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Intro Post 🫶
My Ao3 ✍
What I Write (Paused For Longfics) 💌
On Sending Asks 📥

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Guys Shane getting high with Ilya for the first time non horny takes because obvious Shane gets crazy horny with weed- but ! I think Ilya like sees his shoulders drop a few cm from how he usually holds them tense and up. He’s all loose limbed and soft, spread out draped on the couch like wrung out fabric and his eyes are all huge soft heavy blinks. And he rolls his head towards Ilya and gives him this gorgeous adoring smile and just exhales “you’re just so beautiful Ilya” his hand on his cheek. Oh it’s so soft. “So fucking handsome baby. Woooow” said in soft awe to himself, soft knuckles over the back of Ilyas cheek. “I love these teeth” when Ilya smiles at him, sticking his fingers in ilyas mouth to touch the wonky ones. Then “oh my god Ilya” and Ilya is like what? And Shane is like “Ilya we should get cheeseburgers I haven’t had cheeseburgers in soooo long I love them. I want extra pickles” and Ilya buys him four cheeseburgers and fries and a shake because Shane never asks him for junk food and they eat on the couch and Shane eats three of the burgers and the fries and splits the shake with Ilya. And Ilya loves Shane, his Shane bur it does feel special to see his boy so open relaxed and carefree, get a peek of what’s ticking inside his Shane’s brain all the time
thinking about statues of Grace being built all around Erid years after his passing so he can continue to watch over Eridians as they sleep
the worst part of summer is that people get sooo comfortable expressing their disgust at having to see other people’s bodies. they’re always complaining about wrinkly old men at the nude hot springs or fat women in bikinis at the beach. I hate that shit. if you’re not capable of being normal about bodies you personally don’t find attractive, just turn your head to look at something else! and if you’re not smart enough to do that, then at least do the rest of us the courtesy of suffering in silence, because we don’t wanna hear your weird comments. thanks.

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i’m taking a sped class this summer (accommodating students with special needs) and one of my projects is to, well, offer some accommodations for a hypothetical autistic teen who is “behind socially” because he “sings, dances, and grabs his crotch to emulate Michael Jackson” as described in his psych report and like. i’m sorry that kid sounds rad as hell we shouldn’t be correcting his behavior at all lmao
there are behaviors in here that do need accommodations and work ofc (it’s a detailed 12 page report) but like. i kinda feel the need to defend this fictional teen a little?? it says he “needs to learn how to use his free time in an age appropriate way” meanwhile he’s working at a grocery store to save up for video games, plays a lot of video games, and lifts weights. i literally can’t think of something more on brand for a 15 year old boy
should I get a masters or jump into a river and swim away forever. vote now
Turns out you can roll a 7 on a d6
but only once.
i think this captures the defining pathology of the collective social media psyche right now. we are in the thrall of people who are wantonly cruel but who also demand to be coddled at all times in every way
i’m taking a sped class this summer (accommodating students with special needs) and one of my projects is to, well, offer some accommodations for a hypothetical autistic teen who is “behind socially” because he “sings, dances, and grabs his crotch to emulate Michael Jackson” as described in his psych report and like. i’m sorry that kid sounds rad as hell we shouldn’t be correcting his behavior at all lmao

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i will say as much as i’ve struggled with disordered eating/body image (not anymore) nothing quite turns me off the spiral like the. coquette ED shit. the “I just wanna be light as a feather so that My Hypothetical Man could pick me up 🥺🎀✨” like. if you’re 120 or 250 pounds you’re telling me your hypothetical man can’t pick you up?? girl that’s not a you problem he needs to get his ass in the gym 🤨
I’m going to level with you. I have listened to The Devil Went Down to Georgia for most of my life. We were a country music household, this was a staple of my childhood along with Johnny Cash, Garth Brooks, and that one Chipmunks country album.
I have no idea what “Fire on the mountain run boys run/The Devil's in the house of the rising sun/Chicken in the bread pan picking out dough/Granny does your dog bite no child no” means and at this point I’m too scared to ask.
For once I can be of assistance.
Each of the lyrics comes from an old-time hickory song for fiddles, and is a lyric from that corresponding song.
"Fire on the Mountain" --> "Fire on the Mountain, run boys run"
Fire On The Mountain - Fiddle Player POV
"The House of the Rising Sun" --> "The Devil's in the house of the rising sun"
House of the Rising Sun
"Ida Red" --> "Chicken in the bread pan peckin' out dough"
Ida Red - Bob Wills & His Texas Playboys
"Granny Will Your Dog Bite" --> "Granny does your dog bite? 'No child, no'."
FTC #149 Granny Will Your Dog Bite
And for your furthered education, The Mountain Whipporwill.
Mountain Whippoorwill (aka How Hillbilly Jim Won the Great Fiddler's Prize)
this is the key part of the song, that a lot of people miss. people have this misconception that the contest between Johnny and The Devil is about who is the better fiddle player. but it isn't. its about who is the better fiddler.
in a time before things like radios and record players, every time you heard music was because there was somebody in the room with you playing an instrument. and many, many, many social events involved dancing, which requires music. so, if you're planning any kind of gathering in the american south or appalachia, you need to find a fiddler. and the fiddler's job is to play music that everybody knows and likes and can dance to.
the mistake The Devil makes in his bet with Johnny is that he misinterprets the contest as being about technical ability, so he has this big flashy song. he plays fast and impressively with a band of demons playing unfamiliar instruments in unfamiliar rhythms. he's definitely more skilled at playing than Johnny, and thinks he has it in the bag.
but Johnny wins because the contest is about being the best fiddler. the song uses these lines mentioned above as a shorthand for saying that Johnny is playing these songs. Johnny launches into a set of the most popular songs, played well, and that's what gives him his big win. A good fiddler knows all the hits, and can read the room to know what to play next. The Devil loses because he completely fails to read the room, and doesn't know the right songs.
[doesn't understand jacking off] and I'm supposed to... touch my penis? [shaking my head and smiling, murmuring to myself] touching my own penis... [chuckles] what will they come up with next
WAIT guys im not done horny posting… one more thing… Shane and Ilya have bare sex, ok and Shane is all have you ever you know done that with anyone before? And Ilya is like hm no not really and Shane is like what do you mean not really. And Ilya is like well with girls sometimes when I was drunk and being stupid, but I’d always pull out- I’ve only ever cum inside you Shane. And Shane is like. Oh. Because it kinda didn’t matter if Ilya had- but he kinda loves that only he’s given Ilya that. And then he’s just like “I can’t really picture you being able to pull out” and Ilya is like all eye brows and “what? What kind of chirp is this Hollander? I am not so stupid to maybe get someone pregnant” and Shane is just all shrug- “well whenever we- everytime we’ve fucked, even with a condom you don’t want to come anywhere but inside me. And you push in so deep when you cum sometimes it knocks my breath out. So. I just can’t see it” he shrugs and Ilya is all.
“What the fuck shane” and he’s maybe a little hard, and Shane is like “I mean it’s really hot. I like it. I just think you’d suck at pulling out” and he’s got a little smirk and Ilya is like woooow. Turns into bickering which turns into play fighting which turns into dry humping- which turns into Shane on his back with his legs slung over Ilya’s hips, Ilya pushing into him bare and slick with lube.
Once he’s all the way inside, mouth panting against Shane’s, Shane stroking his hand through his hair he’s like “make sure you pull out okay?” And Ilya pulls back to catch Shane’s eye and that little gleam he gets in it and oh game on. Ilya is like “of course baby, don’t wanna get you pregnant, metros stand no chance without next season if you’re knocked up” and Shane’s mouth drops open and his cock throbs between them and he lets out a tiny choked sound and oh. Ilya will be investigating that more later.
But it Shane so it’s game on and he swallows and he says “mm only if you can’t control yourself big boy” and Ilya hates how much that turns him on- and then they’re fucking and Shane is squirmy and loud under him, hands all over Ilya’s chest and neck and face and down his back and gripping at his ass and Ilya loooves that he can fuck him like this now, on his back and glued close and not hiding anything between them anymore. Ilyas getting close and his brain is swimming because he won’t prove Shane right- he won’t but fuck it feels so fucking good and Shane is so tight and wet and perfect around him and his cock looks so pretty throbbing and jolting with Ilya’s thrusts and he loves the way Shane shakes around him after he’s cum and Ilya keeps fucking him through it till he fills him and he wants that and he- he can’t he’s going to be good.
And then shane is kissing him, pulling at his hair, scratching at his scalp and saying “m close” Ilya all low and soft and fuck Ilya loves him and only Ilya gets him like this and they both need this so badly- it’s the whole universe, how good this feels. And Ilya needs Shane to feel good, he’s nodding, kissing Shane back the best he can as he fucks him, harder, deeper, presses his legs apart further the leverage down and in the way Shane loves and Shane is whining, throwing his head back and mumbling “Ilya Ilya” and Ilya might die, like this, he thinks one day because it’s too good. It’s already heaven.
“Let go sweetheart” Ilya is mumbling and shane is nodding and he’s slurring out “don’t cum, don’t cum inside remember, you can’ get me preg-” and Ilya is fucking him harder then, Shane’s words stuttering off and he cums, back bowed and all over his stomach and chest and he’s so fucking tight round Ilya and Ilya is so fucking close. So close. He needs to cum- but he needs to cum inside Shane.
He’s never once had an issue with pulling out, happy to cover tits or face or ass in his cum instead, but Shane is all dazed and shivery and post orgasm gorgeous on his cock and his hands are grabbing soft and open at Ilya’s back and neck, holding him close and Shane loves being full, Ilya knows this, Ilya loves filling him, he stays inside Shane after sex for as long as he can most times and it’s not right it’s not what he wants, to pull out of the warm secure home of Shane’s body, where he belongs, where Shane takes him like it’s devotion. Ilya is shivering, his shoulder wracking as he fucks Shane and his pace is slowed and he tries to force his hips to stay on the out stroke. To pull back- but he can’t, he can’t stop driving in, helpless little fucks of his good because this feels to good, being Shane’s, connected to him, fucking him open, fitting him on him he can’t make himself stop.
Ilya frowns and looks up at Shane and Shane is head back, mouth parted, soft smile as he takes Ilya’s thrusts, his hand on Ilya’s cheek now, thumb rubbing and Shane mumbles after a big content sigh “fuck baby I love your cock” and then Ilya is whining, low and driving into Shane, all the way, sinking his cock so deep it must hurt a bit for Shane, till he has no more space to go and he cums so hard his thigh and lower stomach cramp with it, Shaking as he ruts and pushes up up up into Shane, filling him.
When they both have words again, Shane giggles, fuck drunk and swats at Ilya’s ass and Ilya is shaking his head and pinching at Shane’s sides and calling him a cheat! A fucking cheat! He didn’t play faiiir and Shane is laughing, open and happy and locks his legs behind Ilya’s back when he does threaten to pull out and kisses his head and tell him it’s okay he won’t tell alone his pull out game is weak and Ilya pins his hands to the bed to tickle him until Shane is kicking at him and flushed all the way down his chest and Ilya gives in. He slumps onto Shane, biting back his smile. Fuck Shane is so fun and lovely and hot and everything he could have ever wanted. He puts his hand over Shane’s stomach, spreading his cum out with his fingers, making a mess that Shane will start to bitch about in the next ten or so seconds but Ilya beats him to it, pulls back to look at Shane and ask “what will we call the baby?” And then Shane is pushing Ilya out of him, avoiding eye contact and flushing and stumbling on dazed legs to the shower. Ilya catches his smile in the bathroom mirror as Ilya chases after him.

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there is no greater joy on this earth than Making Lists, Categorizing, & Sorting
oh do I have the game for you
I could . not. put. this down for 48 hours - stayed up too late, had weird dreams about it, woke up early, and played it while I was supposed to be doing other things. the last several dozen items took a lot of googling, which I do not even begrudge it.
and then. My partner started it. And the SAME THING happened to him.
surprisingly compelling. start when you have free time. like, yanno, a snow day.
oh my god, if you are the kind of person who gets sucked into logic puzzles, do not click that link if you have to do anything/go to sleep in the next couple hours
I was disappointed there weren't more levels, so I made them! The creator's code was under CC Share Alike, so I moved a copy to my website, rustled up 40 new categories, and added buttons so you can generate smaller puzzles!
Check it out! More levels!
☝️ do you know what a snow cone is ✌️do you have a favorite flavor of one
yeah i do 😭 i always go for grape but blue raspberry is good too. strawberry/red is goated too but i feel like they never have it when i’m around