I feel like Jews have lost.

The societal ruptures that happened after October 7 made open Jew hate okay, and there was nothing we could do, and we've already lost the fight.

The celebrations that occurred on Oct 8 made it obvious what we suspected for a while, that Jew hate had been festering for a long time, waiting for an excuse to become mainstream.

No response that Israel could have had would have changed that.

And now Jew hate is entrenched on the left and the right around the world. It has become the top issue for the American left.

I have seen myriad Jewish voices in the diaspora fight against antizionism and rising Jew hate. Israel is fighting for its very existence.

But no matter how accurate and eloquent those Jewish voices are, about history and Arab colonialism and Jewish refugees after the Holocaust and ethnic cleansing in MENA and how views about Israel are directly affecting and killing Jews... It seems like it isn't changing the tide.

I think the Iran debacle has actually made Israel less safe and entrenched the regime bent on its destruction.

I know there are good people out there, no few of them are friends and my followers on here. But for every righteous non Jew that offers me comfort, there were 10 friends or lovers or acquaintances that I lost and couldn't get back no matter how much I tried to talk to them.

I can never trust some people again, knowing that they'll always be reflexively skeptical of any Jew.

And in the court of public opinion, I feel like Jews have lost.

I try not to let hopelessness consume me. But I don't know what to do.

I'm not a fighter. I want to keep my job, which necessitates being quiet about public issues and not making a name for myself, tempting as it may be.

I tried to have polite private conversations with friends and 9 out of 10 times it failed spectacularly. So I just don't do it anymore.

So like. What do I do?

I'm on my synagogue's board now, which is exciting. Because they have need of financial and legal acumen, which are talents I can provide. Should I be satisfied just trying to help make Jewish community in the nerdiest way I can help? I know every little bit helps, and making community is truly something important. Not everything can be splashy. But it still feels so small and I still feel so restless.

I try to find Jewish joy so I don't wallow, but it's hard.

Do I just bear witness? Memorialize what I've seen for future generations?

Do I go to cantorial or rabbinical school? (A semi-serious consideration of mine)

Do I *gulp* start a podcast or start making videos? I am eloquent, authoritative, and engaging. Speaking is a talent of mine. But again, I'm not a fighter, nor do I want to make a name.

Man, I agree and I don't care if it's cringe to say so. My mom has been saying that she remembers the bicentennial when she was a kid, and people were hyped up. She said sidewalks and poles were painted with the colors of the flag. Now? You only see mentions of the 250th anniversary in advertisements trying to cash in on it, really. But among people, nobody’s heart is in it. It could've been great. This person is right and this was part of what was so gutting about 2024; it was the best of American ideals vs the worst of American society...and the worst won. It's still hard to sit with.

you can see moments where they pass people who look up and see what’s happening but then just ignore it and go about their business.

there’s something viscerally terrifying about seeing masked people following a Jew to hurl abuse at him, and having to wonder if the next time I see footage like that, it won’t end with a rope and a tree.

After almost a decade on this site, I found another Tumblr user in the wild. I stopped to tie my shoe with rainbow laces this morning outside the silversmith at Colonial Williamsburg, and I heard it.

“I like your shoelaces.”

Oh. Oh no.

I responded the only way I could. “Thanks.” And then I reluctantly added, “I stole them from the president…and if that makes sense to you, I’m very sorry.”

The poor man, in full Colonial dress, stared at me for a long moment. And then burst into laughter. And said, “I haven’t thought about that in YEARS and this has never happened to me before.”

Yeah. Me neither. Not until today.

please, please, please remember that this "hating transmascs" and "kill all TMEs" bullshit is just a few edgy weirdos on the internet who enjoy saying inflammatory things for shock value.

transfems are not your enemy, and YES, you do actually need to unlearn transmisogyny. Not because you're transmasc, but because we live in a transmisogynistic society.

transfems are not a hivemind, there's no broader transfem consensus that transmascs are Evil Privileged Abusers, but the small group of people who think that way WANT you to believe that they are representative of trans women everywhere. they're super not. they really are just a handful of angsty people online looking for someone to pick on.

all trans people have more commonalities than differences. there aren't two distinct species of trans people from two different planets, there are just trans people with a wide diversity of experiences and walks of life. we are all affected by the same systems of oppression.

1. if you feel judged and hurt by others, try sleeping

2. if you feel judgmental and resentful of others, try eating (the classics)

3. if you feel uncomfortable, try showering

4. if you feel directionless and afraid, go sit outside for a bit and maybe then you'll calm down. maybe even a walk if youre feelin crazy