Captain Fury

Hiroshi Nagai's paintings need sunglasses to look at.

They look like how it feels to walk across a parking lot on a 98° summer day without a speck of shade in sight.

They look like heaven but also like you'd burn your bare feet on the ground.

Even when you can see shade you know it's not enough and the minute you step out you'll be burnt to a crisp like a vampire.

This feels like I could trip on that radio and fall right into that water, feeling the crystal waves as I drop in.

And this, a nice stroll down a resort strip, where my sunscreened skin could literally feel cooked if I leaned too close to the tiling.

And then a nice stretch of summer street, wherein you could see your face in the flushed red of that car provided it didn't blind you from its sunny reflections.

Mon Mothma concept art by: Michael Wilkinson and Andrei Riabovitchev (3, 4, 5, 6, 8, 9, 12) Michael Wilkinson and Glyn Dillon (1, 2, 7, 10, 11)

Donald Trump gets attacked by an eagle.

You see these delectable motherflippers? These are called STATES. You stupid foreigners might not be able to wrap your head around this, but basically they're administrative subdivisions of the country.

And here's the thing: They are totally heckin' different from each other! For instance, New York:

Looks TOTALLY DIFFERENT from Kansas:

And they both look TOTALLY different from California!

Sorry, Dad. I couldn't think of a nice way to say "America Stinks!"