Frisktastic

If you become a trillionaire you should immediately be shot and have your assets seized and redistributed. You were a fruit that is now ripe and ready for harvest

i really like how the milkman exists as an entirely fossilized character who now serves no purpose other than to fuck people's wives for the punchline

scientists are experimenting on cross-breeding a crab and a cheetah; things could go sideways real fast

did i ever tell you guys that in the mid 2010s there were a couple blogs that were talking shit about me and trying to cancel me for stupid fandom bullshit (I had a porn blog and I shipped billford oh nooo) and I had them blocked but sometimes I couldn't help ragebaiting myself and checking their blogs anyway to see what they were saying. so I used a browser extension to redirect their tumblr urls to crouton.net. and sometimes i would forget and be like "oouugh lemme see what those little shits are saying now" only to be brought to crouton.net instead. it immediately dissolved any anger or curiosity i had about what someone was talking shit about me. I was instead like "oh, crouton. thats right...looking at that stuff isnt good for me. thanks crouton" like it probably actually saved my mental health in college tbh

Official Post of Massachusetts

It's fine to disagree with the IAU about the definition of "planet"; however, if your definition includes Pluto but not Ceres, Orcus, Haumea, Quaoar, Makemake, Gonggong, Eris or Sedna, you don't actually care what a planet is – you just want the exact list of nine planets you learned in primary school back. Your cute little Pluto-including orbital distance mnemonic ought to be at least seventeen words long, and good fucking luck with the Q!

network effect is really good because to amena murderbot is basically just a babysitter with guns but to everyone from the corporate rim it’s like seeing a teen hanging out with a grizzly bear and when they’re like what the hell she’s just like yeah that’s my mom’s friend it’s lame as fuckkkk

my favorite example of this was in college when multiple of my CS professors had this habbit of saying "he" half second pause "or she!" like every time. you would think they would get used to "he or she" at least but they whole time I was just thinking, instead of spending this whole time trying to remember to say this somewhat clunky and less sexist but still exclusive phrase, why don't you just switch to the single word most inclusive "they" 😅