usually deliberative girl with anger issues

It is completely normal to feel anger. Though, sometimes the situation can get out of control and that’s not a good thing. Anger attacks usually occur in people who have depression, anxiety, anger management issues or just a really short and violent temper. It can even happen to a reserved and calm person, there are no exceptions. 

Depending on the person, anger attacks can happen in many ways. Usually the person experiencing it will feel his/her chest tightening, their heart beat will increase, some can feel dizzy, shaky, sweaty, chilly or might even feel their temperature increase sharply. Then come the feelings of intense rage and later on there may be actions preformed such as kicking, punching, screaming, etc. Though, there are some people who do not show their anger on the outside but rather keep it in, yet still feel intense stress and rage.

People who are very prone to anger attacks can get triggered easily, whether it’s a grade, family, work, talking to a person they don’t like, negative stuff on the news, etc. Here is some advice on what (not) to do during an anger attacks (some gathered from the internet, some from my own experience):

What NOT to do:

result to violence (you can break something or damage yourself badly)

talk to many people at once

throw or rip things

scream at the person/people you are talking to (at least try to refrain from doing it, because you can hurt the person’s feelings and/or regret your actions later on)

do homework or anything that involves a lot of thinking and stress

think negative things such as “this will never work” or “screw this, I’m done”

listen to your friends/people complain or talk negative things (calmly leave the conversation or tell them to stop)

drink

smoke

do drugs or anything that can damage your body

What TO do:

sit still, breathe in and out as slowly and calmly as you can (without lacking enough air, of course)

got some bubble wrap? you know what to do

eat a fruit or something sweet (but not with too much sugar) and/or drink tea or water

play rhythm games (suggested by a friend)

do something you enjoy such as drawing, writing, make-up, anything

try to distract yourself by watching comedy series/movies, youtubers, cartoons, read jokes, etc.

lie down and hug a pillow, snuggling it (you can also imagine it’s your lover or a person you like)

try to take a nap if possible

go to youtube and look up for rain audios then sit tight, close your eyes, relax your body and listen

if you’re outside then grab a leaf and start ripping it apart slowly (careful though, it’s one of the things that provides you with oxygen)

look up cute gifs of kittens or any other cute animal

do light exercises (yoga for example)

if nothing works, then a good old slap on the cheek can help (by you or another person). it may hurt and burn but it will surely bring your senses back together

If a person is having an anger attack in front of you:

do not tell them to ‘just calm down’. It will make it worse.

hugs are always a good idea. keep in mind that the person may be violent and may hurt you

do not complain about your problems or talk about negative things

ask what might be troubling them and try to help

if the person is very violent, take away anything sharp or hard that they could hurt themselves with (if possible, that is)

do not scream back at them, remain as calm as possible

offer them to do one of the things mentioned up there. there is a possibility they’ll say ‘no’. don’t force them into doing it

try to forgive them if they had hurt you in any way; you must understand that this is not something that they can control and feel great regret after offending someone

try to get medical help if you see them having rage attacks often

A rage episode is not just generic frustration, it is bouts of irrational and uncontrollable anger. It is not being able to calm yourself down no matter how much you try, and it is acting out physically in an attempt to make these feelings go away (this can be through self-harm, physical and/or verbal aggression, or damage of property). 

Rage episodes are typically associated with Intermittent Explosive Disorder, but can be related to some personality disorders (specifically; Borderline, Antisocial), Bipolar Disorder, Psychotic Disorders, Conduct Disorder, Autistic Spectrum Disorders, AD(H)D, PTSD and more.

The episodes are typically brief, less than 30 minutes, and are not premeditated, or aimed at some tangible objective. They are often infrequent, with mild to moderate chronic anger/irritability in between. Children who have experienced physical and emotional trauma are more likely to develop a vulnerability to these episodes.

Many sufferers of these attacks report that they have little or no control over the situation, or that it is as if they are watching themselves from a distance. It is not uncommon to dissociate during a rage attack as the mind tries to separate itself from the intensity of the emotion.

Although violence and other means of aggression may reoccur in people, it does not mean to say that they are violent or aggressive people. Most of the time, sufferers feel immense guilt after a rage episode, especially if they have hurt someone or damaged their property. It is rare that someone who has these attacks feels no remorse or empathy afterwards (possible exception in ASPD, Psychotic Disorders, ASD depending on symptoms and their severity).

For support and Information:

NHS - Controlling Anger

SkillsYouNeed - Anger Management Self Help

KeepYourCool Kit

Bipolar Disorder and Rage

ADHD Rage Cycle

BPD and Rage

Rage and Abandonment - BPD

Below are some of my experiences:

The problem is that rage problems do hurt people, but it’s not our fault either. Sigh, what a predicament.