CAN I JUST STOP BEING SO ANGRY AND CONFLICTED

Most people who have anger issues tend to say how counting to 10 or taking a deep breath dies not work. But I think it does in some situations. If the anger is explosive then it's not going to work. For me it's almost as if I'm not conciously thinking during an explosive attack; I'm just following my instincts. I literally do not have time to take a deep breath. But I sometimes have this internal anger that is set off by a memory or a realization. It slowly sizzles beneath the surface. Since this type of anger does not happen all at once, I have the time think 'maybe this isn't worth getting upset abou, and maybe I should take a deep breath.'

then don’t fucking stalk me either then

Today I wanted to go out and sit in the churchyard writing and reading The Bell Jar then perhaps take a trip to the record store but it's been raining and I'm so mad this is supposed to be spring and it feels nothing like it

so i'm not going to lie. there are like two people in my playwriting class that i just want to haul off and sucker punch in the mouths so that they can never speak again. god grant me the serenity not to choke these people out.