God forbid women do anything

“are you okay?” oh my god no but for the purposes of this conversation yes i’m fine

(guy who's not getting anything done voice) I need to learn every skill and all information

*looks at polyamorous triad* so which of you is the soldier and which is the poet and which is the king

When I was a little boy, girls used to just do random cartwheels for no reason. Then one day, they stopped. Now that I am a man, no women randomly do cartwheels. This is because society is evil and killed the cartwheel impulse in their soul. They don't even spin horizontally anymore. It's fucked up.

i may have my father's worst traits but i am more ethical & virtuous with them than him

“I asked chatgpt” well I journeyed to Rivendell to seek council of Elrond Half-Elven, wise among men and wizards alike, and he invited me to a meeting with representatives of all the free peoples of Middle Earth. It turns out that my trouble is but part of the trouble of all the world, the origins of which lie in earlier, grander ages—but none of us stand alone!

"we detected a mature post" yeah I'm in my 30s

was outside earlier and a bird Came Up, squatted down, fluttered it’s wings at me and opened its mouth like a hatchling begging for food (it was a grown female) so I went and checked the seed cube in the feeder and the thing was completely covered in mold. this is one of the weirdest things that’s ever happened to me. how did she know im the one in charge of the birdseed. How Did She Know To Pantomime Hunger At Me. Hello.

i have spent my afternoon confusedly getting dressed, driving to the store, purchasing a new seed block, driving home, washing the cage, and getting the feeder set back up. i don’t take this much care for my Own nutrition. ive been bullied into a grocery store run by a tufted titmouse. i feel so loved

i’m very self aware. which unfortunately hasn’t solved anything

ah shit they're gaining on us. we gotta jettison some weight. throw all those stolen boomerangs out we don't need em

On it, boss!

Bad news, boss!

I love fat girls