isn't she lovely?

So he's confused and trying to find out why his phone still works and when his payments stopped and says something to Shane and Shane is very casual when he says, "Oh, yeah, they put you on the family plan, they asked me to swap out your simcard."

And just leaves it there, like Shane hasn't reset Ilya's worldview, his family, on the family plan, because once Ilya started making money off playing Hockey even at a low level Grigory kicked him off his phone plan and told Ilya he needed to find his own so Ilya's been on his own plan for a long time, and Shane's parents just...

They made him part of the family, it's not just a phone plan, it's a connection he hasn't had for a long time.

Anyway, yes he tries to pay for it but the Hollanders refuse. (Shane's been covering what he thinks adding Ilya to the plan costs, it's way more than it actually cost but his parents have resigned themselves to Shane giving them money for stuff, if they don't take it he will buy them something that costs that amount, each, so they don't argue with him anymore, they can refuse to give Ilya their account number.) This backfires on them because Ilya is like Shane in too many ways but also has different interests and he doesn't know the Hollanders quite like Shane does yet, which is how David gets a motercycle that he knows Yuna won't let him ride, (she lets him as long as he and Ilya go together, again this backfires because they are racing, they never tell Shane or Yuna this and David manages to convince whatever officer pulls them over to send the ticket to his work address, eventually there is an underground officer led motercycle racing that no one but them is participating in), and Yuna gets some kind of fancy car and laptop thing for her managing.

Again this backfires because she takes over his portfolio and starts getting him endorsement deals to get back at him and it just goes back and forth until one day he asks Shane to help him pick out a house and Shane wonders if maybe he's let this go too far, he does however help Ilya pick out the house and makes sure the taxes and utilities are paid for for years because he loves his parents and he loves his boyfriend/husband so he's just going to enable whatever this is.

* New student, very small. Grace said it was pebble. Pebble is small Earth rock. Pebble likes name.

* He found out Eridians have no gender rules.

* Students brought him mineral sample. After he stopped crying he said he loves show-and-tell game. Human naming conventions oddly literal.

* I told him Earthsun grew bright.

* I took him up atop atmosphere bypass elevator to look at stars.

* He woke up from nap and found me still with him. I did not wait on his chest; he says I am heavy like “elephant” and he “couldn’t breathe.” I laid my arm over him instead, kept him close, feeling safe. He said “cuddle” was warm.

* Before class he heard younglings singing.

* He has plants in house from sprouts on ship. Plant grew “bud.”

* Engineers got seawater temperature right. He took off shoes and stood in water, sighing. He didn’t care about pants getting damp. Cried until shirt was also damp. Humans very endlessly wet.

* He missed “Doritos.”

* Adrian helped food scientists make taumoeba dried paste. Made it crunchy after heating. We fused it into triangle form. Told him it was Tauritos. That made him laugh-cry. Laugh-cry is rare and precious.

* He remembered Eridians have no gender rules.

* We made him celebration outfit. Used metals he calls pretty. He can see frequencies named “colorful” and “shiny.” These make humans happiest.

* I gave him hug when he wasn’t expecting it. Easier to hug close now with exosuit. Hug when Grace sitting down so he does not fall over.

GOD

yuna and david were supposed to go to this game but thought they would have to cancel because they'd already agreed to going out to dinner with some friends who canceled last minute and then david had to work late, so yuna decided to drive up to montreal after all, and SHANE! WHO THOUGHT THIS PLAN WAS ALREADY CANCELED! THUS DIDN'T CHECK HIS PHONE WHEN HE AGREED TO LET ROZANOV COME OVER THE DAY BEFORE THE GAME, WHICH THEY DON'T ALWAYS DO.

which means yuna lets herself into shane's apartment (because why wouldn't she? shane's not texting back, which is strange, but maybe he's sick? it is flu season. and she has his key anyway.) ONLY TO FIND! SHANE AND ILYA ROZANOV SHIRTLESS ON SHANE'S COUCH AND ALMOST GIVING EACH OTHER BLACK EYES WITH THE SPEED WITH WHICH THEY SCRAMBLE OFF OF EACH OTHER.

and like??? really only ONE FUCKING THING they could have been doing!! very obvious what she just interrupted!!!

and oh...OH. all of this talk about how it's complicated and how shane can't openly be with his partner and yeah. yeah she gets it now. (yuna, oh my god). it ALL makes sense now. (yuna, please.) and yeah, kind of a mindfuck that her son's partner is the man?? who is supposed to be his greatest rival?? but she's already had a year of knowing shane was seeing SOMEONE. sooooo uh. hello, i'm yuna, we've met before but not under these circumstances, it's so nice to meet you finally for real, and-

and meanwhile ilya?? no fucking idea what's going on. kind of having a heart attack because jesus FUCK does he have a lot to lose if this gets out, but also?? she's shane's mom?? so she can't out him without outing shane and he's pretty sure she's not going to do that-

and then he registers that shane is Fully Freaking The Fuck Out. like straight up looks like he's about to pass out. and he doesn't know what's going on, but he knows shane looks like there is nothing happening in his head but aol dial-up noises and car wreck noises. and like. listen. ilya is also thrown for a loop, but he's not actually an asshole. he can tell shane is fucking TERRIFIED, so he's going to try and do what he can.

and what's the easiest answer to give when he doesn't know what's happening? agreeing with everything yuna is telling him.

yep. he is indeed shane's partner. he doesn't FULLY know that he understands exactly what that is, but he can figure that out when hollander doesn't actively look like he's going to pass tf out on him.

it's also at this point that yuna clocks back in enough (listen, sue her, okay, she has been DYING to know for a year now, so yeah she got excited and single mind tracked for a bit) to realize that her son and her son's partner are both still shirtless and she CLEARLY just interrupted Adult Alone Time, so she 180s and is like, "i'm going to go get some coffee, honey, you two can...*vague handwave* and oh! actually! your dad might miss the game, but he can still drive up tonight and we can have dinner here and-" and she is full Yuna Hollander Full Steam Ahead.

and then yuna is gone and it's shane and ilya.

and shane just. slooooowly curls up on his knees on the floor because What The Fucking Fuck Just Fucking Happened.

and ilya is also still a little ???? but puts a pin in that to talk hollander down from the ledge because man looks Bad.

and now they've got like. MAYBE 30 minutes to try and come up with a fake ass story for this dinner they're apparently going to have.

AND THEY STILL HAVE TO PLAY A FUCKING GAME BEFORE THEN.

and shane is just, "i know this is so weird. i am so sorry. trust me, i would willingly walk into traffic if i thought that would fix this. please just go along with it and i will explain whatever i can explain later-"

so they end up having dinner and managing to pull this act out of their ASSES. and they nearly fumble when shane starts to call him rozanov, but he can't do that with his partner, can he? that feels weird. so he calls him ilya, and ilya feels a little !!! zip inside him because oh!! that's!! new!! and oddly nice!! so calls him shane back.

so now they've broken the seal on first names. apparently. some fucking how.

and because yuna is yuna and DID HER FUCKING WAITING, she is inviting ilya to come to ottawa for the easter long weekend since they'll have time and it's not a couple's holiday anyway and he won't be going back to russia with such a short turnaround time-

and. listen. does shane feel great about this? no.

but it still feels better than having to look his mother in the face and say his partner is actually just a guy he fucks sometimes with no strings attached (jesus christ, shane.)

and ilya...is kind of just. going along. this is weird and also potentially complicated, but now gets to put his arm around shane? and call him shane? and he gets to pretend to play boyfriends because they have the understanding that This Is Fake? tbh? kind of ideal. the fun of playing boyfriend without having to admit ANYTHING to himself.

the biodome team watching grace get up in the middle of the night and easily navigate his hut without turning any lights on:

I’m just imagining Shane being like “wow all of these people love me and Spaghetti this is so awesome” and feeling comfortable enough to get a second snake except this snake weighs 50lbs and eats whole quail and his enclosure is the entire walk-in closet of the snake room.

Shane loves walking around with his new buddy (free weight training) or cuddling on the couch (free weighted blanket).

GOD POOR ILYA

he's seen pictures of baby spaghetti and is like, "okay, maybe if i just am around it from the time it is very small, things will be better. i can adjust."

and then the "baby snake" shane wanted ENDS UP BEING! A STILL FUCK OFF BIG SNAKE!!

.also, scale reference! just the wheel is 70 feet in diameter