Oxymoronic Blue Stars

This is a spot from an italian estate agency (we are governed by the right-wing party)

The woman says "Ridiculous..."

Eiden: Oh it's a boring MC with no personality ->->-> actually he has a HUGE personality and is super charismatic. but he also grew up with neglect and no permanent connections. one time he tried to reestablish a friendship and it was all a pretense to manipulate and violate him. he is a fundamentally lonely person who wants to have some stability but does not believe that he's worthy of it. also he fucks himself multiple times Aster and Morvay: oh it's a bottom bitch femboy vamp and a succubus ->->-> they both struggle with their creator/master disappearing for long periods of time, even decades. blaming him would be too painful so they wonder if something about themselves is fundamentally flawed. also the "bottom bitch" is a stone top with a huge strap Yakumo: it's a yandere-ish quiet guy ->->-> actually he's very good friends with his metamors and is just insecure about his own place. he was born into one culture but adopted into another, and was fully accepted in neither. his adoptive grandparents are great, and he has connections in his village, but he feels as though he is one mistake away from losing it all, including eiden. even if he doesn't hurt eiden, he worries that he will outlive him. also his schlong is long

Edmond: it's the tsundere ->->-> a devoted knight who struggles with keeping his morals while adhering to his king's orders. grieving a loss that profoundly affected him, worrying that it will happen to the person he now loves. also he likes sweet food a lot

Olivine: oh it's the priest who will be corrupted ->->-> okay actually he's already "corrupted" in the sense that he is massively horny but has been shamed all his life to believe that wanting anything is corrupt, even the basic joys of childhood. He is so used to emotional abuse and punishment from his parents that when he "sinned" by being a normal teenager with hormones he dished punishment on himself via self harm. despite it all, even with priesthood being a shackle on him, he loves his religion and he loves helping people through being a priest. also he has huge boobs, I mean some serious honkers. A real set of badonkers. Packin' some dobonhonkeros.

Quincy: sleepy guy ->->-> isolated man who was rejected from the very tribe he swore to protect. scared of getting attached, as he is used to loss and expects his love one to die. also his dick is huge.

Kuya: kind of abusive/problematic love interest ->->-> more of a prankster than anything that deep (but he likes to pretend he's more dangerous than he is). bitter about his companion (love interest?) disappearing and eiden reappearing in his place, but learning to love again. chronically suicidal due to the sheer boredom of being hundreds of years old. also he knotted eiden once

Garu and Karu: oh no, DID, I'm sure this won't go well ->->-> unironically probably the best DID rep i've ever seen??? fantastic depiction that finds a sweet spot between "these are two different people" but also "they share a brain and body so there will be crossover." Karu isn't remotely a Bad Alter (though he'd like you to think so, at least at first). Everyone collectively views them as separate identities. also they play rock paper scissors to determine who should front.

Blade: Oh it's Clear DMMD ->->-> yeah kinda Clear DMMD, but has intrinsic ties to overall lore and a very open gender presentation and struggles with social cues that in ways that can be very relatable to neurodivergent people. also he loves dresses Dante: Cranky guy with orientalism issues ->->-> okay to be fair the orientalism is there, but his crankiness comes from a deep place of hurt due to losing his parents. he knows that kindness can lead to violence so he tries to push down his feelings as much as possible. also he's a cat dad

Hope I’m allowed to post this lmao

Me watching idiots on Twitter/X whinging about how they want AO3 to be monetized and to censor all the ick ew omg stuff they hate and my special favorite: OMG WHY CAN'T THESE WEIRDOS GO OFF AND CREATE THEIR OWN SITE

::aid whispers in ear::

What? People have tried that before? Huh. Why hasn't--

::aid whispers in ear::

Two months in, and Alabaster already resented Wolfgang. [said i'd get sick of you / wolfabaster / rated teen]

Diplomacy was delicate work. Ethan had to imagine it was so, or perhaps the diplomat¹ cowering in the gold merely feared for his life. [Negotiations with a Dragon (and Other Bad Decisions) / lukethaug / rated teen]

Early morning suits the Glade well. [Fly Straight and True (Irresistible Force Paradox) / minwolf / rated general]

It started with several things. [Scene II.V: Hang Me, Oh Hang Me / jonajiho / rated general]

The average human has five million pores, twenty thousand of which speckle the face. [rubien wip — robot fabien]

It all started with a little red bag. [rubien wip — proposal/marriage customs au]

Little Trouble wakes up first. Yhey waste no time squirming from Ru’s arms (kicking him in the gut in the process—ah, the joys of parenthood) and scrambling off in the loud thunder of bare feet down the corridor. [rubien wip — family au]

It was too much to hope that Nasrin was waiting for him by the door when he got home—it was too much to hope at all, but Auggie had never been overly good at Cool, Calm & Collected; his Cool was painfully out-of-date, and the only thing he Collected was more nerves. [auggierin wip — post-manhattan au]

The moment Auggie opened the door, he knew his plans had changed. [lukethaug wip — modern au]

2. Rubies and sapphires are intrinsically linked.

3. When Rui Kamishiro met Mizuki Akiyama, he felt a kinship with the fellow loner.

4. The lord does not care for the devil, and the devil knew this.

5. Percy was used to—what he and his colleagues called them—merverts.

6. It wasn’t needed anymore externally, but internally it was eating Mollymauk up.

7. “Where is my red pen?”

8. Rain graced the surface of the sea as Nico strolled along the beach.

9. Le Fauci Di Crono was the last place Percy expected to be employed at, but the owner, Nico di Angelo, seemed pleased enough with his resume.

10. “Cole! You should come hear what I did to Zane’s voice! I worked really hard on it!”