what

flaccid penis... it's chic, it's hip, it's the next big thing

it's the next thing

AU where the women in straight porn just grunt and say stuff like "take that big pussy, bitch" while the men scream and moan and convulse and arch their backs while shouting "Oh my god! You're wrecking my dick!"

"become a fish" (gay)

men will jump through an entire circus' worth of hoops rather than admitting they're bi

The level of mental hoops that guy had to jump through to say to his wife, "No, honey! Of course I wouldn't be cheating on you! Sex during gaycations doesn't count!"

this is an insane story

that’s just the beauty of the gaycation

you literally have to unironically listen to some shit like party rock anthem so you don’t kill yourself

save me, rice mixed with some bullshit

affirmations they will not kill me at work today. it is not in my job description to get killed. if they did kill me at work that would be weird and probably not worth it for them

wound dressings and bandages are lingerie for the enlightened pervert

I do think the post that's like "when they torture you to insanity and then torture you for being insane 😂🤣" is one of the most succinct and foundational analyses of interpersonal violence and conflict that had ever been written

imagine with me now. a robot that is a pervert