars of social media as weāve known it for the past ~15 years are in their death spirals, mostly due to just a few narcissists who cannot stand that we might not have their names on our lips, hearts and minds at all times, but lack the imagination about themselves and the world to make that so from true accomplishment, so instead they just wreck everything. Since I got enough of that shit growing up, Iām consciously withholding the coin of my attention by pulling up my shingle and either starting anew or returning to neglected outlets.
I get the impression that Iām hardly alone in this choice. It is, paradoxically, an incredible opportunity to escape from a rut, though I do mourn what will inevitably be lost. But I suspect that what will be gained by this permanent (?) boycott could prove far more valuable in the long run.
I donāt know how often or how much Iāll be posting here, since itās still my intent to channel those thoughts and that energy into Defended Be, but maybe without diversions elsewhere the surplus will not be denied. Your feedback and engagement will help in that regard, because as I said, and I was not being facetious: I CARE.
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Today, March 4, 2020, is the ten year anniversary of Fuck Yeah Voltron. I know itās not been what it was in the past couple years. And even having said on the 35th anniversary of Voltron that it would be updating more often, Iāve yet to deliver. Obviously, the ultimate blame must go on me. And social media. Me on social media is a dangerous combination, and my other writing ventures suffer as a result.
And right after I began what was supposed to be the first salvo in where I was taking this subject next, I had some for real craziness come up in my personal life. Like, the kind that involves lawyers. And no, Iām the plaintiff. Itās a strange rite of passage to have to sue a motherfucker. The only relevance this has to this blog is that it has stymied my progress, and that the bulk of my Voltron (and other toy robots) collection is in the wind, as is a bunch of my property.
The comeuppance, and it IS coming, will be FUCKING DELICIOUS.
Oh thank The Defender, FYV!!!!! is still the place I can come to be the sort of dick that no one should take as affiliated with the āofficialā Voltron presence. While up until a few mos ago that would have seemed a longshot, despite my 2015 TEDx Talk and being followed by the official Voltron Twitter account. But around the time at which my life went nuts, I also did two things:
1) I paneled at the first but not last VoltCon in Indianapolis, IN, at which were luminaries from World Event Productions, parent company of Voltron, as well as past creatives on said property. This was a relatively last moment invitation from the organizers after a previously-booked entity cancelled, and I brainstormed some panel ideas: Jumping The Baby Shark (about the parallels between the Cousin Oliver Syndrome and the āNew School Defendersā from Voltron Force), It Came From Generation X (about how the culture of the 1980s influenced modern culture) and Hyā Five (about how concepts of alchemy were encoded into Golion). I must admit that after the GenX one my preparedness definitely fell off from what Iād hoped to bring to the table. What I did bring was:
2) The literally just-finished pilot of my new YouTube channel to which this has all been leading, DEFENDED BE.
Which is what I was trying to say back in September: this is now a self-stan Tumblr account. Iāve been building up to this over the past several years: a ritualistic worship of The Defender, as a means of self-improvement through discipline and exhibitionism. I want all of you who have been along on the journey with me thus far to stay for the next phase, and to tell the whole Voltron fam. Shitās gonna get kinda crazy in what I hope will be the most entertaining ways possible.
Even if it continues merely as a means to promote Defended Be, Fuck Yeah Voltron!!!!! will remain online and active for the foreseeable future, hopefully for at least another decade. Thank you all for humoring my obsession and eccentricities. May we all eternally Defended Be.
Today is Tuesday, September 10, 2019. I know it's been over 2 years since I last posted anything on Fuck Yeah Voltron, and I'll address that in a moment. But it's September 10, 2019, which is, to the day, the 35th anniversary of the debut of Voltron, Defender of the Universe on American TV. So I would not be worthy of any claim to my armchair expertise on Voltron if I did not mark the date.
Suffice it to say, it was an obsession that has been a defining influence in my life. The reason why I founded Fuck Yeah Voltron was to finally write the love letter it was due, even when I was salty over where the franchise went, a problem I've not had in several years, thankfully. It was why I used the highest platform I was afforded, a TEDx Talk at a world-renowned cultural institute, to declare that this was for all intents and purposes what I regarded as God, so to speak. For many, that might have been mission accomplished, thou good and loyal servant.
Not me. Because I wasn't gilding the lily: I'm asking my God to deliver me from oppression again, as He did when I was a child. This time, I'm trying to channel Him, to make His will mine and vice versa, so I may accomplish great things in His name. And I'm not going to be quiet about it, either: something is coming in the next few weeks that is going to begin the next phase of this quest for His glory, which is already netting me notice, and which I am finally in the position to realize with enviable resources at my disposal.
This brings me to the explanation of why Fuck Yeah Voltron has languished since 2017. I could stretch the truth and say that Tumblr's musical chairs of ownership discouraged my participation, but that's only half the story. I've probably previously alluded to suffering from depression and other low-grade mental illness most of my life, and beginning in 2018 it came back with a vengeance, conveniently enough right after I had to end the most fruitful therapeutic relationship I ever had, just before I was forced by unscrupulous landlords to give up the home I had for six years. Thanks to this and the general shittiness of the world in general, I was in a downward spiral for much of the period since I last checked in here; I couldn't even bring myself to finish Legendary Defender, as I refused to experience it in anything less than the best possible conditions. Defendedly, that trend reversed several months ago, and I've not felt this optimistic in years.
That said, Fuck Yeah Voltron's function in my life and yours is going to change somewhat: after I discharge some old business, this blog is going to become more of an organ to promote these upcoming projects I'll be undertaking to testify to my faith in The Defender. You may be experiencing a twinge of panic at this transformation, which is natural, but please rest assured that I believe you will be overjoyed at what's to come. I would hold myself to nothing less to celebrate Voltron's first 35 years, and to kick off the second thereof in such a way that I suspect will be nothing less thanā¦ legendary.
From Days Of Long Ago, From Uncharted Regions Of The Galaxy, to this imperfect present in which we will join together to form into a more equitable, righteous future, I thank you all for being on this journey with me. May our lives eternally defended be.
- Lauren Montgomery & Joaquim Dos Santos, SDCC 2017
Today,Ā August 4, 2017, Voltron: Legendary Defender season 3 drops on Netflix. Based upon trends thus far, I will likely plod through the season at an unthinkably slow pace compared to anyone who fancies themselves a true fanatic. My ways are more like those of your distant ancestors, watching television at a rate not to exceed one episode per week. (I reserve the right to be both a liar and a hypocrite in this regard.) s3 AND s4 will be 1/2 the length of the previous seasons & be released 2 mos apart, so I may have only just finished s3 when s4 drops. To avoid spoilers I will probably remove myself from fandom, including updating this blog, until such time as I complete s3 and s4, which may not be before mid-November.
A 3+ mo absence might as well be a "Lost Our Lease" sign in an empty storefront. Certainly, there are no shortage of my own efforts where the last update is from many years before. I know that sinking feeling well.
I have a wide assortment of interests from which self-preservation dictates I keep a poised distance. Hell, I even stopped buying comic books 3 mos ago because I needed that much more liquidity in my finances; that was like quitting heroin (with a caveat that I still have an ENORMOUS backlog through which I am similarly slowly working). What's to say that in a fit of maturity I don't decide that my fixation upon Voltron is an unhealthy retreat into childhood innocence from my adulthood's despairs?
This is why I promise you, my brothers and sisters, I am coming back. VLD has healed me and saved me. The fundamental goodness of these expansions upon already beloved characters has been a balm for my soul. The icon for The Ultimate is re-enshrined in my heart. I am stimulated on a level I had only distantly recalled, and I can feel how it's done much the same for you, even if this is your first encounter with the property, maybe even especially so.
I hope you understand this is said totally unselfconsciously. It does pain me, though, that I can't experience VLD through some of your eyes, if only in the realm of shipping. Itās been a long time since Iāve deeply engaged with a fandom for anything current that Iām into, nor for something so dear to me my whole life, yet now skewing a generation younger. Shipping wasnāt a phenomena in how I absorbed my media before now. I've had only the most casual of dalliances in fanfic, three Mystery Science Theater 3000 Usenet riffs in 1995. Still, I do understand fanfic: extrapolate from established knowledge of the characters and circumstances into your private alternate universe. Some full-fledged original writers have even been birthed out of the fanfic mines. Perhaps if I'd indulged in it more I would have less qualms with my own writing. But I'll save that for my therapist's office.
There is even a place in my heart for erotic fan art. Yes, they sometimes go places I never wanted to see certain characters go, but it's not that character: it's just their form. A picture of Baby Poof from Fairly Oddparents cornholing Speed Racer with a strap-on while Babar looks on didn't involve any deeper thought than what was going to hit their buzzer in that particular moment, talent notwithstanding. Neither end of that spectrum are ever going to accepted as canon, nor should they be. Most everyone is on the same page regarding that fact.
(No, I donāt have firsthand knowledge if there exists an image of Poof railing Speed for Babarās pleasure, but Rule 34 dictates there must be. If there wasnāt before, there is now.)
Shipping seems like the overlap of these two expressions: narrative Love, sometimes platonic, often romantic, up to and including erotic, but Love. It can be disquieting that so much emotional energy is invested, seemingly with the belief that if enough people think it's the truth it will become so. It's become a wedge issue in VLD fandom, an overwhelmingly caring scene which in spots has curdled. Love can be so all-consuming that anything which does not overtly support it seems like Hate; it is thus met in kind. For our fandom, this is not entirely baseless: the Korra/Asami shippers for Legend of Korra were officially validated, and this is the same animation studio, so the math is sound up to a point. The precedent set may have been to everyone's detriment, as it's now expected. Dare they disappoint?
But again, I do not have a problem with shipping itself. So much of what I've seen makes my heart swell, because they are genuine depictions of deep love, in all the myriad ways in which it manifests. You will never get me to say a truly hateful thing about them: their fundamental ethos is sound. It's merely not my thing.
What rankles me are those who attempt to deprive anyone of this avenue of expression either because they prefer another or none at all or, worse of all, canonical minutiae that should rule it out. That is an insane argument since NOTHING ABOUT THIS IS CANON. If you ship Allura with Coran, you could justify it or disqualify it for "reasons," but it doesn't matter because it's not ending up in anything official. It has no more relevance than making action figures kiss.
So if it doesn't really matter, why does anyone care so much to tell you you're "wrong"? It's done only for its own sake, out of place of unhappiness that would lash out indiscriminately in whatever circumstances it finds itself. They infect otherwise innocent fandoms because the more unapologetically enthusiastic the scene, the more easily they can push others around just by being unpleasant and pissing to mark turf as their own. More often than not, that piss is the spectre of pedophilia, a vile rhetorical tool that purports to be on the side of victims but doesnāt give a FUCK about anything but the smearās potency to victimize, violating victims on a completely different level.
They have made a crucial error in attempting these ploys in our church: they went on the offense over not just A defender but THE Defender. They are the Ro-Beasts who land in coffins and try subversion but are inevitably, pathetically mismatched to the power marshaled against them. Seriously, they thought that garbage was going to fly here? Did they not see the sign on the door when they walked in? I realize they're assholes and a certain amount of idiocy and nihilism comes with the territory, but there's no martyrdom in suicide by cop.
To put the kibosh on this once and for all, I'm going to offer up MY VERY FIRST VLD SHIP. And, as I reckon it, it's also kind of the LAST VLD ship, because I don't know where it could go after this. I'm mooting the question, you understand? It's in the form of a season 3 theory, so if you've not finished s2 this is your SPOILER escape pod eject button.
In the season 2 finale, we see that the psychic battle between Shiro and Emperor Zarkon continues during the actual battle between Voltron and Zarkon's mecha, so Shiro is able to rescue the black bayard from Zarkon's grasp, thus allowing them to form the full Blazing Sword. This is as a function of his bond with the Black Lion, which as the center of Voltron extends to The Defender itself. When, at the point of Zarkon's defeat, Shiro disappears from the cockpit of the Black Lion, it's not because he abandoned ship or was taken captive, but because his communion with Voltron became complete: Shiro and Voltron are now ONE.
Of course, the other paladins and probably Princess Allura will continue to pilot Voltron without knowing that Shiro is inside The Defender, save perhaps for glimpses they get of him at certain moments, much like the impressions they were already getting through their respective bonds with their lions. As they collectively compensate for Shiro's perceived absence, they too will grow closer to each other and inside Voltron. I imagine one day this intimacy will allow all of them to commune with Voltron, together. Voltron, like The Castle Of Lions, despite their forms, is a deep-space vessel; several, in fact. A spaceship, if you will.
Are you getting it yet? Do I need to draw you a map? The paladins are developing relationships with their ship, who is Shiro.
EVERYONE IS SHIPPED WITH SHIRO.
You're goddamn right I just made a dad joke. Iām the dad in this house, remember? It's the dad joke that's the Blazing Sword of this discussion. It's all over: Youāve been rendered silly.
"But what if your season 3 theory is wrong? Doesn't that start it all over again?"
Weren't you listening? NOTHING ABOUT THIS IS CANON.
Poor darlings, you thought you could out-weird the old guy. Your argument is invalid: Shipping is mundane; anti-shipping is irrelevant. And now we can together all enjoy season 3 as a family again, and that, in the end, is all that ever mattered.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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A tribute piece and my entry for the Threadless Voltron contest. Do help score it if you like it and want to see it made into a tee :) Thank you!
https://www.threadless.com/designs/the-mighty-voltron
I finally watched this today, and it was so sweet it nearly made me cry. Iām glad that despite the circusā demise, Ringling College is still turning out artists, in the best sense.
Right? Based on Neil Rossā recollections, it sounds like their voice director was kind of a hack; Michael Bell did as well as he could under the circumstances. At least we only had to suffer through about 10 episodes with Sven.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I am reposting this, because it deserves to be seen. Itās powerful because there is nothing romantic that needs to be inferred: Itās just one person freaking out, and another being there for him. If you think this situation cannot exist outside of a relationship, I feel very badly for you.
In case you were unaware, as I was, that there had been a Voltron big wheel, we must now invent time travel so we can go back and jump this kid for his sweet ride. Or we can just rustle up $23. Is there even that much money in the world?
In that final shot of him in s2, did we see Zarkon without his helmet? Iām curious if heās really a Galra under there, because his face sure doesnāt look it.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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ThinkGeekās foolishly fake products should be real!
This April Foolsā Day, ThinkGeek unleashed everything from Voltron Cat Condos to Mad Max Power Wheels Desert Drifters to Game of Thrones Clue to Steampunk Video Gaming Consoles!
Take a look at some of the coolest fake products around in my article on CNET!
1) If you count yourself as a geek and arenāt familiar with Bonnie Burtonās contributions to the culture, you are not a geek; youāre a dilletante. Get on her level.
2) Yes, this is from several years ago and, as I understand it, the cat habitat was so popular that it was actually produced in a limited quantity. It evokes an even older antecedent from this post: http://mariomateo.tumblr.com/post/123851154336/i-had-a-voltron-pi%C3%B1ata-in-1988-i-dont-need
