“Just because you’re Goth doesn’t mean you’re tough.”
- Lord Otto Einfasen (as paraphrased by Whitney Moore)
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“Just because you’re Goth doesn’t mean you’re tough.”
- Lord Otto Einfasen (as paraphrased by Whitney Moore)

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Is your Dungeons and Dragons character too happy? Are they too settled into their life and thusly require some kind of personal tragedy to motivate them to leave it and take up a life of adventuring? Try Primus Tachonis!
Primus Tachonis is an all-purpose personal tragedy creator sure to spur your character to adventure specifically so they can get his ass. Whether you need an old money asshole muscling in on an institution beloved to your PC or an evil sorcerer to slaughter their entire family Primus Tachonis has the magic and the social station to create whatever tragedy is required to serve your backstory.
Primus Tachonis is so versatile as a backstory tool he has professional D&D players raving:
Primus Tachonis killed my character's best friend and now she has to figure out who she is without him! -Laura Bailey I wrote a light backstory because I was still feeling out the setting and my dungeon master used Primus Tachonis to turn my brother into a statue! -Travis Willingham Primus Tachonis is trying to take over my character's magic school and endangering her students, and she will not have that! -Marisha Rey I had intended my character to have a tense but ultimately repairable relationship with his father, but then my DM used Primus Tachonis to rip his skull from his head. Now my character is on a quest to kill every member of Primus' noble house! -Matthew Mercer My character was a happy and established local playwright until Primus Tachonis had his little brother executed. Now he's taken up the sword again in his brother's stead! -Liam O'Brian I needed someone to murder my character's wife and daughter and my dungeon master suggested Primus Tachonis, and I couldn't be happier with the result! -Robbie Daymond Even works on members of his own family! -Alexander Ward
So don't miss out on the one-man solution to forcing your character to feel the call to adventure, try Primus Tachonis today!
I change my thought process and the intention of the spell to request that Dame Seremai protect me one more time.
CRITICAL ROLE 4.29 Opening Night
CRITICAL ROLE 4.29 Opening Night
The Tachonis: "Yes, it was us who faked the feast at the Palazzo Davinos so we could slaughter all of House Royce and their vassals and servants."
Also the Tachonis, like ten minutes later: "Alright, members of other Sundered Houses and their vassals and servants, please join us for this feast we have made for you."

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My laugh out loud moment for the first episode of CriticalRole! Loved the interaction between Marisha and Taliesin.
Someone in another post referred to Nullus Tachonis as “Nothing/Zero.”
That gave me the perhaps wonky thought process of:
Nullus Tachonis is “Nothing/Zero.”
Termina is specifically considered “no thing, or nothing.”
Put them together, would they cancel each other out, being double nothing?
Double or nothing.
No…
It’d be double nothing.
Keep them far, far away from each other. That’s how you get the Never Ending Story antagonist, man.
That’s a devil’s wording in a plot line just waiting to be launched on an unsuspecting campaign. Probably after the characters are after level 12 at least, though. I’d hope. Preferably level 20. That sounds apocalyptic. Termina on Nullus. Oh ye gods no.
Has Mayali visited the Mercanauds, I wonder? The reason I wonder this came at the end of c4e29 when Filoneus says, “Another little falcon for the tailor shop” as Kattigan is being taken away.
Having your soul/shadow stripped from you might just put you under the direct control of a demon, presumably Ksha’aravi. You’ll still have your own mind, but your will is someone else’s.
I suppose it could be Aramàn’s version of the Winter Soldier program, as I postulated in another ramble. The “wild ride at sunrise” might have been to The Pit.
Mayali’s story might be a completely different branch, dealing with the assassin guild I’ve utterly blanked on the name of from Argosia and have nothing to do with the fiendish tailors, but it would explain why she looks so desiccated.
There are so many beautiful, scary, and moving moments in c4e29 - Opening Night, but one of my absolute favourites has to be the little invisible satyr nomming on the pamphlets. It’s a tiny moment only there for flavour, but it makes me giggle every time, and I’m not a giggler.
Up th’Creed’s arse, indeed.
I definitely get the feeling that Something is going to happen with Dame Gaya’s corpse. She has Gentle Repose cast on her so she can’t be made into an undead, but who knows what the Tachonis might wangle.
Poor Dame Gaya. The Tachonis screwed her so badly. Not Occtis so much, as he tried to give her an opportunity to regain her honour. But the twins and the rest of them? Even Tertia. Tertia just ended up the ultimate symbol of them. Yeah, Gaya was chewed up and spat out by that family. Having something happen with the corpse would be one final indignity to that poor soldier.

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Speculations
I think if anyone is going to die in c4e29, it’ll be Hannan. Even though he’s level 18, he strikes me as the kind of character set up to give Vaelus impetus to stay with the larger group. I hope not as I like the healing journey they’re both starting on, but I can see this as a viable plot route.
I think Whitney is crying in the promo because Tyranny is forced apart from Wick for some reason. Probably a change of contract or alteration of what’s going on with the CC, but it might be through injury or Granny being a bitch.
There’s the potential for a big rabid celestial being set loose at the Villa and for Primus to return as a Sepulchral Lord and be another. Cyd will have to be taken to the Isle of Mercy to stop the bugger, setting up the next arc - would that be Seekers or Soldiers?
I think what’s happening at the Round is going to be the release of Rungjani souls through the elation and enjoyment of the crowd at the play. The inspiration and themes of rebellion and freedom will stir Dol-Makjar to stand up against the Sundered Houses. Whether we literally get the paintings coming to life and being imbued with Rungjani souls to fight as well we will have to see.
Not sure what will happen with the Figment and Bolaire paintings, but I think the scariest threat at the Hallowed Round is Termina/Lady Cormoray potentially being loose.
Two celestials and a cracked god prison mask potentially could come into play, or none of it might turn up and it may simply be more mundane threats this time around, the rest set up for later times in the campaign. We’ll have to see which way this all shakes out.
I hope they stick Bolaire on Yanessa's face
I think both she and the one I’m about to propose might be way too high a level for Bolaire to be able to properly dominate, but please consider my counter proposal:
Filoneus.
*snerk*
I appreciate where you're going with this, it would be funny, but we're going for very different vibes because I want Yanessa to be very seriously neutralized and to suffer
Oh ye gods yes. Yanessa is such a good villain I want her to get her very much earned comeuppance, and to get it at the … uh … face? of a god killing theatre mask would be fantastic. She’s so fake that there’s a certain poetic justice in that. I’d love to see what mindscape Bolaire would put her in, too. I just hope he’d keep her alive and suffering for a good long time; perhaps the amount of time she’s been draining a certain angel celestial for filament.
Speaking of, I’m also barracking for the idea of Aetheon stomping the crap out of her, though that would be way too fast for what she deserves. Maybe if the 30’ angel chased her for a while then stuck her in the retort. Chomping her with his rows and rows of unsharpened teeth?
I have Thoughts.
I hope they stick Bolaire on Yanessa's face
I think both she and the one I’m about to propose might be way too high a level for Bolaire to be able to properly dominate, but please consider my counter proposal:
Filoneus.
*snerk*
Did they have Kattigan playing a Candescent Creed version of Longinus in the fake Ko’Therai?
Argh, it was Hal and the Schemers that painted the blades, not Shadia. Shadia actually used them and therefore turned them from relics into props through use, but it was Hal and co who actually painted them.
Shadia reforged them into anchors, but it was through the usage, not the painting.

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I wonder - did Cyd and Teor’s light powers show up around the same time in the Falconer’s Rebellion as Bolaire’s awakening? If so, what was the instigating force/incident, if there was one? Did anything else happen for some in our cast at the same time?
Marisha: who did not level up?
Taliesin: I'm in a handbag.