☆ certified jason grace expert ☆

ik i need to go to the gym and want to go to the gym bc i pay for the membership and my general health and i feel better when i go but it’s really hard to motivate myself when i’m already not leaving the house and at both branches i’ve been harassed and exploited for sexual gratification by different creepy men. it’s like Hey Do You Wanna Go To The Sexual Harassment Factory. To Experience Sexual Harassment. Your Ass Is Still Flat Bc You Don’t Eat Enough Protein Btw

the average person with bad taste can be into some extremely banal garbage but when you get close enough to someone with otherwise good taste that they start a recommendation by going off on a preamble about how they don't necessarily recommend it you know you're seconds away from hearing about some real torturously wretched dogshit

friend from work will have you watch a two hour movie where you can feel every second as it passes by, but enemployed movie mutual will put you on the kind of shit that feels like crawling on cobblestone until emaciated

people are reading this as the latter friend recommending dry, pretentious cinema. that's not the case. not that kind of situation. you're getting no enrichment out of this. I need you to understand they're making you watch Gooby because "it's kinda good"

Not to insert myself here but as someone who owns Ghost Rider 1 and 2 on DVD I do actually need everyone to watch it right now because in the second one a kid asks Nick Cage as Ghost Rider how he pees and Nick Cage says “it’s like a flamethrower” and then they hard cut to a CGI skeleton in full black moto leather pissing a jet of fire and then it does a shoulder check at the camera and nods like “hell yeah brother”

love island should introduce a "scheming eunuch" islander who is like a smart and completely asexual islander exempt from being kicked off or being made to participate in any challenges and they're just there to provide advice and be a sort of sounding board for the other islanders when they need a disinterested party to talk things through with. but the scheming eunuch has secret goals unbeknownst to anyone e.g. a cash prize for talking a certain couple into breaking up etc.

I’m soooooo embarrassed. My lord told me “good night,” but I thought he was calling me a good knight, and, well, you could hear it clink against my codpiece.