the trash christians will find u

As time goes by, you’ll know why.

shit I missed my window, next week I guess

Reblog on Tuesday to let your followers know it’s safe to leave the bog

Serious question: What is an oven drawer?

Isn’t that where the pots and pans go?

fair enough but i feel like if shoes go in and fire comes out it’s probably the broiler

Oh thank god it’s sometimes a drawer. I thought I had a broiler for years and never used it.

So there’s a compartment that SOMETIMES is extra storage and SOMETIMES is full of fire?

Yep, basically.

when ppl act like leaving gifts for fairies is to get the fairies’ attention so they’ll be kind to you~~ when really leaving gifts for fairies is the supernatural equivalent of a mafia protection racket

gotta pay off the Mab

can we not do gifted kid discourse Again..... like. please lol

the "pennywise is surprisingly homophobic" screenshot kills me bc im trying to imagine a point in time where someone watched IT and went "the clown thats killing all these people is probably a gay rights activist on the side though"

Well, which one is it going to be?

having the DMV area Craigslist bookmarked has never come in handy before but now

Update, Craigslist has flagged my post as inappropriate.

My wife has now read this and wonders how baby gays are even meeting and mating

Can confirm I am meeting and mating just fine 😂

By the way I’m in a relationship with this woman now

me

Woah your an "audiophile"? You listen to music? That's crazy.

I hate music. I also hate to travel. I like to sit in the same silent room.

i am so disappointed at how many of you missed the joke