circus music plays ominously in the background

yo mr white can you sign my permission slip so i can go to the aquarium bitch

jesse. you need money to enter jesse.

yo mr white can i have $5 to go to the aquarium it's for school bitch

jesse. do you want some money for the gift shop jesse.

yeah mr white. can i have money to get lunch there too please. bitch

of course jesse. bring me back a cuttlefish plush jesse

you got it mr white

thank you jesse

yuri and yaoi are some of the best, most sacred things in the entire world

women & bitches love my cavern

Can you shut up about your cavern

TO THE PIT WITH YOU !

penis blast nefarious

diverse types of penis blast call the penis blast various

penis blast electrical

penis blast delectable

penis blast campaigning call the penis blast electable

One time I had a dream that Taylor and I moved in with some people and there was two other cats with them and one of the guys just said, “So are we just not gonna talk about that cat that looks like bleu cheese?” And I knew he was talking about my cat and I woke up in a killing rage because he said Leeloo looked like bleu cheese.

The earlier you post this the funnier it is

see when people try and nitpick me because i call my dog "my dog" when it's technically "the family dog".......well first of all i still call my brother "my brother" and not "the family boy". although maybe that should change. second of all sorry i'm still thinking about the family boy. btw i fell asleep while making this post last night and i think you can tell

dating simulator where it starts normal but it slowly becomes clear that all of the romanceable characters are attempting to cover up an extremely specific murder they committed a year ago before you arrived

I understand that most of your calls can be resolved by telling the dumbass on the other end to plug it in properly, or maybe turn something off and back on again. But I, an advanced dumbass, have already tried that and I'm afraid it's worse than either of us thought going into this.

Once had an IT guy tell me the only possible explanation was a localised black hole under my desk disrupting the space time continuum, and I've always been obscurely proud of having an error that severe, even though it definitely wasn't me creating localised gravitational anomalies

I once had a computer problem so weird that it was escalated through like 4 different tiers of Apple Care until I was on the phone with this incredibly earnest guy who told me [in the thickest Eastern European accent imaginable]: "Oh my God... This is so strange... Haha!! Oh my God!!! Charlie, I will tell you, I have never encountered anything like this in my seven years of working here! All my days are spent usually helping people with stupid nonsense, but Charlie, you have brought me a PUZZLE! You have brought me a GIFT! I am FASCINATED! Now, I am going to get my manager, but Charlie, I PROMISE you. I PROMISE YOU, I will be back soon. PLEASE, Charlie, stay with me, and I PROMISE I will return to you and my manager and I will take care of you. OK?" and yes thank you i did tear up

if someone said this on one of my post i dont know what id do