Fuck yeah, Jerm.

who just sent me money “for being perfect”

^ yup.

Reblog to let your followers know it’s okay to send you $40 for “being perfect”

I’ll also accept $20 for “being pretty okay”

I’d take $10 for “She’s alright most of the time, I guess”

I’ll take $5 for “she’s okay when she’s not posting stuff”

$2.50 for “Completes autonomic biological functions adequately”

I will accept 10 cents for being a bitch

$Jerm

Every episode the cats are his quality control crew for the food he’s making too!

mama pasta looks so kind

Until you don’t come back for second/third helpings... “Why aren’t you eating?” “I did eat, Ma! I’m so full!” “You don’t like my cooking?” “What? Of course I do, I just ate 6 pounds of spaghetti” “Are you on a diet? You look fine!” “Fine! I’ll eat more spaghetti, ma.”

wake up america

this is to educate my non-American followers. This really is how the US sees itself. (and yes, 95% of the time, Florida = WHAT?!)

… Please tell me you guys are kidding.  

Florida is like it’s own country I swear

I’m from Florida and I can confirm this. Also, South Florida is basically Miami and alligators.

oh, i always assumed florida was part of The South?

north florida is yes. The rest is not.

I’m from Florida, and grew up in SC/NC. Can confirm all true. 👍

Um. This is so wrong.

That last one is so true

There should be a 200 mile diameter circle for Detroit. Nobody tells their friends they’re from Farmington Hills, they say Detroit, because its easier, and they’ll be more afraid of you.

This post goes harder than any post has ever gone before.

this shitty 4-panel comic resurfaces every time nintendo releases a new game

male singers who refuse to sing katy perry’s “e.t.” as horny as she did are cowards

i dont even like katy perry but like she! went full on alien-fucking horny in that song. a male cover in that exact voice inflection would’ve been perfect for my venom playlist. but no. straight men are always horny, except when it comes to singing about aliens i guess. cowards.

Hi I’m a straight dude who can sing, I’ve never heard this song tho, how serious are you? I’m a ridiculous fucking person, I’ll do the damn thing.

@fuure

I’ll be 30 years old in 20-something days. I didn’t know what executive dysfunction was until late 2017, and part of me wishes I had never learned, so I didn’t have to know the words for what I’ve called “just being a derp” my whole life, and wouldn’t have to be so honest with myself, it was much easier to call it a quirk than a condition. There’s a special kind of biting pain I feel every time I catch myself in a loop etc. and have that memory, it has a name, it’s more mental illness, somehow I’m always finding more. But the rest of me is so relieved to know I’m not alone. I hope someday I’ll be _____ enough to be glad for the closure of knowing that I can link to the World Health Organization article regarding The Thing.

D E E P P U P P Y

orc woman……….. big strength……….. big heart…………. big teeths…………..

Big laugh

Big arms. Big hugs.

big gay

Big Mood

Big

No no, that’s the enhanced rogue vision. Everyone else sees it all flat. :p